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2012.01.01

Posted by gaomingwu on January 1, 2012
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1. Anna Maria came back to the house yesterday (New Year Eve) and found out her room unavailable to live, so she put the following post on house’s Facebook group,
“hey, I’m living in the attic till the rooms are finished, please don’t go up there till they’re done? Please? It should only be for a couple days,”
I replied like, “Hi Anna, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I know you are a good kid, but you are too late for Santa. Plus there is no chimney at the attic…”

2. Martin, Jane, Gina, Courtney, New Steve and I were chilling in the living room three days ago, when Kim knocked the door from the outside and we all yelled her name. After walking in, she looked a little bit surprised and asked, “I thought there were much more people than you guys.”
“Oh, that’s because Gina is as loud as four people.” I explained.

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Lansing MI, Nov 2011

2011.12.26

Posted by gaomingwu on December 26, 2011
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1. Everybody left the house for Xmas but Kim and me. I was cooking in the kitchen this evening and made too much smoke, which set up the fire alarm unexpectedly. So Kim and I had to call 911 for the fire fighters to reset the alarm.
Upon setting feet in our house, one fire fighter asked me, “How are you doing?”
“I am OK. Just feel lonely and have to ask you guys to come.” I replied.
2. Before leaving, the same fire fighter asked me to put down my name and number so that he can enclose them into his report. So I put down “Barton” and my phone number on a paper.
That guy took a look at the paper and asked me “Is Barton your first name or last name?”
“Oh, that’s actually my fake name…” I told the truth.

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-Lansing MI, Nov 2011

2011.12.19

Posted by gaomingwu on December 19, 2011
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1. I got downstairs and saw Steve and Anna in the galley, so I told them I was planning to perform an English comedian show for Chinese students’ spring festival and hoped they can give me some suggestion when I am ready.

“You know what is funny? Get naked.” Steve offered suggestions immediately.

“Yeah, Steve used to do that in his room so that Earl (Steve’s roommate) could give him feedback.” Anna commented.

“And maybe also some feedforth as well as back-and-forth afterwards…..” I revealed the truth a little bit further.

2. We were waiting for Earl using the bathroom in the gallery so that we could go to Sugar Berry for Ice cream the other night. He didn’t show up for a while so that someone asked, “What the hell is he doing in the bathroom?”

“Maybe he needs a hand.” I replied.

3. Earl kept calling me Farton (indicating “fart”) instead of Barton. “Hey Earl, do you even know you are a fartist?” I accused of him punching to fascist.

4. We were getting ready to play soccer in the living room when Andrea asked me how the budget can handle whole sale toilet paper for the house. Martin interrupted, “Hey we should get whole sale condoms for house. I need really really thin ones. Those if-it’s-not-broken-you do-it-wrong ones.”

“Oh, I need the opposite. I wanna have really really thick ones. I don’t wanna feel a thing.” Earl claimed his preference.

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NBA preseason Game, Piston vs Cavalier. $18 for the seat on the first row of the floor… -Detroit MI, Dec 2012

 

2011.12.15

Posted by gaomingwu on December 15, 2011
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1. Earl saw me walking out of the laundry room and told me in the kitchen that my underpants were left on the floor of the laundry room. I knew he was kidding and didn’t buy it, “You are lying. I haven’t worn underpants for a long time…”

2. Whenever Gina did something bad, she would like to say “I feel like a dick,” because she believed dick is bad upon my curiosity. So I said to her one day, “Gina, I feel like a vagina…”

3. Before house Thanksgiving dinner, Anna, Chelsea and I ended up discussing about the royalty in the relationship for some reason in the kitchen when these two girls reflected their ex-boyfriends cheating on them. Earl came in to check how dinner was going and asked me what I was doing there.

“Oh, I am listening to these two bitches bitching about their ex-boyfriends.” I replied.

4. Rama (my professor) invited us to his house for Big Ten football champion game and apologized for only vege food offered since he and his wife are both vegetarians.

“You know what, Rama? That’s why we will not tip you.” I complained.

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2011.10.27

Posted by gaomingwu on October 27, 2011
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1. We were discussing about the preference of being called by last name or first name the other day in the kitchen, when we all agreed normally people would call others by first name. Then Caitlin Slicker told us a story that some guy actually asked her, “Hi Slicker, can I call you Caitlin?”…

2.1 My car’s muffler was sat broken by one friend (meaning my car’s muffler became broken after I gave a ride to my friend just to clarify), so I had to drop by an auto repair shop to get it fixed when a couple with their two really cute three years old girls also waiting in the lounge.

One of the cute girl was playing toys and said to her dad for some reason, “Dad, you are silly.” People in the lounge laughed and I kidded like,  “Yeah, your dad is silly enough to have you~”

2.2 The other cute girl kept playing with the gumball machine trying to get some candies without paying any money. People from the shop told her the gumball machine was broken, but she didn’t believe it and kept trying instead. So I tried to convinced her like, “Hey, it’s broken, otherwise it will make you broke.”

3. We were watching TV in the living room when people tried to find the remote everywhere to switch the channel but could not. So I gave my suggestion like, “Someone please call the remote.” Courtney actually took out her cell phone and talked on the phone like, “Hey remote, where are you?..”

4.1 Earl misheard my name by Farton and told others when someone call my name Barton the other day, which was why someone actually asked me later, “Barton, do you fart?”… “No, I don’t!”, I tried to fight back but had to tell the truth, “I mean I fart, but not a lot…”

4.2 Just for those who may concern, some people in Ohio called me Bartender short for Barton~

2011.10.22

Posted by gaomingwu on October 22, 2011
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1. We were having house dinner last night when Caitlin S and Courtney discussed about the beer of Coors. Courtney made comments like,

“Coors is my favorite beer, because it doesn’t taste like beer…”

2. I saw Earl in the library last Tuesday, who was checking out a book at the circulation desk. So I asked,

“What are you doing here, man?”

“Oh, I am borrowing a book of history for my class.” Earl answered.

“I didn’t know you can read.” I kidded him.

“Yeah, I just learned last week…” he kidded back.

2011.10.16

Posted by gaomingwu on October 16, 2011
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1. I was at a party in Hedrick the other night when some guy complained about how bad he did in the math session of GRE by saying “I only scored XXX in the math session, basically meaning I am retarded.” Then he turned to me and yelled, “So fuck GRE! Fuck ETS!”

Without any hesitation, I yelled back, “Yes, I did it, man. I fucked them 5 years ago!”

2. We’ve got a party last night with tons of people with Zach and Claire P coming back to check us out. Zach told me he knew about the accident of China’s high speed railway when I had to interrupt him,

“Hey man, you know too much about China. I have to kill you right here right now..”

3. I was cooking Napa Cabbage in the kitchen today and thinking about doing the same thing for house dinner sometime in the near future. When Anna asked me how to cook it, I told her the truth,

“Pretty Simple. Cook the meat for a while, put in all Cabbages and some salt and then everything will be fine.

This is Napa Cabbage, no matter how you cook it, it will taste good. That’s my cooking secret..”

2010.10.11

Posted by gaomingwu on October 11, 2011
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1. Anna and Spencer were working on the house dinner in the kitchen the other day, when Gina was helping them mixing the pasta from the pan. I felt hungry, so I kept picking up pastas piece by piece into month with my hands.

Gina yelled at me, “Barton, it’s not dinner time yet!”

“I know… That’s why I am not using any fork or dish!” I replied.

2. Steve got a date the other day. The next morning Caitlin S. asked Earl, Steve’s roomie,  how that date was going. Earl told her, ” Well, he didn’t come back last night. Obviously it went well….”

3. During research, I like to do what I feel right and fail to follow Rama’s guidance from time to time, which was not always fun for Rama. Finally, Rama got pretty pissed off the other day, “Mingwu, please do what exactly I told you and follow my words from now on until next Valentine’s Day. Let’s see what can happen…”

“OK..” I replied totally having no idea what on earth is going on between Valentine’s Day and my research…

4. For some reason I have to meet Rama every other Saturday. The other day he came to the office saying we can’t meet on campus that coming Saturday due to the football game on campus. “Are you sure? I thought this week’s game is on road” I asked.

“I am sure. You can check by yourself if you like.” Rama said.

So I actually got on ESPN.com to check it out with Rama standing behind me. After figuring it out, I turned my head back and told Rama he was right, who was smiling and kidding me,

“Mingwu, why were you questioning me? You know what, if you did that in a company, you have been unemployed right here right now. You can do that after I leave the office if you like and tell me later if I was wrong…”

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I’ve got a dog named “旺财“ in Chinese or “Cash Wooer” in English to accompany me in campus every day! It’s so cute and I love it!

Another beauty of this deal is, I finally figure out a function for that pocket of my bag holding this dog, which has been a mystery for me for a while.

2011.10.02 blog 5周年博文精选 | 5th anniversary!!

Posted by gaomingwu on October 2, 2011
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Today is the 5th anniversary of my blog. So much more than I can say. The milestone to mark the past half a decade for me was to abanden a set of unhealthy values toward life and build up a set of healthy ones. Now I know what I want, including about life style, career, family, lover and almost everything, and how to make myself happy.

What’s more, I am doing what I like and feeling happy and blessed. I hope this blog can stay growing with me and spreading happiness to both me and you guys. Let’s see what could happy in the future.

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我精选了几篇我觉得写得挺好的博文作纪念:

1.  娱乐圈不好混啊--俺在毕业晚会的节目被和谐掉了

2. 干死小日本

3. 老妈故事精编

4. 牛顿故事新编

5. 向人类公布偶发明的一个物理量,及其单位

6. 安全感|好人卡|我设计的一个条件反射实验 

7. 我觉得自己是一个伪基督徒

8.  2011.1.1 New Year’s plan: to share joy with others

9. Everything after 2011.1.1

2011.09.08

Posted by gaomingwu on September 8, 2011
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I was making breakfast in the kitchen around 10am when Helene came back from a class named Human Rights. I asked how it was going. She told me the class were discussing about one philosopher who she felt pretty lost about.

“Oh, who’s the philosopher?” I asked.

“Kant. I am not sure if you heard of him or not.” she answered.

“Yeah, I know him. Actually I love philosophy and read several books. One of them was named ‘Philosophy for Dummies’ which you can borrow if you like.”

“Sure, thanks!” She said.

So I went upstairs to my room and got that book which I found was actually named “Idiots’ Philosophy” not “Philosophy for Dummies”. Once I got back to the kitchen, I handed the book to Helene and told her,

“Here the book for you. Actually it’s not for dummies. It’s for idiots…”

2011.09.07

Posted by gaomingwu on September 7, 2011
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Here comes a visiting student to our lab. While everybody but Mohsen was in the office, Rama came to the office and said he was gonna buy every one including the visiting student a lunch this Sunday. We were all very happy.

When Mohsen came back to the office later, I asked Mohsen, “Hey Mohsen, did you hear that Rama is gonna buy us lunch this Sunday?

“Yep, I heard about it.“ Mohsen replied.

“Can you believe that?” I asked again.

“No, I can’t believe that.” Mohsen smiled at me.

“Me either…” I smiled viciously back.

2011.09.05

Posted by gaomingwu on September 5, 2011
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I was doing the shopping in the outlet with my friends yesterday and saw one store selling the belts labeled as “Buy two and get one for free”.

The store’s owner stood at the store’s door and told one customer walking in,

“Buy two and get one for free. You like the word of  ‘Free’ ?”

“Yeah, I like the word of ‘Free’, but I don’t like the word of ‘Buy two’…” that customer said.

2011.09.04 It’s all about the conference!

Posted by gaomingwu on September 4, 2011
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1.1 I had to complete the flight transfer in DC’s airport within 25 minutes due to the last flight’s delay. I walked  from one end of the airport to the other end in a decent hurry and believed there should be enough time until I found out baggage check had to be done one more time before boarding. After a speedy series of unpacking and packing as well as undressing and dressing, finally I made it the moment the steward was closing the boarding gate. Just before I thought this couldn’t be more drama my pants fell down from my waist — I left my dammed belt at the baggage check…

1.2 The next evening I did the belt shopping in downtown Boston and continued the window shopping by myself when Rama (my professor) showed up on the street with his friends and introduced me to them. As always, I won’t give it a break to him, so I asked seriously,

“Rama, I didn’t have enough time to transfer flight and lost my belt on this business trip. Are you gonna refund the belt for me?”

“No, I won’t…” People laughed and rejected my proposal without even giving it a thought.

1.3 Rama’s friend gave me a good suggestion though, “Don’t worry about it. You can hit Boston’s airport 5 minutes earlier on your way back and tell people there you lost a belt. If they asked what color it is, just tell them brown. They probably would bring out over 100 belts among which you just need to pick the best one and claim it’s yours…”

2.1 Rama is a vegetarian but appears a little bit bellied.

During the conference, Rama asked Guanqun (my current officemate), Federico as well as Xiaoxiao (two of our lab’s alumni) and me to have a group lunch together, so I got the chance to ask Rama a question which had been bothering me for a while,

“Rama, can I ask you a question?”

“Yeah?”

“I have always been wondering how a vegetarian can end up with such a big belly like you…”

2.2 People laughed and Rama tried to argue “No, that’s not big…”

“At least it’s noticeable…” I nailed it.

“Alright, if you said that, it’s probably caused by cheese and persistent sitting and working hard. Mingwu, I am gonna measure your waist’s circumstance back in Lansing and measure it again before you graduate. If it doesn’t become bigger, I won’t let you have your Ph. D…”

3. By the end of one presenter’s presentation, I was trying to ask two questions. But my turn didn’t come until the chair pointed at me said, “OK, the last question please.”

I hesitated a little bit and cleared my throat, “My question is, ‘Can I ask two questions?’ ”

4. I attended one session addressing children’s mental disease when the chair asked all people in the room to introduce themselves and what interested them to come to this session.

Just as my turn came, I was being quite honest, “My name is Mingwu from Michigan State University. I am not really familiar with this topic. I am quite interested to know if I have some mental disease…”

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Topic kinda unrelated to this conference.

I took this picture in Cleveland’s airport and got refreshed with the lesson that “The room next door to women’s door may not be men’s room.” I learned a couple of years ago.

Here was how I learned this lesson.  I entered a room next door to women’s room in an airport, realized something wrong and got out without giving any thought. An old lady walking into the same room became extremely unconfident with herself upon seeing me walking out of that room. She stepped backward a little bit and scrutinized the room’s tag a couple of more times until she assured herself with the room’s function and got in.”

2011.08.12 How I was and am bullied in Michigan as a Buckeye

Posted by gaomingwu on August 12, 2011
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Buckeye: the mascot of OSU (the Ohio State Unviersity)

1. When I decided to go to MSU (Michigan State University) for Ph. D degree last year, my friends in Ohio became pretty sentimental saying, “Congratulations, even though it is Michigan….”

2. On my first day of school in MSU, I wore a sweater of “Ohio State” to see my professor, who took a look at me, “OK. The first thing for you to do about your research: get a new sweater!”

3. One department staff overheard my discussion with the secretary about my salary payment delay. He stared my OSU sweater and pretended to get amazingly surprised, “Oh, since when we didn’t pay people from Ohio? That is new to me…” “Yeah… I didn’t know that either. You guys should have warned me before I came.” I complained.

4.Around half a year ago, my professor joked with me, “Mingwu, since you are such a big fan of Ohio State, one thing has to be done to fulfill your Ph. D degree requirement: to watch a football game of MSU in stadium, otherwise I can’t let you have your degree…”

5.Whenever something unpleasant happened to the basketball or football teams of OSU, someone in my house always can’t help knocking my door and letting me know. People like Claire M would say, “Hey Barton, do you know Ohio State lost to Wisconsin?” while people like Martin would say, “Barton, do you know the players of Ohio State got banned”..

6. On the morning of St Patrick’s Day, Claire M yelled at me and asked me to put on the green T-shirt she would like to loan me, warning “Barton, you have to take off your scarlet (OSU color) T-shirt today. You can wear it any day but today. You have to put on this green (MSU color) one….”

7. I visited my friends in Ohio a couple of months ago. When I came back to Michigan, people asked me about my friends in Ohio. “Oh, they are doing fine. I told them people in Michigan are nice, but they don’t believe me…” I kidded.

8.1 I took the laser surgery on my face in University of Michigan’s hospital in a T-shirt with Ohio State football team’s helmet. Exactly during the surgery, the doctor asked me all of a sudden, “Are you a buckeye?”

“Yeah… I used to be” I had no idea what was going on.

“OK, put the machine at the maximal power!” That doctor told his technician to kid me.

8.2 Finally the surgery was done. I asked the doctor imtimidatedly, “Doctor, you didn’t make a UM (short for University of Michigan) on my face, did you?”

9. During the house meeting a couple of months ago, Martin teased me like, “Hey Barton, do you know why I don’t understand you like to be a buckeye?” “No, I don’t.” “Because I can never imagine someone would like to be a nut….” (Buckeye is Ohio State’s mascot but also a kind of nut; nuts also refers to crazy or stupid people)

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Totally unrelated topic:

I am such a tiger… based on the wrinkles on my forehead…

2011.07.30

Posted by gaomingwu on July 30, 2011
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1. Laurie is the secretary of our department taking care of the salary. Because of some mistakes made by the university, I didn’t get paid for 6 weeks since the middle of May which was why I got into her office once or twice a week for almost 6 weeks trying to get everything straight.

Every time I entered her office, she would ask “What is going on, honey?” and I would say “Oh, I didn’t get paid..” or “I didn’t get paid for the right amount.” after which she would always apologize and try to fix that. Finally she got everything straight and I got paid around 4 weeks ago.

Last Wednesday, I entered her office for a totally different issue when she asked “How may I help you, honey?” “I didn’t get paid…” I told her smilelessly. She became extremely shocked and stared at me with her eyes wild open having no idea what is going on.

Just before things stopped being funny, I smiled at her, “Oh, I was joking~~”

2. I’ve got a cool T-shirt with “This is what awesome looks like” printed on. The other day I wore that T-shirt and discussed about the research with my professor, who couldn’t help moving his eyes from my face down to the T-shirt.

After serious scrutinization, he looked at me and asked suspiciously “Is this what awesome looks like?…”

3. The internet of our house was down the other day. I fixed it and changed the password of the router to “LoveBarton” meaning my roomies have to love me restlessly to get on the internet which is really cool.

But it was down again soon after that. So I fixed it one more time after which I told roomies on our house facebook group, “I guess you guys have to love me twice to get on internet…”

4. Normally I walked to the office and enjoyed the fresh air, lovely trees as well as ducks in the river every day, while last Tuesday, I drove to work for a change in the morning and totally forgot about it.

Consequently I walked back home directly after work… I think it is really worthwhile for me to have a car.

2011.07.24

Posted by gaomingwu on July 24, 2011
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I was watching the TV show of “So You Think You Can Dance” for last week, in which 6 couples of dancers competed against each other. It is an awesome fun show. One couple of dancers completed their routine so perfectly that a male judge had to make his comments like,

“Clarice (the female dancer’s name), let me ask you a question. Do you have a boyfriend?”

“Yes, I do. He is right there” That girl answered having no idea what was going on.

“I do too. But I think we should get married.” That male judge just simply kept talking…

2011.07.14

Posted by gaomingwu on July 14, 2011
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1.1 Mohsen, my officemate broke his left wrist when playing soccer last weekend. Upon his arrival of the office and the moment that we figured out what was going on, Jiankun, one of my other officemates, made comments like, “Mohsen, I think Rama (our professor) should cut your pay into half, since you can only work with one hand…”

1.2 Even though I thought the professor would comment on Mohsen’s broken wrist like “Hey Mohsen, I think you should work as hard as you play soccer”, the professor made a better one by threatening us in the office saying, “Did you guys see the consequence of not working in the office during the weekend? See, when I asked you guys work in the office during the weekend, I was actually protecting you guys from breaking your wrist…”

1.3 After professor left the office, Jiankun joked with Mohsen like, “Mohsen, you should have told Rama you broke your wrist on the stairs so that he didn’t have to give us such a hard time.” “No, that’s not good enough,” I added, “If I were Mohsen, I would have told Rama that I broke my wrist while I was programming on the keyboard…”

2. On July 12th of 2011, I received this Christmas gift mailed by Siqi Liu before December 20th of 2010…. Even though it’s kind of hilarious to receive a Christmas gift in such a hot hot summer, still please allow me to say “Son of Lady Gaga!”

2011.07.09

Posted by gaomingwu on July 9, 2011
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Best Seat in a restaurant and ever….

—from Udon Sushi Bakery

2011.07.07

Posted by gaomingwu on July 7, 2011
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1. I had a haircut last weekend and somebody was being nice by saying “Barton, nice haircut~”. I made my courteous gesture and said, “Thanks. To be honest, I grew the hair all by myself~”.

2. One year ago in Columbus OH, again I had a haircut. Keith was being nice by saying “Hey, you have a haircut. It looks nice.” “No, it looks like you, but it doesn’t look nice…” I was joking with him.

3. On the Independence Day, Gina, Chelsea, Zeke, Kalyahs and I went to see the fireworks. On our way back Gina described someone who is really uncool by saying, “He is such a disgusting weasel fucker….”

4. Yesterday my professor came to the office and discussed about the research with Mohsen, my officemate who followed the professor’s words exactly but did not try something new for the research.
The professor commented like, “Mohsen, you are exactly the opposite with Mingwu (my Chinese name). You don’t take any freedom in your research, but Mingwu takes too much liberty in his (indicating  every so often I don’t really like following his words,  but do the research in the way that I believed was right. )
I have to interrupt their conversation and pretend to apologize sincerely, “I am sorry professor. I am too self-motivated…”

(For more about me and my professor, please click here.)

2011.07.04

Posted by gaomingwu on July 4, 2011
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1. Yesterday evening, I asked Zeke and Chelsea what they were up to later when Chelsea told me they were gonna hit the bar with some others and believed I should go with them. I told them I didn’t really enjoy drinking, but Zeke told me he didn’t like it either, which caused me to ask why he would like to go anyway.

Zeke said, “I like to see Chelsea’s stupidity in the bar.”

“Oh, I had enough of that.” I told them.

“Yea.. You had that every day in the house, Barton.” Chelsea said.

“Sorry for being honest.” I pretended to apologize sincerely to Chelsea, who got totally pissed off, turned her back to me and went to shower directly screaming, “Barton, you are slapping me!”

2. The other day, Erin said a guy was coming to the house to see her but she was a little bit nervous about what to do. Gina comforted her like, “Don’t worry, we will diffuse him…”

3. Ty came back and chilled with us at the front door the other day picturing the day he and his girl get married in the future. Kate who would like to marry them as a kinda priest turned out to ask desperately, “Ty, can I marry you?” People laughed and I felt totally amused by saying “Dude, how needy is that!”.

4. Ty told us a gay (no offense to gays btw) asked him out the other day like, “Hey, you wanna come out for a cup of coffee and do stuff?” “Oh? What kind of stuff?” I pretended to be ignorant and interrupted… Before Ty told us how he convinced that guy about his straightness.

5. Kate posted something on the house group of facebook like “Hey boners, tomorrow evening I need to attend the board meeting but have to go to girls’ roller derby at the same time. You all know which one is more important. So could someone go to the board meeting for me..”

6. The other day Zack greeted me in the kitchen when I accidentally dropped a bunch of ice on the ground and made huge noise. I got totally pissed off and pointed my finger at Zack “See, this is exactly why I should ignore you!”

2011.06.17

Posted by gaomingwu on June 17, 2011
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Would you let us out please?” -from Schuler Books Store

“求求你,放我们出去吧..”-摄于舒勒书店

2011.06.15

Posted by gaomingwu on June 15, 2011
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I found a girl to move in so as to relieve the finance situation of our house. I post something on our house’s group on facebook like,

“ Hey fucking boners,

I found a girl to move in later this week.

I think you guys should say something nice to me~”

(For those who don’t know the definition of  “boner” like me several months ago, it refers to the male reproduction organ in a naughty way. It is also widely employed in our house for people to call each other, all guys and girls included.)

Claire M replied like, “Barton, you are the best boner in the world…..”

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It was my first time to watch a soccer game in an indoor field the other day. It was USA vs Canada of Gold Cup 2011 (美洲杯). The air conditioning is fxxxing cold, so weird for people watching soccer game in such a hot hot summer. I saw legendary Tim Howard and Landon Donovan. Big fan!

2011.06.06

Posted by gaomingwu on June 6, 2011
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1. Dylan and Alex, two straight good friends of each other, went camping last night. With people chilling at the front yard after dinner tonight, I questioned Dylan like, “Hey Dylan, how did you like sleeping with Alex last night?..”
2. Just upon my arrival at house from campus before dinner today, Zach was teasing me like “Hey Barton’s ready for all ladies” due to the laser surgery I just took last week.
“Yeah, I am, man. Thanks.” I felt encouraged.
“You can just simply talk about your hot hot research after this, then all ladies will be yours” Zach kept talking.
Without any thought, I told him the truth, “Trust me, dude. I tried that before. It didn’t work..”

2011.05.20 原创了10道《老罗语录》自测题目

Posted by gaomingwu on May 20, 2011
Posted in: Uncategorized. 2 Comments

老罗说,时间对于别出新裁的小花样是最无情的。老罗长久以来对予我精神上的指引,在无情的时间面前并没有如那些别出新裁的小花样般逝去,而是如同其它生活和生命中最重要的东西一样沉淀了下来。随手编了10道从《老罗语录》中编写的测试题,我办公室的知已冠群同学已经很轻松的答出来了,大家看个乐子。

老罗语录测试题目(gaomingwu)

1.	一个男人在马路上狂奔,遇到一个麦当劳,他没有停下来,继续地跑。请问接下来这个男人最有可能做什么?  
        
A.  去肯德基	      B. 尿裤子	C. 跑个马拉松	     D. 跑回麦当劳

2.	一个男的一边做俯卧撑一边数数:“997,998,999….”请问这个男的接下去看到的第一个人最有可能是

A.	数学老师  B. 健身教练  C.他女朋友  D.上帝

3.	对于一个懂事的小男孩来说,上树前最重要的准备工作是:

A.	把裤子脱了  B.回家吃饭  C. 把树砍了  D. 带个手套

4.	黑社会最重要的标志是:

A.	都长得黑  B.都有枪  C.都有两部以上手机 D.都爱社会主义

5.	你在大街上看到一个受伤的老太太倒在马路边上,第一件最应该做的事情是

A.	把老太太扶起来

B.	看这个老太太是不是上一回倒在路上的老太太

C.	打电话叫警察

D.	叫一些路人证明自己没有把老太太撞倒

6.	你被一个女孩抛弃后,最有正确的做法是

A.	默默的走开,独自舔舐自己的伤口

B.	祝这个女孩抛弃自己是个正确的选择

C.	写一篇咒咀诗

D.	告诉这个女生如果今后不开心,可以随时找自己

7.	老罗正当众讲黄色笑话,这个时候制止他最正确的句子是

A.	“老罗,这种说法不提倡!”

B.	“老罗,真有你的!”

C.	“老罗,瞎说啥实话!”

D.	“老罗,黄色的笑话尽量少讲!”

8.	把5个猴子放进笼子里,然后放几个香蕉,某研究人员立刻用热水去烧这5个猴子去拿香蕉的猴子。请问这位研究人员最有可能是:

A.动物学家 B. 植物学家  C. 社会学家  D. 热力学家

9.	为什么人体寿丝在中国没有得到推广:

A.	盛着寿丝的姑娘妆化的太重了

B.	盛着寿丝的姑娘穿得太少了

C.	盛着寿丝的姑娘不是日本人

D.	盛着寿丝的姑娘没有经过热消毒

10.	一对打算离婚的男女到达法院找到相关人员准备离婚时,女子最正确的做法是

A.	用高跟鞋咣地猛踹男子的小腹

B.	本儿本儿地热吻男子

C.	打男子一个嘴巴,“你这个臭不要脸的!”

D.	打男子一个嘴巴,“你真坏…”

答案:BCACB BDCDA

2011.05.14

Posted by gaomingwu on May 14, 2011
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周二和唐迪在外边吃午饭,吃完打包端着盘子朝盘子回收箱的门口走,看见门口吃饭的两个妹子。我对唐迪说,“诶,那边的两个妹子不错。”唐迪说:“恩,确实不错..”于是一边走一边讨论,讨论之深入,以致我经过盘子回收箱时把打包的菜tmd想都没想就当垃圾给扔了。走在马路上突然想起来,诶,我打包的菜哪去了… 唐迪笑到暴,让我回去捡回来。我说要不是回收箱旁边坐着两美女,你以为我不捡啊。唐迪说红颜祸水啊,我说是啊,太可恶了,连我打包的菜都不放过。所谓坐怀不乱,目不斜视者乃圣贤,远非我这样的鼠辈。

2011.05.06 Questions I raised for Steve Wozniak, co-founder of Apple

Posted by gaomingwu on May 6, 2011
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Steve Wozniak  the co-founder of Apple Inc. came to give a speech. As a big fan, I raised two questions. I was talking like,

” Yeah, I have two questions. The first one, can I take a picture with you after the speech?” People laughed and Steve said I might have to take a ticket or things like that.

“My second question is it necessary for successful companies and successful people to do something evil? Like rumor said Apple stole the idea of graphic interface from Xenos and Microsoft stole the same idea from Apple. Zuckerberg stole the idea of Facebook from somebody else. Besides that as you mentioned when you started to learn computer, you didn’t have the access to the computer, so you kind of broke into computer room to sharpen you computer skill. My questions is when people have limited resources, is it necessary for them to do something evil?” Steve did not answer my questions completely but just claimed they did not steal the idea from Xenos.

Anyway it is great fun to ask my idol questions and make him laugh.

I think I am pretty good at making people laugh. I am proud of it. Just to be honest…

2011.05.01 All About Statistics Class

Posted by gaomingwu on May 1, 2011
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1. I took the course of Time Series Analysis from Statistics Department. My teammate in the final project is an American guy in the engineering school, around 10 years older than me. He was dating a girl at the onset of this course when he complained to me about how high maintenance his girlfriend was and he was struggling among courses, research and his girlfriend. He told me he would like to quit dating that girl but couldn’t do it. Why, I asked.

He said before dating that girl he was not sure he would like to do it. So he asked that girl whether she had other potential boyfriend candidates. The girl told him she asked a few guys from engineering school but all of them said they didn’t have enough time and warned him of what could happen. “I can’t quit dating a girl for the reason she warned me of beforehand” he said…

2. But he is a really fun guy to work with and shares some of his dating experience with me which is really useful. One rule of thumb he gave me was, “Don’t be nice to girls other than your girlfriend while you are dating…”

3.  One day the professor was returning people’s homework by the calling the names marked on people’s homework when he met a nameless homework. So he asked anybody’s homework has no name on it? Nobody answered. He asked a few times until he decided to offer some important information like, “This homework is written in pen not pencil and on white paper…”

4. I volunteered to give a talk on my previous lottery buying experience on the Friday before the last. After that, on the following Friday I was up to do final project’s presentation for the same course. At the starting point of the presentation, I was talking like,

“Hello, everybody. It’s been a week since the last time I gave a speech to you guys. I thank all of you waiting for me for such a long time…..”

5. That course’s professor has a really really short haircut and stayed in that way for the whole semester by which we were all totally impressed.  By the end of the final presentation, I was talking like,

“Ironically, the only useful thing discussed by statistics is predication while the prediction made by statistics is not reliable at all. Whenever I thought about this, I feel guilty. But because of our professor’s brilliant teaching, charming smile and peerless haircut… or almost-no-hair cut…. I decide to give statistics one more chance by predicting our presentation will be graded higher than 90%. If it comes true, statistics is still somehow useful. Otherwise you guys (most students in the class are from statistics) really should quit statistics and come to my department.”

2011.04.23

Posted by gaomingwu on April 23, 2011
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1. 本年度我拍的最佳马p:
老板某天下午来到办公室向我们解释说最近太忙了,没时间和我们meeting,还说之前他不这样,但最近老婆生孩子,他在学校又加了很多commitee的职位,他就忙得不过来。
我就很虔诚地安慰他说:”Don’t worry professor. Spiderman said, The more power, the more responsibility..” 老板环视了一下办公室,向我露出了胜利的微笑:”Spiderman said that? en you are right…” 效果灰常的理想~~
(后我又查了下Spiderman的台词,发现自己搞错了,Spiderman其实说的是,”With great power, there must also come great responsibility.”

2. 2008我笑话的代表作:
2008年我有幸去瑞士免费开会,Fly姐姐抱怨说要是她能把自己变小就好勒,这样她就可以躲在我的包包里也去瑞士玩勒。我说,其实不用啊,你可以在耳朵两边各放一片面包,涂点Ketchup,我带你上飞机。如果有人问的话,我就说我只想带上一个Sandwich上飞机,至于我想在Sandwich里夹什么管他tmd什么p事…

2011.4.15 The books I have been reading

Posted by gaomingwu on April 15, 2011
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1. <Outlier> My Rating: 85%

Revealed unspeakable reasons for people to become successful in career (NOTE: not in life). NOTE again: this is not such a self-help book as “7 habits” or things like that. It is a book based on historical statistics and real data. It is a research report more than nonsense talking. A little bit too wordy comparing the points made and how thick the book turned out to be.

2. <Blink> My Rating: 50%

Trying but failing to explain why some people can make the right judgement on somebody else by only taking a slice of others’ impression. I couldn’t even finish it due to meaningless story-telling.

3. <Predictably Irrational> My Rating 90%

Introduced and analyzed the common irrational behaviors of human being in daily life with research methodology and experiments. This is a book definitely worth reading even though some of the author’s conclusion needs more evidence to support. But still you will be so shocked to death by learning how irrational you are actually being.

4. <Feynman’s Rainbow> My Rating 100%

Short but elegant true stories about Richard Feynman, a Nobel Prize winner and main contributor to the USA’s nuclear bomb in World War II. He is wise, funny, innocent and curious about almost everything. What’s more he enjoyed his own philosophy and gained a peaceful mind towards others, physics and the whole world. I learned a lot from him.

5. <Surely you are joking, Mr. Feynman> My Rating 95%.

The autobiography of Richard Feynman (see item 4 above). So many funny stories of his whole life. Also revealed was how he conducted the research group contributing to build the nuclear bomb in World War II. Again, his philosophy towards life, others and research deeply impressed me.

6. <The Character of Physical Law> My Rating 90%

The lecture of Richard Feynman (see above). Built up the connection of the whole physics system with plain and easy English, vivid examples and absolutely NO equations. It is fun to read it, but looks like it is not really related either to my life or career. So I just simply quit after ¼ of the book.

2011.3.29

Posted by gaomingwu on March 29, 2011
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(English)

For some reason, I sneezed nearly 10 times in a row yesterday and totally ignored my innocent boss at my desk by saying, “Gee, I must have worked too hard…”

(Chinese)

昨天连打了近10个喷嚏,完全无视旁边被石化的老板的存在,默默地叹了口气:”Gee, I must have worked too hard…”

2011.3.27 It’s all about my professor!

Posted by gaomingwu on March 27, 2011
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1.1 My current professor is a funny ego. He is always pretty confident about himself reasonably or sometimes unreasonably. The other day he asked me to show him some data which I never had. He didn’t buy it by saying, “How can’t you have it? You just showed it to me a couple of days ago.” “No, I didn’t,” I told him. “Yes, you did,” he insisted “I am pretty sure about it. Keep looking for it in your computer.” He actually believes to know what I have better than myself.

1.2 He and my office mate had been trying but failing to figure out a bug in a paper for more than a month. Finally my office mate figured it out and sent him an email, when he came to the office complaining like, “How did you do it? How can you figure it out but I can’t..'”

2.1 To Work with a funny ego is fun especially for a small ego like me. He and I were trying to meet a deadline the other day when he believed there was a bug in my code and asked me to debug it. At the very first moment, I told him, “I am pretty confident about my code and there is probably no bug in my codes.” But he insisted on his opinion and asked me to debug it.
What’s more, he was actually trying to comfort me by saying, “Mingwu, don’t worry. You are doing a super good job here. It is not a shame to have bugs in your codes. It is only a shame if you are unable to debug it…”

2.2 I had no choice but tried to debug the no bugs, a few days after which as expected I failed. So I worked to prove no bugs in my codes and show the evidence to him who also as expected refused to vote for it by pointing out some unexplainable things and claiming no convincing evidence had been found. To settle this disagreement, finally an office mate was asked to write the codes all over again and in the end get the same results as mine.
My office mate showed the result to him who desperately asked, “Did you use Mingwu’s codes?” “No.” “Did you check your codes with other data?” obviously he didn’t wanna give up so easily. Again the answer was “No.” “Then check EVERYTHING!” finally he found the way to make himself look a little bit better.

2.3 Sometimes, he asked me to do something which I believed didn’t make much sense, so I didn’t do it but tried something else. The other day he talked to me like, “Mingwu, I felt like sometimes you don’t listen to me and can’t follow my words well. You know to follow my advice is the shortcut to get your PhD done.” I agreed with him, “Yes, you are right, professor. But I have been unwilling to totally follow teachers’ words since elementary schools.” “But I am not your teacher. I am your boss!”

2.4 Around one month ago, he and I were trying to explain the better performance of my algorithm. The next day, I sent him an email with four sentences to describe the superiority of my algorithm. He showed up in the office during the afternoon and complemented me furiously like “Mingwu, I can’t believe your written English is so good. You know I am the only one to take care of all the group’s papers in the end since 2002. Finally there is someone like you to help me.” “Please quit saying that,” I pretended to be unreasonably humble, “I only scored full marks in the writing session of TOEFL. That’s nothing to be proud about…”

2.5 Whenever he couldn’t figure out some questions, he would say “Let me sleep on it,” before leaving for home. A couple of weeks ago before a weekend, he and I were working on such a question when he encouraged me by saying “Mingwu, let’s sleep on it for the weekend.”
So I worked my ass off during that weekend and figured it out. The next Monday he asked me, “Mingwu, did you sleep on it?” “Yes, I did,” I replied,” I did not only sleep on it, I also sat on it for the whole weekend.”

2.6 The other day my office mate showed something interesting to him who became extremely excited and complemented like, “Guanqun, I think you are a wonder. That’s the best comment I can make to my students.” “No, that’s not,” I tried to remind him, “you can remove ‘I think’. You know sometimes when people said ‘I think’, they don’t really think so…”

2011.3.20 Squirrel smelled my hand

Posted by gaomingwu on March 20, 2011
Posted in: Uncategorized. 9 Comments

Squirrel smelled my hand, but I am not a nut……

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2011.3.7 Squirrel’s Robbery 松鼠大盗

Posted by gaomingwu on March 7, 2011
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2011.3.6

Posted by gaomingwu on March 6, 2011
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1. I took an onsite interview for a marketing position of Honeywell at Minneapolis during jobhunting last year. I was scheduled to meet seven people during the whole morning, among whom the last one was the hiring manager asking me which name I would like people to call me, Barton or Mingwu thanks to the English name I listed on my resume.

I thought about it and told them the truth:”Err…, whatever, you can call me asshole if you like…”

2. My friends and I hit the gym to play basketball yesterday but were told the gym was occupied by High School Basketball League Games. The administrator smiled at us:” Guys, no basketball today. But you can play chess here if you like…”

3. I am looking for a pair of dumbbells on the internet and received a number of replies asking whether I am interested in 5 lbs’ dumbbells… I told them no, but thanks. I preferred to work on my arms with two dozens of eggs instead.

4. My boss decided to get everybody in the office a new computer of 8 CPUs. We were all excited. Totally out of curiocity, I scrutinized the description of that computer carefully on internet, which turned out to claim “This computer can provide high performance for the most demanding entertainment needs…”

5. Even though my boss decided to buy each of us a new computer, he would not buy us a new monitor while using a 30″ monitor himself. I pretended to get totally pissed off by talking to my office mates like:”If I become weathly someday, I would buy two 30″ monitors, keep one and smash one!!”(笑话的原形是:等俺有钱了,吃油条,喝豆浆;豆浆买两碗,喝一碗,倒一碗!)。

(Those who have no idea why I am writing this, please hit here)

2011.2.25

Posted by gaomingwu on February 25, 2011
Posted in: Uncategorized. 4 Comments

办公室有两个中国哥们,都tmd非常逗,办公室里每天非常欢乐。

1. 一个哥们也是沈阳人,我和他经常可以引用一些笑话调侃,说起话来咣咣地有共鸣。

他竟然也可以随意引用老罗的段子,而且配合着场景栩栩如生,把我搞得风流涕趟,竟然tmd遇到知己。
他这两天引用的段子分别是
a. 夸我最近的一些科研进展:”-老高,你太tmd牛了。-快别这么说了,我只是站在巨人的肩膀上”
b. 挑侃另一哥们的感情问题(关于离婚的段子):“-啊呀,没破裂,再回去想想。-你tmd还让不让人离婚了.”
办公室里有关于老罗的知已,实在是tmd幸运勒。莫愁前途无知己啊。
2.

a. 办公室另一个哥们也非常逗,每天听一遍国民党军歌鼓舞士气,出去吃饭还会不经意的哼唱.
b. 他之前还总用口头语,”Oh, shit”..我和他说,快别这么用了,难道你不知道这个笑话吗?结果他知道了之后用这个口头语的次数却越加的频繁。
c. 他还总给我介绍他女朋友的闺蜜们给我做女朋友。我一开始说愿意,他就威胁我说人家小姑娘纯情,你如果不想负责就别下手(尻,难道还有比我纯情的么)。于是 我就说不愿意,他就还总契而不舍的向我介绍各种姑娘。我就很奇怪为啥他这么热衷向我介绍,直到前天,办公室没人,他默默的感慨:“唉,要是你愿意的话,我 就能和你share汽油费勒”…

(不知道我为什么写这个的朋友请猛击这里)

2011.1.28

Posted by gaomingwu on January 28, 2011
Posted in: Uncategorized. 4 Comments

In my sophomore year of senior high, we were required to recite one poem by Mr. Wang, the Chinese teacher who claimed to check us randomly on the following day. Because of my self-consciousness since childhood, I began to memorize a number of poems and read many other books in order to impress people sometime to gain the sense of security before hitting puberty. Therefore I memorized that poem even when I was in my second year of junior high.

The following day, thanks to my innocent hint, Mr. Wang “randomly” chose me to check the assignment he gave the last day. So I recited that poem smoothly in front of my class. Excited by the respect I showed for his assignment, Mr. Wang asked me,” Mingwu, how many hours did you spend yesterday to memorize that poem?” trying to encourage people to memorize that poem by indicating how little amount of time called for to complete his assignment.

I thought it over and told him the truth,”Three years, Mr. Wang.”

(Those who have no idea why I am writing this, please click here)

(Chinese)
高二的时候,语文课学徐志摩的那个《再别康桥》。王国权老师声色俱厉地要求大家背诵,声称第二天上课抽查。我因为从小骨子里有一种自卑感,喜欢背一些名人警句,名诗骚赋,看些《十万个为什么》,以便在不经意间向人们展示自己的一点狗p才华,获得一点可卑的安全感,所以初二的时候就把《再别康桥》背了。

第二天上课,在我的暗示下,王国权主动抽查了我,我于是很蛋定地把《再别康桥》背了一遍。王国权很兴奋,为了暗示同学们并不需要多少时间来背这首诗,亲切地问:“高明武,告诉大家,你用了多长时间把这首诗背下来的”,眼里充盈着一些晶莹的小东西。我想了想,无辜地望着王国权说了实话:“王老师,我用了三年.”

2011.1.23

Posted by gaomingwu on January 23, 2011
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In my senior high, having lunch at the only cafeteria is a huge problem thanks to all classes dismissed at the same time. People tended to rush desperately to the cafeteria in order to avoid spending 20 minutes in line or missing their favorite food.

Senior students’ classrooms are located in Senior Student Building with restrooms’ windows facing the cafeteria. Some classrooms were located at the end of the corridor, so people from those classrooms were significantly slowed down by students from classrooms in a better location. They were not happy about it. So they found their way to the cafeteria by jumping off restrooms’ windows to skip the traffic. The dean claimed to prohibit this shortcut many times, but people kept doing it.

One day, after class dismissed, people jumped off restrooms’ windows for cafeteria as usual. Just upon setting their feet on the ground outside the building, they found the dean smiling at them around 5 meters away. They were totally embarrassed and had nothing to do. So they climbed back to the restroom through the window…

(Those who have no idea why I am writing this, please click here)

(Chinese)

高 中的时候,中午吃饭排队是个老大的问题,中午下课铃一响,大家都会以迅雷不及掩耳盗铃响叮当人不让之势向食堂奔去,以避免排队20分钟或发现鱼香茄子,土 豆牛肉等食堂名菜被人抢光。高三的学生会被学校照顾,安排在离食堂非常近的高三楼。尽管如此,高三学生内部的竞争也搞得跑步去吃饭是个弥漫在我们心中无法 抹去的痛。

高三楼一共有三层,每层四个班,每层男女洗手间各一个,洗手间的窗户正对着食堂。那时四班因为地处在走廊的尽 头,他们每天冲向食堂的队伍都会被地理位置更好的比如我们三班严重的延缓,就非常之郁闷。于是四班的男生开发了从洗手间的窗户跳出高三楼,绕过人流直奔食 堂的截径。年级主任杜德林对此非常不开心,多次在年级大会禁止这种跳厕所窗户的行为,但屡禁不止。

一天中午下课,四班的韩书男,王优黎等几个哥们为了迅猛地吃饭,又直接从洗手间的窗户跳了出去。刚落地,突然发现年级主任站窗口五米远的地方慈祥地望着他们。

哥们儿们慌了,不知如何是好,于是就又从楼外面爬窗户跳回了洗手间…

2011.1.13

Posted by gaomingwu on January 14, 2011
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初中的时候有个哥们叫殷东月,有个女生叫毛东月。那时初一,代数正在学合并同类项,就是将一个类似于2xy+6w+8xy的多项式里的同类项xy的系数相加,得到10xy+6w之类。于是热爱数学的男生们就经常在课后这样讨论一个数学难题:
美凌煞有介事地问:“帮我算这个题。将殷东月和毛东月合并同类项后,结果是啥?”
小蔺闭着眼睛晃了晃脑袋:“恩,这个题目有些难度,让我想想。我注意到‘殷东月’和‘毛东月’有一个同类项‘东月’,如果将‘东月’提出来并将它们的系数‘殷’和‘毛’相加,我们就得到结果….”

(Those who have no idea why I am writing this, please click here)

2010.1.11

Posted by gaomingwu on January 11, 2011
Posted in: Uncategorized. 2 Comments

This is my personal favorite of 2010:
I was trying to sublease a room from someone named Ryan and got a little bit surprised by Ryan’s looking. So I asked curiously, “Ryan sounds like a boy’s name”.
Ryan told me calmly,”Oh, I used to be a boy…”

(Those who have no idea why I am writing this, please click here)

这个是我个人2010年的最爱:
有一天找房子,想转租一个叫Ryan的人的屋子。约好了时间去看房子,见了Ryan后感觉很奇怪,就问:”Ryan sounds like a boy’s name”. Ryan幽幽地告诉我:“Oh, I used to be a boy…”

2010.1.5

Posted by gaomingwu on January 5, 2011
Posted in: Uncategorized. 1 Comment

In my freshman year of college, I took the English course given by Ms. Yirong Ma, a female lecturer of her 40s. One day she showed us the photos of her college life, when I couldn’t help being impressed by keeping saying, “Oh, youth Yirong Ma. Oh, youth Yirong Ma…” Ms. Ma overheard it and attempted to stop me in a graceful manner by asking “Mingwu, how do you like these photos?” I had no choice but made my ultimate flatterer move, “Ms. Ma, frankly speaking, I think you are looking much younger now…”

(Those who have no idea why I am writing this, please click here)

(Chinese)

大一英语课,老师马以容是个40多岁很受学生喜欢的女老师。有一次她给大家看她在本科上学时的照片,我在底下不停地感慨:“啊,少年马以容。啊,少 年马以容”。结果感慨的声音过大,被马老师听到了,为了很得体地制止我,她就用英语问我:“Mingwu, how do like these photos?” 我就很无辜地使用了马屁无形断魂散:“Ms. Ma, frankly speaking, I think you are looking much younger now…”

2011.1.3

Posted by gaomingwu on January 3, 2011
Posted in: Uncategorized. Leave a comment

I felt hungry around lunch time one day and bought a canned food which looks like luncheon meat at CVS. After opening it at home, I found it taste really yucky after serval bites. But still it would be a waste if I throw it away directly. So I put it into the fridge.
The next day, Rex sent me a message asking, “Dude, why do you keep dog food in the fridge?”

For those who don’t know why I writing this, please click here.

(Chinese)

有一天中午饿了,就跑到旁边的杂货店买了一个看起来像午餐肉一样的罐头。回家打开后发现不是特别好吃,吃了几口就吃不下去了。扔了又觉得可惜,就把它放进冰箱里。
第二天室友发来短信质问我:“哥们,你把狗食放在冰箱里干什么?”

不知道我为什么写这个的同学,请猛击这里

2011.1.1 New Year’s plan: to share joy with others

Posted by gaomingwu on January 1, 2011
Posted in: Uncategorized. 6 Comments

Hi folks,

This is Mingwu Gao or Barton if I misled you by any chance sometime in the past. Happy New Year to all of you.

I have been feeling blessed to spend my life with you guys in the past more than 26 years. So many hilarious, memorable, funny, embarrassing or even unreasonable stories, jokes or moments have been tasted or experienced, which would be a shame if I am the only one to enjoy the memories before falling into sleep every day.

So I am thinking about starting a small project in 2011 by recalling one enjoyable piece of fun, which could be anything, every day or every few days. I will update it in my account of Xiaonei, Facebook as well as Blog of WordPress and also send it to you by email taking it into fact that someone did not even give a shit to the above social networks tools.

Most of words would be put in both English and Chinese thanks to the diversity of my friends. But some shall be put in Chinese only or English only due to the funniness and joy incubated in the manipulation of language itself.

Those memories were or are happening in my junior high, senior high, college, graduate school or even present. Some of you probably will appear as the hero or heroine in my story. I will make it anonymous or not anonymous based on my common sense and value towards the situation.

There are my family and friends on this emailing list. But still, if you don’t feel comfortable receiving this email, please feel free to let me know. That is quite OK, because I am happy if you are happy.

You don’t have to reply the emails. The idea is to spread the joy.

I put three pieces of fun I have been working on these two days in the following. Hopefully you guys can enjoy it and start this exciting journey with me.

Again, Happy New Year!

Yours, joyful

Mingwu Gao or Barton

#####################
2011.1.1
(English)
I was in the annual nationwide conference of AISEC with hundreds of other college students, which was actually a big party of three days. In the beginning, the president encouraged people to have fun and interact with others ASAP by saying:
“Every body should stay out of your comfort zone. If you feel comfortable in this conference, something is wrong with you.”
Immediately a male student stood up and asked loudly,
“So.. Is it OK for me to make others uncomfortable?”
(Chinese)
有次参加AISEC在美国的年会,有大概二三百学生参加,实际上就是个持续三天的大型party.
会议刚开始,主持人鼓励大家玩得开心,多与别人交流,说.
“Every body should stay out of your comfort zone. If you feel comfortable in this conference, something is wrong with you.”
这时候一个男生突然站起来,厉声问道,
“So.. Is it OK for me to make others uncomfortable?”
#####################
2010.12.31
(Chinese Only)
为什么每天想屎的心都有…
#####################
2010.12.30
(English)
Yesterday one friend came to my bedroom, found my blanket and totally got impressed by saying,
“Your blanket looks so cute.My grandma loves Snoopy…”
(Chinese)
昨晚某同学到我房间视查看到床单,感叹到“Your blanket looks so cute. My grandma loves Snoopy…”

2010.12.31

Posted by gaomingwu on December 31, 2010
Posted in: Uncategorized. Leave a comment

为什么每天想屎的心都有..

2010.12.30

Posted by gaomingwu on December 30, 2010
Posted in: Uncategorized. Leave a comment

昨晚某同学到我房间视查看到床单,感叹到“Your blanket looks so cute. My grandma loves Snoopy…”

探望产妇刘思祈同学

Posted by gaomingwu on May 9, 2010
Posted in: Uncategorized. Leave a comment
昨天千里迢迢去去探望产妇刘思祈同学和刘思祈的老妈及孩子。刘思祈老妈给我做了很多好吃的,吃得非常high。回忆起本科假期回沈阳在她家打麻将的场景,还挺逗的。最近还是不爱说话,觉得语言这东西与行动比起来,实在是太无力了。
不过有一件事情我算是想清楚勒,就是虽然现在还不知道我的人生目的是什么,但我知道自己决不会以名利作为我的人生目的。想到这点,对很多事情就特别的释怀。忍不住地想赞美自己一下。
 

我叉!小鸟出生了!!!

Posted by gaomingwu on April 25, 2010
Posted in: Uncategorized. 3 Comments
今天把老鸟赶走,发现小鸟已经出生了!!!!给小鸟搞了几张百日照。鸡冻!不知道偶在说啥的朋友请点击这
里
。 

最近还是不愿意和人说话,觉得语言特别乏力。诡异..

 

几张有趣的图

Posted by gaomingwu on April 23, 2010
Posted in: Uncategorized. 12 Comments
最近不怎么太爱说话,贴几张最近照的有意思的照片吧。
********************************
//对摄影技术一窍不通的人黯然飘过..

两周前做实验的时候发现实验设备的后面有个鸟巢,里面有个正在孵宝宝的鸟妈妈。

谁能解释一下鸟蛋为什么是绿色的吗?
目前为止的最佳解释是:鸟妈妈是基督徒,前几天过Easter就把蛋蛋给染成彩色的勒.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Fuck,其它的照片上传不来勒,是最近诸事不顺的真实写照,大家点这里吧。 

我想暗恋了

Posted by gaomingwu on March 19, 2010
Posted in: Uncategorized. 2 Comments
最近想申请自己的专利,觉得可能会很有一些搞头。像我这种性格上比较容易走极端的后果就是经常会比较情绪化的极度乐观或是不合时宜地极度悲观。最近的情况看来应该是处在极度乐观的状态,不停的在还没确定想法可不可能申请专利的情况下就海阔天空的幻想what’s gonna happen if this idea is patentable。不过已经做好准备,随时接受这个想法无法申请专利的恶耗。很努力地做事,昨天用google查专利过猛,被google的专利搜索当成机器人封了ip,并致以以下提示,括弧,不知道为什么上面还是2009 Google,括弧完聊。仿佛当年主id和马甲在88上全站停p三个月般抑郁。

最爱春天的味道了,淡淡的,默默的,充满一切可能,一股幽幽的小风袭来,提醒我生活竟然可以有如此美好。想起樊华同学高中作文里提到的阳光的味道,奚虚不已。春天的味道,阳光的味道,我老妈的味道,未来老婆的味道,算是我人生的终极享受吧。 

前几天跑到学校的图书馆去看书,校园里的一切都仿佛是春天的味道,淡淡的,默默的。坐在小小的角落里,遥望着对面桌的女生,想象着在这张恬静的面庞下究会隐藏多少的故事。就开始非常非常怀念曾经的学校的日子,怀念坐在教室后面默默地望着暗恋的女生。偶尔在食堂或某处遇到很cool地点点头,然后就开始后悔没有多搭讪说几句话。那天和汪鑫吃饭时还说,估计这是浙大猥琐闷骚男的典型症状吧。

春天来了,我也开始筹划今年在Gao’s Garden里种些什么东东。去年的这个时候一家美国人offer我在他们家的院子里开垦一块菜地,命名为Gao’s Garden。还帮我一起种了西红杮,黄瓜和小的哈密瓜,我每周去他家一次,浇水并且收获。原因是我和他们提起自己很怀念小时院子里种牵牛花的事迹,他们就想让我重新找到童年的回忆。结果去年Gao’s Garden收成特别的好,西红杮和黄瓜新鲜得不了,好吃的不得了,仿佛沈阳的西红杮,沈阳的黄瓜,再括弧,bs一下杭州的西红杮,再括弧完聊。美国人民真善良。

最近还看了本挺好的书《Outliers-story of success》,Rex推荐的,还有这本书的两本姊妹篇,都很好看。Rex还推荐我看Harry Potter,其实本来是挺没兴趣的,不过想了想,觉得也不排除今年年底前心血来潮,把1到7都看完的可能。前几天Rex去合唱表演,我和他老爸老妈一起去看。之后他老爸老妈说我很听话,奖励给我一个icecream……很开心,自己上一次被别人宠爱估计已经是上一世纪90年代末的事情勒。

我觉得自己是一个伪基督徒

Posted by gaomingwu on February 13, 2010
Posted in: Uncategorized. 9 Comments
最近烦心的事情其实不多,但伤脑筋的问题却是不少,比如搞不明白在校内上询问号称体重刚好达标的豆子姐姐其体重达标标准是多少被回复“嘘”后,自己是应该撒尿还是保密;比如搞不明白老板为什么非常热衷于教我一个中国讲一口有浓重日本口音的美国话,并且逼我剪巨短无比的头发并且号称不剪不专业,不剪做不了生意; 比如搞不明白自己做人是应该高调一些还是低调不止;比如搞不明白mutualism和individualism,efficiency和robustness这两个代表东方和西方文化,共产主义和资本主义的疑似价值观究竟哪个更好;再比如为什么中国男足竟然可以靠80%以上我都叫不出来名字的队员3:0把羸了韩国;还比如搞不明白为什么美国这个把个人利益和权利放得如此到高无上的国家也可以涌现出《兄弟连》里黄继光董存瑞般的纯爷们;更想不明白的是Friends里的Ross为什么会仿佛当年宋丹丹以一个喜剧演员的身份在《十面埋伏》演肃穆无比的角色而效果出其的诡异般出现在《兄弟连》中.更搞不明白的事情是最近还开始怀疑自己是个伪基督徒,原因主要是觉得与其说自己是个Christian,相信Jesus Christ,不如说自己是个Fatalist和Creationist。我没有保留地相信宿命论;有保留地相信神创论,在无法确认神创论和进化论究竟哪个是对的情况下,我选择神创论,因为它比进化论可以解释很多诡异的现象,对于我来说它有更大的概率是正确的。但仅此而已,自己对圣经和基督教理解,信仰和价值观的认识让自己觉得我其实就觉得自己是个伪基督教徒,每每和虔诚的基督徒在一起的时候就很不好意思,觉得自己滥竽充数 and is not there yet。每和一位非教徒朋友提到自己是基督徒时都要及时补充下说自己不是特别虔诚的基督徒,以免玷污基督徒在大家心目中的形象。前几天才斗着胆子把自己心中的内咎告诉几个基督教朋友,他们安慰我说那只是我成长的烦恼。不知道勒,反正觉得自己不配做一个基督徒。

自己最近居然非常enjoy每周二的晚上和室友窝在沙发上看最后一季的Lost。情节依旧诡异不止,Rex总是惊悚的望着我问What’s going on, Barton? What’s going on。和Rex做了7个多月室友,还是非常庆幸having him as my roomie的。他今年五月要去中国西藏,08年的时候还去中国看了奥运会,我就很愤恨地说:”Since I came to The United States, you can go to China twice, I can’t even go to China once!”(此句型其实来自当年查尔斯王子再婚时,还未能合法结婚的gay们的抗议标语:Charles can marry twice, but gays can’t marry once!) 前几天天朝男足大胜,自己买了条大鱼庆祝,Rex看到我做一整条鱼的时候就非常地局促,我问他要不要吃,他飞快地跑开说”No, I am good”. 但我饭后还是善解人意地在提醒他Don’t touch my fish in the freezer.

最后讲一段感动的事情,去年冬天刚到,早晨车上会被盖上厚厚的一层霜,我都是极土的用袖子奋力的擦掉。过了几天早上邻居Nancy在说要送我一个礼物,居然是个scraper,说之前看我用袖子擦霜太不专业了,给我配个好的装备。现在想想还是很感动,比前几天tmd骗我修车的美国人好多勒。

最后给看到这里的筒子们拜个年,祝大家新的一年一切幸福顺利,天天快乐,偶去饭饭撩~~~

安全感|好人卡|我设计的一个条件反射实验

Posted by gaomingwu on January 16, 2010
Posted in: Uncategorized. 4 Comments
自己是一个非常没有安全感的人,需要不停的奔跑,不停地做些让自己feel good about myself的事情来换取内心的片刻的平静,以此可以在行为学上解释很多我诡异的举动和心理。比如说特别喜欢雨,原因就是下雨的时候可以打伞在雨中散步或躲在房间里感受到被呵护的温存;比如很难完全不拉进度条地在电脑上看完一部电影,原因是觉得如果不把无趣的拖拉地情节跳过就是在浪费时间;比如不是很擅长或者不喜欢进行白开水般的对话,因为觉得是浪费生命而不像很多美国人觉得人与人之间的互相关心才是生活的真谛;比如周末或晚上回家如果不干什么对未来有帮助的事情就十分内咎;比如和《蜗居》里海萍一样极其不健康在不停地和别人比较中生活,用自己的努力或所谓地奋斗掩盖内心的自卑。

本来觉得自己近一年来已经变成异常地蛋腚,没想到的最近的小事又把自己的丑恶嘴脸揭露。原因自己最近在买彩票并且不知道为什么最近5期连续中了很多次最低等奖,是随机中最低等奖的概率的3倍左右。听起来很荣光,自己也觉得自己有那么点本事,但事实是就算像我一样把中最低等奖的概率提高3倍,我仍然没有在赢钱,原因是最低等奖金并不是随机中奖率的倒数。但自己觉得感觉很不错,每次中奖后都短信给室友说又中了,又中了。最初室友还很nice地回个短信庆祝我一下,但后来知道就算中了奖还在输钱实在是没什么庆祝的必要并且不太理解既然在输钱为何还这么兴奋并且觉得继续用自己的算法买彩票是有意义的事情。想想自己只不过很享受比别人有更高的中奖率,有无以复加的优越感罢勒。

前几天龚菲结婚,饭桌上听到一个很有趣的词,叫“好人卡”,是来衡量猥琐男猥琐程度的物理量。比如说如果一个男生向女生表白后被女生婉转地说“其实你是一个好人”,这个男生就算悲惨地收到勒一张好人卡。类似地还有“朋友卡”,“哥哥卡”。推广地说,还有什么“洗澡卡”和“睡觉卡”发给MSN上由女生发给被不屑搭讪的猥琐男们。随后几天采访了几个男性和女性朋友,问他们都收过和发过什么样的卡,大家的生活状态可以被这种小小的卡片量化出来,觉得还挺有趣,搞得我这几天睡觉前都可以想着它微笑地进入梦田。

另外在龚菲婚礼上还领略了结婚证,想想这么一张小小纸片可以把两个本来毫不相干的人锁上一辈子,觉得其实挺诡异的,在人类伦理和契约的面前,总是觉得自己过于的渺小。

上周六汪鑫过生日,我给在场的大家讲了我之前和汪鑫做室友用他设计并成功实施的条件反射实验—-我觉得我17年的学生生涯,只有两个成果算是对人类的科学做出了贡献,一个是发明了一个物理量“高”(click here for details),一个就是这个条件反射实验勒。当时实验的过程是这样的,那时每天晚上汪鑫都背对着他的房门在QQ上聊天,我每次去冰箱里取东西吃的时候都要用手指戳他的后背,说你怎么又和女生聊天勒,他就回头向我抱怨说不要戳他;但我还是这样戳了一周。第二周我就先站在门口不戳他,但他以为我要戳他,就回头瞅着我,见我没有要戳他的意思,他就扭回头继续和聊天,我这时才狠狠地戳他几下,他于是又回头说不要戳他;但我还是这样戳了他一周。第三周汪鑫的条件反射就已经建立起来了,只要我一站在他的门口,他就不停的回头瞅我,但又放不下QQ上聊天,有时在电脑上猛打几个字就又猛地回头盯着我,以此往复,非常的有趣。

大家如果有兴趣的话可以用自己的室友或男朋友或女朋友做做这个实验,非常的好用和有趣..

在美国27个月小结

Posted by gaomingwu on December 31, 2009
Posted in: Uncategorized. 2 Comments
新年勒,之前的大妈买菜车实在是开不动了,每个月付的修车钱已经可以贷款买车,就换了个新的二手车,开得很开心并且很感慨的,来美国2年零3个月,经历了很多的波澜,觉得实在有必要小小的总结一下。

大事记(基本按时间排序)
1.认识了我最好的美国朋友Mike,和他成了忘年交,
2.认识了fly, 铭铭和小佛,并且一起去West Virgina漂流,很有趣
3.加入了美国的AIESEC,非常enjoy美国的校园生活.
4.和实验室里的中国人彭韬、周宜俊,赵晶,小川和汪峰经常一起混,向他们学到很多。
5.去St Louis开AIESEC美国的年会。第一次在美国男生要求下配合他夹住女生跳单层Sandwich舞和双层Sandwich舞. 第一次向在台上光膀子主持节目的男人裤子里面仿佛塞给stipper一样塞一块钱的纸币。
6.上统计的课程,计划两年内拿统计和EE两个硕士(毕业的时候没拿到统计硕士,但统计的学分比EE的学分都多…),然后转去学金融(未遂)
7.和fly,铭铭,小佛去WashingtonDC看樱花
8.因为中了一篇经济学的小论文,免费去瑞士参加有小达沃斯论坛之称的St Gallen会议。见到了瑞士和奥地利总统等商政牛人。
9.参加并且通过了CFA (Charted Finance Associate) 一级
10.去San Diego开电磁波和天线的一个年会
11.找工作被San Diego的两个Bekerley毕业的中国人给了口头offer又收回
12.在家里抑郁,骚扰了所有能骚扰的人 and at least twice…已经要拿硕士毕业,经济危机,找不到工作,有OPT期间不超过3个月失业期的巨大压力
13.找到volunteer的工作,暂时解决身份问题
14.每天晚上去餐馆打工3小时,被付可能比美国最低工资还低的工钱,被偷渡过来的人因为关系很好可以随意开玩笑说是留学垃圾,白天顶着压力找工作。
15.有连续15天早晨6点半出家门给一个工厂干体力活到下午5点,然后去餐馆打工,晚上9点回到家
16.遇到现在的老板,算是有工作,几个月内出差N次,见到了各种各样的美国人,学到非常多的关于公司及在美国做生意的事情。
17.搬了新家,和两个很有意思的美国人做室友,关系很好,每周日晚上一起去吃饭。
18.became Christian
19.开始小小的研究彩票,用自己也觉得不对的算法去买彩票,买了70块钱彩票,中了10块钱,比随机概率还低。但自己也很开心,算是人生第一次中彩票
19.和老板研发了可能是世界上最节能的水泵,申请专利中(希望前人没有类似的专利,并且我们的专利可以申请下来)
20.圣诞节去Providence和Boston玩,与汪婧婧、周雪和陈沛hang out,大家玩得非常开心

总结
1.觉得我活得很精彩.
2.觉得我很幸运
3.感情生活完全没有进展
-我就觉得很奇怪,我可以有很多闺密,并且是很多女生的闺密,就是完全对找女朋友这种技术活完全不得要领.
4.对现在的工作充满激情
5.非常enjoy我周围的一切,可以享受每一天。

2010年计划
1.把水泵专利申请出去。不想把话说得太大,但如果一切顺利的话老板和我希望去找美国海军,去设计潜艇推动设备,减少尾部噪声,减少被敌人发现的概率
2.希望能找到女朋友吧,虽然没抱太大希望
3.改进彩票算法,每天坚持买点。不为暴富,只为娱乐
4.除了工作外有自己的创业项目,注册一个公司
5.把现有的一个政治经济学的想法写成文章,至少投到Wall Street Journal或者New York Times
6.把每期的TIME杂志认真看掉,follow世界和美国的重要动态,并且知道用英语怎么说
7.坚持打乒乓球,每周健身两次
8.每天坚持用面霜,眼霜
9.每周至少四天晚上坐下来和美国人聊天,为2011年能像Native Speaker一样说英语努力
10.至少认真读10本和技术没有关系的书

和老板研发出可能是世界上最节能的水泵

Posted by gaomingwu on December 11, 2009
Posted in: Uncategorized. 8 Comments
几周前佛罗里达政府部门里有人打电话到公司说要给那边的某水族馆找节能的水泵。他们现在用的是两台5马力的水泵,每分钟每台能泵225加仑的水泵。他们现在找到的最节能的水泵是一台2马力每分泵600加仑的水泵。最近我和老板研发出一种可能是世界上最节能的水泵(我们现在还没发现有比它更节能的),2马力电能可以泵1000加仑每分钟的水,比那个人找到的最好的水泵的效率高一半还多。周六老板和我要带着新研发的水泵去南卡和佛罗里达见几个客户,开始推广这个节能水泵,老板和我都很激动。

其实我觉得我们公司的水泵技术超级牛的。之前有个马里兰的人说要把水在300个大水罐中来回泵,我们给他报个价钱,300个我们现有的某水泵,比他当时得到的最低报价低1/4,此外和另一水泵比起来我们的水泵更节能,寿命长,不需保养。其实我们还有一种技术,只需要10个以下的水泵,就可以把水在300个水罐中转移。但老板和我故意没有把这个新技术告诉他,因为那样我们卖的水泵数量就会大大减少,反正现在市场上也没竞争对手,就好比当年布博卡连续好像打破了19次男子撑高跳的世界纪录,每次只多跳一厘米,虽然第一次的时候他就可以将世界纪录提高10多厘米。原因是他没有其它对手,另外每打破一次世界纪录,国际田联会给10万美元的奖金。

公司的水泵技术虽好,但事实是很多好的技术和水泵我和老板没有精力去卖,都窝在公司的车间里。此外为了避免不必要的误会,澄清下,公司现在虽然包括我只有两个人,我现在还没有任何公司股份,工资也特别低,希望大家不要误会。

另外最近不顺利的事情是,花了两周去对某彩票的历史数据进行处理和分析,本来以为找到了比随机概率高很多倍的算法,结果按算法买了一期,连个p也没中上。

老板发短信夸我是公司的财富~

Posted by gaomingwu on November 16, 2009
Posted in: Uncategorized. 2 Comments
My boss sent me a short message this morning, saying he just finished the conversation with his father in Japan and both of them believed I am a nice asset of the company. No kidding…

(Here is the citation: "…I communicated with my father this morning. We had a lot to talk. One of the topics is you. Both of us admitted you are a nice asset of our company now. Let’s work harder together from tomorrow.")

This made me really really excited. Due to his two kids in college and wife staying at home without working, I got paid miserably, but I enjoyed the partnership with him, and a lot. We built up the trust with each other; our expertise complements with each other; we are both workaholics; we shared similar way of thinking as an engineer; we both dream really really big. I appreciate this partnership extremely usual to get. I feel really really lucky.

一个月前给公司做了个小小的动画(如上)动画的故事梗概是四条分别叫Geek, Trangle, Squit和 Yellow的小鱼安详地在小池塘里游啊游。突然池塘里的三个我们公司生产的水泵突然开始工作,因为水泵的危力太大,把四条小鱼都栗如抖粟…第一次做大片儿,只投入了做大片儿应该投入的热情和时间,并没有足够的技术让其成为真正的大片,大家见笑。—-上传完小动画才发现space看不了gif的格式,如果大家感兴趣的话可以去公司的网站(www.GeyserPump.com)去看看吧。

自从开始给公司做网站,终于开始有机会学起很多从初中就想学的一些技能并且算是成为入门级的水平,诸如网页,photoshop和动画的制作,觉得很幸运,很有意思。这周二终于和老板把最新版本的网站建设完毕(www.GeyserPump.com),周六中午和老板一起去印度餐馆庆祝。一进门就闻到浓重的印度味。想想觉得很诡异,如果说每个国家都有自己的国旗,国歌,国语,国花或者任何其它东西来象征自己的国家,像印度这样拥有自己国家绝无仅有的代表性气味的国家还真是tmd诡异。

公司网站建成,我和老板终于可以做些真正的marketing和sales。感觉我们公司很诡异,自从我6月下旬加入公司以来,我和老板除了做网页没有做任何努力去卖水泵,只是回复邮件和电话的咨询并且给GE做项目,就已经得到不错数量的订单。现在网站建好勒,我的第一份与marketing和sales相关的工作就是给我们之前的客户和还有联系方式的相关人员发邮件告诉他们公司有新网站啦,老板被GE聘为顾问啦,我们每天在做白日梦啦之类的骚扰邮件。每封邮件至少都把对方的称呼变一下,让他们觉得自己有那么一点特别。周六周日我咣咣咣发了近1000封邮件,发得老板的几个邮件地址报警说超过了这个月可以发邮件数量的限制…只好再新建几个其它邮件地址来发,觉得还有点小小的疯狂。

老板今早发短信说他和他老爸认为我是公司的nice asset,很感动。想想我和他一周除了周日上午工作七天,早8晚5点半,除去睡觉,我和他在一起的时间比他老婆和他在一起的时间都长。能和他建立起信任合谐的关系确实是很幸运的。

最近在看美剧《gossip girl》和《The big bang theory》。看gossip girl主要是给木讷的我搞些和女生的谈资,结果发现自己好像还挺难喜欢这种也许90后的片子,感觉情节不新颖,没什么逻辑性—-或者说对于我来说过于感性;男男女女今天和这个好,明天和那个好,每天不爱劳动不学习的,再加上对白平淡如水—-觉得自己很绝望,并且永远不能了解女生的心理了。但从小箭猪的blog了解到的The big bang theory实在是太逗勒,四个理工科的nerd在一起,用伟大的逻辑和诡辩的思维和幽默已经让我不得不考虑用它替代Friends成为我美剧的最爱。

另外前几天买了两本类似于西方哲学史的书,打算好好研读下,希望以一个基督徒的角度审视一下人类智慧的演变,还是有些小小的激动,但愿可以安心把它们看完。

油漆过敏

Posted by gaomingwu on November 2, 2009
Posted in: Uncategorized. 9 Comments
刘思祈:我怀孕了。
某人:这么好,恭喜恭喜。以后想要几个?
刘思祈:之前想多要几个,但最近怀孕身体实在是太不爽了,就想少要几个。现在只想要3个了。
某人:…
刘思祈:我们家这边还有生十多个的呢。
某人:那是挺牛的,他们一家出门得开bus吧.
                   —-于两周前交通堵塞中与刘思祈的电话记录

两周前下班堵了一小时四十分钟的车,搞得回家之后就想写信给政府应该在高速旁多立几个那种移动的公共洗手间,以防类似的交通堵塞再发生时,不至于搞得大家过于狼狈。好在电话中和几个朋友聊聊天,也算缓解了心中的惆怅。好像朋友中比较大的事情有刘思祈怀孕,国狗投Nature的论文被拒等。觉得大家过得好像都还不错。

前几天给公司的水泵刷油,仿佛过起敏来。周四和老板当天往返新泽西的时候就开始不停地流泪。好在没有影响我开着巨大的van的兴致,咣咣得开。因为途中上坡下坡不断,车又没有Cruise control,期间经常不小心的超过80mile,但很快又慢了下来。当时就觉得势头不太好,问坐我旁边的老板有没有看到我的钱包。老板说在这呢,你要干什么。我说先确定一下驾照还在,如果被警察拦下来的话好让警察看。

结果开着开着后面就tmd跟了个警察,我机警的闪到慢车道,警察超过,我和老板说没被警察抓到,算是今天挣了100多刀的超速费。结果警察在前面突然减速,我也减速,没人想和警察叔叔有亲密的接触。结果警察叔叔大踩刹车,我只好超过他。这tmd警察又超过了我,然后又让我超过他。来回几次,警察叔叔终于在后面闪起了小灯。我tmd这个郁闷,为啥啊,我当时完全没超速。后来警察叔叔说我开车的时候带了耳机,给了口头警告,才明白过来。

老板的老婆最近好像得了病,老板得在家陪老婆,我和他就在自个的家里分头工作。他说他信任我,知道我工作一直很拼。我受宠若惊。但这几天的事实是,油漆过敏的症状愈演愈烈。嘴唇起泡,眼睛哗哗的流泪。做事效率很低。不过也算能经常show给他一些工作成果看,也算混得过去。

Columbus的秋天实在是太美勒,我觉得我渐渐地喜欢上了生活在这里。没有加州和佛州过多的阳光,有足够的雨水滋润我的心灵,四季分明,仿佛沈阳,我很喜欢, which is really weird.

开始用眼霜

Posted by gaomingwu on October 18, 2009
Posted in: Uncategorized. 6 Comments
  • 某人:一瓶眼霜能用多久?
  • Fly: 眼霜估计用3,4个月至少把 我的大概用了半年。
  • 某人:你怎么用了那么长时间呢?因为你眼睛小?   

                                           ----于MSN上购买眼霜前与Fly的技术贴

总觉得在可以预见的未来找到一朵鲜花插在自己的牛粪上是件漂渺得不着边际的事情,倒是很是洒脱。每周除去和四五六十岁的忘年朋友吃饭聊天,就是每个周日晚上与四十岁或者三十三岁单身并且没有任何想找女友想法的两个室友一起吃饭时讨论我们三个人中谁最诡异。倒是蓦然地发现周围的大老爷们儿们眼霜面霜防晒霜咣咣地在用,仿佛上一世纪九十年代末起,自己就已经被大龄适婚并且有希望结婚的男青年远远地抛弃。前一阵子吃饭的时候饭桌上还突然跑出来一个九零后的妹子,搞得我很是有点乱。

于是找到Fly说想用眼霜。Fly说用眼霜的话你也得用面霜。我说,啊,还有这规矩。她说是。我说好,像我这种直到现在洗脸仍然不用洗面奶的人,理论上讲就像仿佛冬天不论多冷,上半身穿了多少衣服,下半身只穿一条牛仔裤的美国人一样,是不能够理解对称与平衡究竟有如何的美丽。

就在Fly的指导下,或者说Fly在可以把大妈大姐送的小样偷偷地留下地指导下,帮我买了一揽子的护肤用料。我也没怎么参与,她说应该买啥就买啥,我完全不懂。买好后自己倒心清气爽起来,仿佛男人的尊严再一次附体,老子也可以护肤保值,并且脑海里不停地浮现60年后自己杨振宁附体,力拔山兮泡小妹子之豪迈。

过了好几天早上才想起来用,面霜还有眼霜。上班地时候不停地瞪大自己很小的眼睛,炯炯地望着老板。可是老板这个笨蛋竟然完全没有反应。我补推了几下眼镜以便给他充够的暗示,可他也并没有及时地询问我那天眼睛为何如此有神。真tmd郁闷。想了想自己25岁就开始用眼霜之诡异,就也原谅了他。

我给公司做的网站,公司介绍及和美国室友一起看阅兵式

Posted by gaomingwu on October 1, 2009
Posted in: Uncategorized. 10 Comments
我给公司做的网站(www.WhoCaresWorld.com)终于可以露面了,先上传到我自己的一个域名下做做测试,也希望大家多提意见。不过说实话我的技术能力十分有限,也不知道自己是否有能力按大家的建议修改,我会尽力。

2个月前自己申请了3个域名:www.WhoCaresWorld.com, http://www.WhoCaresChina.com, http://www.WhoCaresTheWorld.com,希望在自己生活和工作稳定下来之后做一个nonprofit的网站,做一些有意义的事情。现在还没开始做,不过竟也可以用来测试公司的网站,也算没白花钱。

之前有朋友问我现在在干什么,简单点说就是在一个算上我只有2个人的公司工作。公司很小,但很有意思,非常锻炼人,是个做有专利的水泵的公司。 Siemens三年前买了公司的一个水泵,结果在没经过我老板的同意的情况下把它合成到Siemens的一种新的污水处理系统中,比GE的系统高效很多倍。在这个市场上GE占有80%以上的份额,所以GE非常急,找到我老板,要求合作。我们现在的主要工作就是帮GE把我们的产品最高效地融合到他们现有的系统中去,同时和Siemens打官司。但同时我们公司的现金流还是非常有限,付我的工资非常低,我和老板平时最经常讨论的话题就是如何生存到GE开始把我们的产品推向市场并且开始付大笔的专利使用费。

10年之前看阅兵的时候看得我激情澎湃,昨天有幸和老美室友分享了国庆的阅兵。两个室友问我胡core喊的“同志们好”和“同志们辛苦了”用英语怎么说,我翻译不好,只说大概意思是“Hello commrade" and "Your efforts are appreciated"。和铭铭在网上讨论这个问题,他翻译得巨炫无比:
    同志们好->Commrades, you guys are good.
    同志们辛苦了->Commrades, you guys rock.
搞得我膜拜不止.

昨天发生的另一件大事是,我校内的开心农场昨天终于把所有的地都开垦了,用了7个月,虽然从某种意义上讲有些浪费时间,但它keep me busy,并且陪我走过过去这非常值得我回味的生活,贴个照片留念。


我觉得自己实在是个幸运的人

Posted by gaomingwu on September 21, 2009
Posted in: Uncategorized. 8 Comments
我觉得自己实在是个幸运的人,so loved and so blessed。每天过着自己想要的生活,每一天,每个小时,每一分钟都是那么的切意安静。虽然每天都要工作,工资又很低,但是每天都神采亦亦,希望不久的将来公司可以做大,可以幸运的成为公司的副总;公司包括我只有2个人,人际关系简单得不能再简单,再加上和老板关系还不错,几乎没什么事情需要担心,自己每天心静得如水一样;因为工作的原因经常可以遇到很有趣的人和新奇的事情,还有潜在的机会可以做外贸;回家后可以抛开一切烦恼坐在电脑前,上网看片;时不时的和室友或好友吃饭聊天,坐在咖啡厅或bar里坦诚地交流;父母身体健康,心情舒畅,我也无忧无虑,真实地可以用心享受生活中的每一分钟。

有时觉得上帝好像确实爱我比爱别人多一些,自己真是一个幸运的人,希望上帝也可以像爱我一样爱我的家人和朋友.
Thank God for blessing me so much. Please bless my family and friends as much as you bless me. Amen.

I became a Christian

Posted by gaomingwu on September 6, 2009
Posted in: Uncategorized. 8 Comments
I became a Christian last week. A huge deal to me. I treasure this, and a lot. So tired of worrying about my future, tired of being scared and frustrated by unexpected and unacceptable failures in my life. All Christian people I know live a happy and peaceful life. Their personality and life style stay admirable to me. Pretty sure this kind of change can happen on me. Hopefully you guys can share this joy.

Back in China, I despised two things: 1. Everything related to Japan; 2. all kinds of -isms, including Deism, Pantheism, Panentheism and Theism. Ironically a Japanese guy became my boss. What makes it more ironic is we get along well. To exert my efforts to make my life even more dramatic, I became a Christian. Feel like I could predict my future by checking out things that make me disgusted, or control my future by hating things that I truly love.

At least quite peaceful about my life and future now. No idea about what’s gonna happen though. That’s life.

怨妇感

Posted by gaomingwu on August 9, 2009
Posted in: Uncategorized. 4 Comments
老板和所有室友都出门,Rex去Indiana看Opera and Matching Band; David去缅絪去接Michael; 老板去Toronto的GE。这种情况形成的后果就是我一个人守两座空房,强烈的怨妇感猛然袭上心头。

老板的老婆和孩子回日本渡假,他们的house里除了我,还有一条叫Jackie的小狗。除去每天不得不用纸袋拾起她的便便,和Jackie在一起的日子很切意的,比如她会像小学或初中的小p孩,跟在我的后面,不停地踩我的鞋;比如她会在我看书的时候跳上沙发,趴在我的腿上睡觉;再比如我不理她的时候她会趴在房间的角落里寞寞地望着我。

室友不在,我们的house里除了我,并没有一条叫Jackie的小狗,只有R种下的花花草草。每天回家的时候得给他们浇水,滋润。就很奇怪像Rex这样有生活品味的人居然可以不是。好在这个消息应该是可以确认了,因为我前日觉得已经混得比较熟识,就问了他是不是,他脸噗地红了,说不是。

老板回来很高兴,说GE对我们的工作很满意,我下个月也可以和他一起去Toronto。我向他汇报了这几天的工作,他开心地让我提前一个小时回家。时间还早,我就跑到书店里去看书,拿了本英文版的《篮球飞人》,坐在Starbucks的角落里享受光阴的故事。前面不远处一位打扮成淑女样子的美国女学生静谧地看书。我就不停地在后面远远地望着,仿佛回到了初中和高中暗恋的时光。晚上睡觉的时候小学初中高中的场景和人物完全没有逻辑地在梦里不停的闪过。想了想,都tmd一把年纪了,怎么还玩纯情。

daughter fucker

Posted by gaomingwu on August 4, 2009
Posted in: Uncategorized. 8 Comments
前几天在室外做一个6米多高的蓄水池做实验,并蜜蜂蛰了右臂,肿了很多,极其瘙痒,晚上睡觉的时候还经常被痒醒。仿佛四年级的时候也被蜜蜂蛰过一个大胞,同样的位置。胞尤如此,人何以甚。

昨
天和Rex及David出去吃晚饭,在bar里面坦诚地讨论视距范围内的女人,基本可以确定R不是,算是了了我一桩心事。讨论发现David好
像在香港有好多女友,他不停地夸他现任女友如何hot,香港女人如何漂亮什么的,估计已是阅妞无数,也算是从另一个角度了解了外F女们的生活。期间
David气急败坏地说我是mother fucker,我说你tmd才是mother fucker,老子是daughter fucker.

今天和老板又互相重温了各自的辛酸故事,再次觉得他这五十多年生存下来是极其不容易的。我知道这世界上每个人都有一部辛酸的故事,that’s life.

近况 & 在Columbus想参加party的看过来

Posted by gaomingwu on August 1, 2009
Posted in: Uncategorized. 9 Comments
工作了一个多月,搬了新家,我的生活终于恢复了平静。回首这近一年的生活,我庆幸不已,但愿接下来的事情可以一切顺利。

不知道老板是对我满意还是对因为最近公司并没有努力寻找客户的时候接了几个诡异的大单,一周来老板问过我几次诸如为什么自从我加入公司以后,公司的生意突然诡异的好很多之类的问题,我无从回答。我所知道的是福之祸之所倚,开心是好,但还希望今后继续一切顺利。

和GE的项目进展也不错,老板忙其它紧急的项目,我帮不上忙,只能帮他做做GE的实验,写个报告和ppt,老板要下周给GE报告。今天老板把我三天准备的报告改得一无是处,让我中午回家重新再写,明天给他看。还好他通情达理,我从没和他去过Toronto的GE,对这个项目完全没有大局观,不知道报告的目的是什么。下周三他去GE,让我天天溜他家的狗。希望GE能对我的这个报告满意,注意到我的存在,下个月能和老板一起去GE工作。

搬了新家,房东兼室友之一,超级nice,40岁,看起来比我都年轻。帮我搬家的几个哥们看到他偷偷和我说觉得他是,平时没事的时候还向我打听他们的结论有没有得到证实。我感觉他不是,只不过是比较典型的很喜欢享受生活,不喜欢take commitment的美国人而已。没发现有女朋友,但也没发现有男朋友。生活很有品味,楼上楼下到处是蜡烛。每天晚上11点睡觉,早上5:30起床去gym游泳,然后去上班。吃的东西极少。我问过他为什么如此geeky,睡这么少觉,吃这么少饭,他说因为他太老了,不需要。我说你他妈的少和我装mature,你还naive得很.

另一个室友Michael更加geeky,到现在我还没见过面。他是OSU medical center的医生。今年三月停薪留职去hiking,从Georgia出发,目的地緬絪,一路徒步,好像是世界上最长的hiking trail.预计八月份(也就这个月)中旬到达目的地。一个平时在香港工作,现在回哥伦布渡假住在他房间的朋友David去接他。这几天Rex和David和我商量8月22号给回来的Michael开个party,庆祝一下如此geeky的成就,我说好。Rex说得想个theme; David说不如用Micheal Jackson做theme; 我觉得不错,Micheal Jordan其实也可以。大家都觉得有点意思,最近基本同意用Famous Micheal作为这个party的theme。到时候估计大家扮成各种名人Micheal,Micheal Jackson, Miceal Jordan, Micheal Philps,当然,到时一定会有人扮我的那个geeky室友Micheal的。我觉得应该会很有趣。看到此blog并且想8月22号过来一起happy的朋友们联系我好了。

其实我上一个美国室友也很geeky,在OSU呆了5年本科还没拿到,据他说是因为去年春天毕业时有一门课的作业他因为电脑硬盘挂掉而没交上,系里没让他过。他只好再等一年再上那门课毕业。今年春天他本应该入学,但因为欠学校学费太多,不允许注册。十分悲惨。他平时喝酒如命,一天晚上不吃饭,就可以喝掉近1.5升的白酒。去年底的时候还胃出血,但美国这面医生说得很吓人,叫stomach precancer。不过现在算是好了。之前没工作的时候靠在网上打poker挣生活费,也还算诡异。不过觉得他生活真不幸,和他比起来,我的生活真幸福。

生活渐渐平稳了,好多之前应该做的事情都要开始做起来了,比如给王爽寄一张名信片,开始准备养个小狗,前几天陈玉还说要一起合作在taobao和ebay上开个店什么的。不过她最近还要和老板谈转正的问题,希望她一切顺利吧。

摘录

Posted by gaomingwu on June 8, 2009
Posted in: Uncategorized. 4 Comments
“我忽然想起格兰特先生的助手盖里,牛津毕业直接进了UBS,顺利的过了三级,又升等成研究员。我想有的人生来的一切都会比他人更顺利一些。但是我来到这个世界上,也不是为了顺利,为了生活的奢侈和轻易而来。因此经历这些辗转和搓跎,也并没有让我错过什么。”
转自chiann的博客

好消息和坏消息

Posted by gaomingwu on January 7, 2009
Posted in: Uncategorized. 7 Comments
最近有一个好消息和一个坏消息。
好消息是:昨天收到一个邮件说我的简历被某公司的HR forward到hiring manager那勒。
坏消息是:今天就收到那个hiring manager的邮件说这个职位被freeze勒。
 
哈哈,没想到“一个好消息和一个坏消息”这个经典的故事出现在偶身上勒…
 
不过还是觉得牙姐牛,我MSN上说,“牙姐,我给你讲个我最近的一个好消息和一个坏消息。”牙姐很快就警觉起来了,对我说,“那我要先听坏消息…”
 
唉,在牙姐面前,我总是显得那么渺小.

新年快乐

Posted by gaomingwu on December 31, 2008
Posted in: Uncategorized. 9 Comments
2008年对于我来说实在是不平凡的一年,好多的折腾,好多的欢乐和痛苦,大起大落,浮浮沉沉。不过自己实在感到幸运,庆幸自己学到了很多的东西,有了一个全新人生观,上了人生中不可必免的一课。那天自己在路上走着走着居然唱起歌来,把自己也吓了一跳..
 
新的一年和我的未来,我会用我新的人生观和价值观指导自己,成熟起来,享受生活每一天.
 
大家新年快乐~

遇到了狗屎公司,现在真的是欲哭无泪

Posted by gaomingwu on October 31, 2008
Posted in: Uncategorized. 23 Comments
  不知道世界上有人比我还郁闷吗?
  前几天通过一周的面试,做个小项目,得到一个在圣地亚哥华人开的公司的工作的口头offer,对方报了个年薪,我首先答应下来,后来向上讲了讲,但最后还是答应下来了。结果后来对方主动让我考虑几天。
  三天后再打电话过去说不用考虑了,但他们竟说觉得我当时兴趣不大,现在他们要考虑考虑了。
  今天又打电话过去,他们竟然说经济形势不好,这个职位不是特别紧急,他们暂时先不招人了,以后招人的时候再给我打电话。还打了个比方,说就好比你买东西,当时没买下来,过了几天别人就不卖了…
 
  真tmd是狗屎,难道进了社会后就是这个样子了吗?
  
     请有知道国内外各种可能适合我的工作机会的朋友提供各种信息,当面bg以谢。。。

转个tooold的..嘿嘿

Posted by gaomingwu on October 18, 2008
Posted in: Uncategorized. 5 Comments
爱情就像发光二极管,
    不来电不行的,但来电太猛则狂亮一下就再也不亮了。。。
爱情就像布板子,
    有一定原则,你可以不遵守任意发挥,但最后吃亏的是你。。。
爱情就像ARM,
    好象没有什么大不了的,但真要一接触,才发觉不是每个人都玩得起。。。
爱情就像焊贴片电阻,
    要细心,不然某一天出问题了,才发现原来相互之间连接不好,是虚焊。。。
爱情就像mcu的程序,
    长了,总免不了有几个中断。。。
爱情就像做项目,
    如果前一个玩完了,总结经验教训,全身心投入下一个。。。
爱情就像画原理图,
    自己的问题很难自己发现,但是朋友容易帮你指出来。。。
爱情就像咱搞电子的,
    别害怕、别畏惧,不投入,永远是门外汉;
愿你们:
一切的烦恼被二极管截止;
快乐被三极管放大;
生活里的磕磕碰碰被稳压管整流;
一切幸福被爱的芯片集成,被生活的电容储存;
无阻尼振荡伴你一生。

明天开学勒

Posted by gaomingwu on September 23, 2008
Posted in: Uncategorized. 7 Comments
    漫漫长假后,明天终于要开学了。
    昨天有幸免费看了席琳帝翁的演唱会,觉得这妹子实在太有形了,唱功和台风真的了得。
    而且体力真超好,唱了近2个小时还跳来跳去的,居然不喘,真是佩服。
    学小鸡从秀秀那里偷些照片过来~  ^__^

琐记

Posted by gaomingwu on August 14, 2008
Posted in: Uncategorized. 14 Comments
上周末去参加了刘思祈的婚礼,实验中学03届的六个校友毕业五周年的小聚会,看到大家真地很开心,仿佛回到了天真有趣的高中时代,很怀念。那几天晚上大家聊天打扑克,很有趣,讲到当年大家一些闻所未闻的8g事件,更加的怀念。
IMG_4238IMG_4172
当年我所在的03届三班的照片,大家当年纯真地笑容,永远定格在美好的回忆中。
1108930958213
上个月去了趟San Diego,登上了潜艇和航空母舰,激动得要死,我做梦也没想过自己竟然可以登上真正的航母和潜艇,小时候看的那些军事杂志终于派上用场勒。不过值得偶一提的是左下在San Diego港口的照片。里面雕塑的原型是右下的照片,偶觉得大家都应该见过。记得1995年二战胜利50周年的时候,照片里被吻的女人公开寻找在当年那个吻了她的那个水兵。结果有几百个人说那个人是自己。那女人就问他们,让他们说亲吻时他对那个女人说了什么。结果只有一个男人说对勒:他当时什么也没说.哈哈,想想就有趣,偶就好好地和那雕塑照了张像。
这个雕塑的原型照片大家都看过吧1206114
 一个月前发生的另一件比较大的事情是偶的博的点击数超过2万啦,鸣谢众多RSS reader的用户对点击率的贡献~
 untitled
最后给自己和大家加油,大家一定要加油,一定能成功~
若你也有梦,就别让它破灭..


04的学弟们好逗啊

Posted by gaomingwu on July 18, 2008
Posted in: Uncategorized. 3 Comments

   http://player.youku.com/player.php/sid/8394810/v.swf

   从zhb那转过来的,浙大04的学弟还真的挺逗啊…
   后来出现的男主持ms是04强化班的全戈,一年多前和他,小潮,嘉宁,张昕他们一起喝酒并且第一次偿试抽烟但后来无福消受的情景又历历在目。
   其实偶不得不承认偶很感激浙江大学,很感激这四年的校园生活里经历和学到的东西。
   遥祝浙大111年校庆~
 
PS:又把zhb自己做的名词解释也转过来啦~
另外,对于可能对浙大或是其他内容不是很了解的朋友,我做个注:
1. zjg: 是浙大紫金港校区的简称。是2002年落成的一个校区,距离本部玉泉校区有9公里左右的路程。
2. 老和山:是本部玉泉校区背靠的一座小山,相对高度大概200米。
3. 缘网:是浙大内部校网最大的bt站点,上面五花八门汇聚各种资源。
4. 玉泉青芝坞:是在浙大玉泉校区和杭州植物园之间的一个狭长的自然村落,目前已经形成了一个玉泉校区校外吃饭、租房的中心。有菜、水果市场、理发店、饭店,各种设施都很齐全。
5. 葛岭泉:曾经是玉泉校内办公和宿舍区统一供应的桶装纯净水,后来因为被发现菌落指数超标,逐渐被"娃哈哈"等其他品牌替代。
6. 高清无码:恩,这个大家都知道是怎么回事儿,不知道的,搜google吧。。。
7. 求是园:浙大的自称,"求是"是浙大的校训,"求是书院"是浙大的前身。

杂记 & 让我老妈对我的爱普照中华大地

Posted by gaomingwu on July 5, 2008
Posted in: Uncategorized. 6 Comments
自己的日子不好不坏,混混厄厄,每天奔波和平衡于众多的关系和事情之中,仿佛每个关系都很重要,仿佛每件事情都应做好。憧景着美好的明天—-如果明天可以美好的话。连续奋战了几个月,在经历了一切的一切,摆平了该摆平的,没摆平摆不平的,还有一些还不知道有没有摆平的。
经历了这半年来的种种之后,自己很疲倦,哪里也不想去,什么也没心思管,只想呆在家里,安安稳稳地看两天小说。对于所有烦心的事情,尽量把自己和它们割裂开,和自己没关系的事情就随她去吧,也倒每天心安理得平平稳稳。
本来觉得可以过个独立日大周末加几天开会算是度假,这几天还是很巴结讨好地给大老板干活,总算在昨天晚上10:30做出了至少自己觉得还算好的结果发给大老板,大老板今早发来指示说这个结果就是他一年来一直想要的…尽管明显这还只是半成品。这个月底有个几个学校一起搞的项目进展通气会,估计自己在这之前一定还要继续拼命把成品做出来,身心疲惫。射频材料、微带电路 & 天线,想想本来是挺有趣的项目,但自己很累。
上周和小鸡以及一起杀过人的大家打了两小时篮球,好像自己已经整一年没有做除了自由投篮外的篮球运动了,并且之前没经常打篮球,不得不感叹自己不愧是全联盟”曾经”最快的第一步—-打了几个球就喘得不行。不过自己也小小的用自己足球的头球功力给小胖和小鸡表演了我“头球攻篮”的威力,尽管结果球出了边线…
几天前在比自己早一年来美的朋友的博上看到他们退了博,拿了硕士毕业,不由得地感慨,妈的,他们不是才毕业么,怎么又都毕业了…
继在电影院看过《功夫熊猫》后在土豆网上看了七八遍,背了几句台词,觉得还挺逗的…
在网上发现了免费看Wall Street Journal的方法,庆幸庆幸—-反正Wall Street Jornal是垚人我知道的为数不多在线阅读要收费的网站,很bt..
很久前托回沈阳的一点也不诡异的女人办点事,丫现在也没给我办。前几天联系上,说丫8月才回美国,现在还没空理我—-好在自己很久以前就发过毒誓,毒誓上说以后无论一点也不诡异的女人对我犯下什么滔天大罪自己都要不动于衷。
Siqi8月初就要结婚了,我和川儿计划好到时一起前往,看看不在电视里的人说”I do”时的样子。给Siqi在她给的她们结婚需要用的物品的订购站上买了礼物,发现东西大多是盆盆碗碗,刀刀叉叉,不禁对婚姻的恐惧由然而生,不知道自己在盘盘罐罐中会不会享受到人生的终极快乐。—-有时不得不怀疑自己有爱无能的症状。
和高中好友缇哥和csj熨电话煲,回忆起高中的那人那事那场景,不得不承认高中时代是迄今为止或也许是我人生中,平均每天大笑次数最多的一个时期—-感觉每个班里同学或老师都可以随心所欲望让全班暴场。也有令我感到羞涩的时候,每到谈到这些事情我就大叫制止,危胁说不要讲了,我不听我不听,往事不堪回首。
每天和老妈有一封邮件的交流,老妈很认真,不管信里写的啥,题目一率叫“家信”。每天一封,篇幅很短,但内容万象,今天说“今年高考本来你们学校应该出市状元的,但育才有个小子化学竞赛加了10分”,明天说“四川地震和奥运火炬传递让社会意识到,说你们80年代后出生的人是垮掉的一代是不正确的“,再后天说找个好老婆很重要很重要之类。很感动,并且自己在心理中默默地想自己以后一定要成个伟大的人,然后把这些书信发表。仿照《傅雷家书》和鲁迅的《两地书》啊,《两地书补遗》啊,以及《两地书拾遗补集》之类,也出个《明武家信》什么的,让我老妈对我的爱普照中华大地。
说起鲁迅的《两地书》,我觉得还tmd挺有趣。初中在旧书摊淘了很多鲁迅的书,当时还拿着《两地书》不停的翻看,希望得到些鲁迅的小8g之类,发现信好像大多是给一个人写的,称呼作”广平兄”,然后blah blah 地讲一些大道理之类。当时就还挺不解,觉得鲁迅这哥们和兄弟的情仪可真重啊,给他的广平兄弟写了整三本书的信.当时我还傻拉巴鸡的用百科全书查了一下鲁迅的亲戚里有没有叫广平的哥哥或弟弟之类(那时偶还没上过网,更没用过google),结果没有就愈加地崇敬鲁迅大哥。直到后来知道”广平兄”是他老婆许广平,并且许广平还是他的一个学生,神坛才算小小的倒塌一些。
今天什么活也不想干了,在这里书写一下心情,向大家问好,祝大家和自己一切顺利,永远快乐。
PS1:对某哈佛女孩和某狗说,偶得直接去San Diego了,不能去LA看你们了,原谅偶吧…
PS2:从天纬的博那里淘到大四毕晚后大家的照片—-惆怅,也许本科四年悄悄地离我远去,就像曾经的初中高中三年悄悄离我远去。
       而我,还依然年轻吗?

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给偶老娘贴几张照片& 附一智商测试题

Posted by gaomingwu on June 12, 2008
Posted in: Uncategorized. 13 Comments
前一阵子事情迭荡起浮,心情也一直跟着荡呀荡。一会对未来丧失信心,一会又对前途充满渴望。好在今天心境算是回复到了正常,整理一下心情,把偶老娘催了好久的在瑞士的照片放上来吧(偶只系先把有我的整理出来勒)—–老娘特意要求用中文写,并且危胁我说,就算我以后用英语写私生活她也能看懂。她说她认识”love”,只要看见有这个词就知道我有情况…
PS1:前几天和高中同桌戴缙在网上会谈,得知他快要和他女友庆祝第七个anniversary了…羡慕和祝福一下~
PS2:Kungfu Panda真的很好看,大家快去看啊~
PS3:偶在后面附了个智商测试题,大家快去看~
2我、雪山、阳光、木屋和草地8大哥爬雪山去照张相
              我、雪山、阳光、木屋和草地                                         大哥爬雪山去照张相
9不过摆了个这个pose确实有点对不起观众,10我就是买不起圣衣的圣斗士星矢!
         不过这个pose确实有点对不起观众                          来个有型的:我就是买不起圣衣的圣斗士星矢!
4师傅,待徒儿前去探路--偶在画中游15md,也不给老子涨点工资----偶在画中游2
          师傅,待徒儿前去探路–偶在画中游1                        md,也不给老子涨点工资—-偶在画中游2
6里面貌似有人----偶在画中游37师傅,有A片看,快来扒窗户啊----偶在画中游4
               里面貌似有人—-偶在画中游3                       师傅,有真人A片,快来扒窗户啊—-偶在画中游4.
11老倒子进城勒~3是真是假?--常会在正大综艺里看到的背景
         土老冒进城勒~                                  是真是假?–常会在正大综艺里看到的背景
12有鱼向我头上吐口水----还好在我后面的不是那个撒尿小孩14苏黎世市区里的河2---有点暗,懒得用ps改亮勒
       注意,浇到我头上的不是那女人撒的尿               苏黎世市区里的河—有点暗,懒得用ps改亮勒
附一个智商测试题:大家数数,下面的照片中有几架飞机?(答案见回复)
这张图里有两架飞机,朋友们能找到吗?

I still didn’t get the visa,and probably cannot make it to Swiss…

Posted by gaomingwu on May 11, 2008
Posted in: Uncategorized. 14 Comments
I don’t wanna sound negative, but I hate USPS! (United State Post Service)
 
My Swiss visa was sent out with my passport on April 30, by the so-called reliable signature confirmation mail of USPS. But so far, I haven’t got it. I tracked that mail using the track number thousands of times, before the record showed up on May 7 one week after it was put into post box. Right now, it is said to be in the city I am living, but I didn’t get it. This is one of the weirdest things i’ve ever met.
 
I am supposed to be gone for Swiss next Tuesday (May 13), if I have the visa. Frankly, though I didn’t regard visting Swiss a big deal with its opportunity cost concerned , I don’t wanna lose the right to choose. Sociology believes human beings can feel self-realized while making an option, so do I. I don’t wanna make one choice among only one choice. I am a little bit frustrated with that, since I felt so vulnerable in front things that i can’t handle. I hate this feeling. I desire to control my life by myself.
 
God bless me to get the visa next Monday, though I would not sacrifice all the rest of life for a few hours of that joy.

五四青年节,偶二十四岁勒~

Posted by gaomingwu on May 3, 2008
Posted in: Uncategorized. 22 Comments

即将收到上一世纪九十年代末以来偶第一份生日礼物,心理惴惴不安的喜悦。

回忆偶丑小鸭般的童年,印象比较深刻的是四岁过生日,偶哭求老妈给买生日蛋糕。老妈舍不得钱不给买,偶就闹。老妈没办法,就买了几个市场上论斤卖的蛋糕,插了几个蜡烛祝我生日快乐。偶极其怨愤,又木有办法,比我狠的老妈买的确实是生日用的蛋糕,理性思维为比较发达并且在那个时候就已经很讲道理的偶,遇到思维方式如此强大的老妈,只好认栽。

此外,一次偶和同月日生的表姐一起过生日,老舅买的生日蛋糕上却只写了表姐的名字,老舅后来觉得对不住偶,就事后给了我50大钞了结了这段恩怨。本来至此偶觉得生日被藐杀理应是一条勤劳致富的新路,结果50大钞被老妈无情地收绞,就又不得不强烈地呼吁政府给个体户一条生路.

不管怎么说,在这五四运动89周年暨高明武同志诞辰24周年之际,偶还是要好好快快乐乐的生活,并祝所有的大家一切顺利,天天开心幸福~~

PS:感谢几位好朋友提前的生日祝福,大家都要一起快乐~

附一则王琳同学当年给我讲的一个巨搞的关于生日的笑话(详情请见这里),王琳同学小学六年级时过生日,一个喜欢她的小男孩往她书包里塞了一个信封,里面有10块钱和一封信,信上说:“今天是你的生日,祝你生日快乐。想送你个礼物却不知道送什么好。想来想去还是送给人你10块钱吧,你想买点啥就买点啥…”感谢这个王琳同学和这个笑话,让我可以近几年和未来几年可以因为它而没有理由的微笑。

mitbbs十大之一竟在讨论六四的那个王丹…

Posted by gaomingwu on May 2, 2008
Posted in: Uncategorized. 9 Comments
mitbbs今天首页上竟然有个贴子在讨论六四事件的重要学生领袖之一,王丹…说是王丹的中国护照过期了,要求纽约中国使馆给他们补发,并要求回国,否则就绝食以抗议。不是特别理解为什么有那么多人说王丹的不好,在我的印象中王丹是那几个学生领袖中给我的印象比较好的一个勒,其它的吾尔开希做人做事说话的气质我倒也很喜欢和崇拜,不过封建德和柴玲我就很不喜欢,尤其是柴玲—-感觉像小学老师手下的女生班长,到处作威作福,装呛作势.
 
反正不管怎样,这几个人是很早以前就被偶老妈拉入黑名单,让我千万不要向他们学习的反面教材。估计老妈很早以前就看出偶有魏延的脑后反骨,怕我在有能力真正做些有意义的事情之前毁了前程,自废武功。偶只能说偶到目前为止,一切伪装的还好,不像大一之前那么愤青,因为后来偶有时觉得很多时候愤青多多少少是loser。偶会积蓄自己的力量,让世界有一天因为偶为中国人民或世界人民做勒件好事情而记住偶的名字的~~
 
PS:经过千辛万苦,在给系统打了一个补丁后,今天终于可以在家远程控制实验室的电脑勒—-自从大四搬到玉泉后,偶就不可理喻地再也不能用自己的电脑远程实验室的电脑,一个补丁解决了困扰偶近三年的难题.心理默默的高兴.

偶爱春天

Posted by gaomingwu on April 27, 2008
Posted in: Uncategorized. 8 Comments
客观条件迫使偶变换blog的风格,期冀用最少的时间和精力延续身边的历史,享受blog的快乐。
春天来了好久,不禁很是怀念杭州的春天。好在这里的春天告诉偶美好的重点在于春天,而不是哪里的春天。P1010864
OSU的的休闲广场,美国学生真是切意.
P1010870
偶傍晚的时候在找了个石桌木椅温书,试图分享却不知是否破坏勒这份谐意.
P1010863
更切意的是我的桌子旁边就是办公室的后门,平日里把门打开,是一片从这边走到那边要20分钟的草地(平日里用来我们实验室进行天线相关数据的测量),进办公室的人儿都会不禁感叹nice breezing。每当春天的气息吹来,偶就会再一次地遁悟:人生意义确实tmd在于享受.(图里是正在假装干活等待老板视查的偶)。
P1010858
站在偶那个办公室后门向外望,花花草草和一个被挂的小汽车,用来测量汽车对电磁信号反射。
P1010885
偶家窗前的小松鼠,每天早上都能看到它很辛苦的跑到垃圾箱那边吃早餐。平日里去那里倒垃圾,它就仿佛被捉奸般,惶恐地从垃圾箱夺路而出。


想说但是说不出来&在WashingtonDC看到了西湖

Posted by gaomingwu on April 19, 2008
Posted in: Uncategorized. 8 Comments
     好多事情和想法想和大家在这里分享,想开口又觉得不合适宜,郁在心里又思量着这段历史将会成为永远的空白.                  —-高明武
     昨天结识了一个许多朋友—-是的,一个许多朋友—-一个叫许多的朋友.据当事人回忆,我们结识的经过是这样的:这哥们北理工毕业,现在NYU读书,并且在Kent的blog上链到我的blog,又从我的blog上链到了小马哥的blog,然后在小马哥的blog上留下了msn;我在小马哥的blog上看到这哥们的msn,加之,后来发现这哥们blog好友有很多偶都认识,就结识了.结果发现这哥们的高中同学及其女友中的zyf,wl,zhj都系浙大偶认识的,偶高中的兄弟川儿也是这哥们在北理工就认识的。这哥们同时非常及时猜到偶的高中,并且迅速问偶认不认识北理当年据说是从偶高中来的大美女。偶想了好久,试图把这个有Web2.0时代特点的朋友圈完善,却怎么也想不起这个家在上海却跑到我们沈阳读号称东北第一校的高中的大美女.自己也觉得灰常扫兴.

前一阵子趁Washington DC樱花浪漫时蹭fly,铭铭和小佛去那边赏樱花。巨诡异的事情就是小佛开车的时候居然被一个开着便衣车的警察抓住超速,搞得大家都莫名惊诧。具体的经过是这样的:小佛很high的超速行驶中看到一个很土的小车停在高速中间的隔离带上,刚想向我们骂说怎么在高速上都有想打U turn的,那小车就追了上来,亮起了猥琐地藏在车里的警察闪闪的灯,之后的事情就是我心中不停萦绕刘欢的那首《便衣警察》的主题曲,“几度风雨,几度秋…”和小佛悲惨地吃了个T…(后来我一直在想,那警察从速度是0的状态下追上超速的小佛,technically,这哥们也超速了.老美double criteria的本性又一次被报露无遗。)

     樱花很美,然而在Tidal Basin湖边,怎么看怎么像我们西湖—-浙大的朋友们可以鉴定一下老美是不是在没有经过我们同意的情况下,就把西湖北边从断桥出来向东走的那条白沙路搬到了DC…
P1010783P1010786
PS:有没有除了国狗外,7月5号到12号左右会在加州的兄弟呢?偶那几天要去那边开会的说,想蹭大家几顿饭,以表偶对藏独的愤怒之情.


呵呵,偶要免费去瑞士罗~

Posted by gaomingwu on March 6, 2008
Posted in: Uncategorized. 23 Comments
 
一月末连续奋战了两周,用几门课超烂的作业成绩写了篇:“Globalization Tax” —-One possible solution to preserve local value”给The 38th St. Gallen Symposium,很幸运的中了。这样偶五月中旬可以免费去瑞士罗~~ (兴奋状)
 

和xh交流,感觉自己渺小 & 看完第三遍《Friends》

Posted by gaomingwu on March 5, 2008
Posted in: Uncategorized. 14 Comments
身边实在是有些事情值得留下痕迹,却不能详细记录,列下流水帐,雁过留声。
1..昨天和xh在msn上交流了40分钟,深刻觉得自己的渺小,同样年纪的人,视野和见识差得太多,自己也要做些什么。
2.上周接到csj同学的电话,很感慨。谢谢你,you never know how much this means to me。
3.今天晚上看完第三遍《Friends》,立存此照,并且开始看第四遍,争取达到可以用英语做梦的境界。

bls200792571048108

4.刚才小鸡汇报说Fisher商学院的一期杂志上面竟然出现了我的照片—-有趣,明天去拿个几百份,分给大家。
5.小老板在考试周前的这一周及时去日本开会一周,开心—-土耳其的那帮兄弟们刚才竟在办公室看冠军杯土耳其他们的费内巴切的比赛,好在点球险胜,明天他们又可以happy了。
6.今天下雨,没带雨伞,在赵晶同学的办公室搞到一个极诡异的伞,show给大家…偶的头实在规格不够大到顶这个OSU football的头盔。
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脆弱

Posted by gaomingwu on February 12, 2008
Posted in: Uncategorized. 32 Comments
    自己还真是脆弱,一忙起来的时候就想流泪,就想找人依靠。
    想家了,想爸爸妈妈给做的饭,洗的衣,买的好吃的,想偎依在老爸老妈身边…偎依够了,就把他们从床的这边推到那边,或者控制他们的胳膊,用他们的手去打空气。
    最近很忙,而且在可以预见的相当长的一段时间会一直很忙,忙到想哭,忙到想吐。本来说好今后再也不用中文写space了,尽管今天还算顺利地考完本周三门考试中的两门,回家后突然觉得自己特别委屈,为什么要把自己搞得这边累,为什么做男人都得顶天立地,就得飞扬跋扈.
    自己很喜欢雨,有朋友问为什么,我说我特别喜欢外面下雨自己躲在屋里或雨伞里的那种感觉,觉得自己有人依靠,有人疼,有人爱。不知道是因为自己骨子里缺少安全感,还是因为自己从小就没有得到过自己想要的关怀,或者记忆中自己总是被伤害,难以忘怀。
    不知道这世界上有没有男生像我一样看电影会流泪,即使自己觉得自己是个把女人当男人用,男人当牲口用,牲口当高明武用的人。虽然自己再也不会像以前那样,用要求自己的标准去要求或评价任何人,但我永远也不能放过自己。自己在未来的一段时间会很拼,很玩命。
    在这里,致像我一样不懈拼搏地人们以崇高地敬意,大家未来一定会绚丽多彩,今天的泪水和汗水必将由明天的辉煌和荣耀偿还。
    同时为香港的艳照门事件中生活和工作受到影响的人表示同情—-年轻总会让我们不经意间伤害了别人和自己。

Original work:“Globalization Tax” —-One possible solution to preserve local value

Posted by gaomingwu on February 2, 2008
Posted in: Uncategorized. 6 Comments

(Submitted to The 38th St. Gallen Symposium)

 

Haha~~~since I  find nothing about "Globalization Tax" in google, I might be the first persone to bring forwards the concept of "Globlazation Tax" in the world, though it might be of trivial or even no value…

 

“Globalization Tax”

—-One possible solution to preserve local value

Abstract

People approach their needs with globalization in pursuit of happiness, which revolutionizes human’s life and to some extent satiates some people’s needs and get them happy. The bad thing is that, if only to meet their Maslow’s hierarchized five needs and get happy, people don’t even have to take those who have nothing to do with their needs in concern and get self-actualization, which is the ultimate one of the five needs and primarily depends on how to define it personally. Taking advantage of that, globalization is threatening and ruining vulnerable local values.

 

In the process of globalization, the more advantages the corporations or countries enjoy in international trades or projects, the more probability that they are probably exploiting their vulnerable partners’ human or natural resources and causing globalization’s negative effects, and therefore the more responsibility they are supposed to take to preserve vulnerable local values. Based on that fact and taking corporations as well as countries’ individual cases into consideration, this essay proposes a plan about “Globalization Tax” and its enforcement. Hopefully it will guide people’s globalization activities, preserve local values and ensure that the benefits of global economic integration are widely, sufficiently, and sustainably shared.

 

 

Globalization: an attempt to approach human’s happiness

Globalization is an age-old drive as natural as breathing. It is the basic motivations that propelled humans to connect with others — the urge to profit by trading, the drive to spread religious belief, the desire to exploit new lands and the ambition to dominate others by armed might — all had been assembled by 6000 B.C.E. to start the process we now call globalization [1]. Like gravity, globalization has come to be seen in recent years as an unstoppable force of nature. If the world is flat, capital, goods and services can go wherever they want. [2]

 

Like it or not, globalization has been sweeping almost every corner of this earth, putting Starbucks in Forbidden city of Beijing, assembling Boeing aircrafts with worldwide produced parts, distributing west Asia’s petroleum among world’s vehicles and exploding information googled all over the world. Even in developing countries, an ordinary white collar could wait for his girlfriend at McDonald’s, wearing Lee jeans and tan Reebok boots, smoking State Express 555 brand cigarettes and calling his girlfriend with a Siemens mobile phone. While waiting, he could even get wireless Internet access with an IBM computer loaded with Microsoft software and say hello on the Facebook to his friends on the other side of the earth.

 

Though endowed with unalienable rights to pursue happiness, people are not necessarily happy. They pursue it. In pursuit of happiness, people try to meet their needs physically and psychologically. Based on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs [3], people are driven to meet five motivational needs arranged by ascending order of importance: physiological, safety, social, esteem, and self-actualization. Globalization lowers the international barriers to economics, technology, culture and politics, makes numerous people’s dreams come true, meets their needs and gets them happy.

 

The bad thing is that, if only to meet their needs and get happy, people don’t even have to take those who have nothing to do with their needs in concern and get self-actualization, which is the ultimate one of the five needs and primarily depends on how to define it personally. So possibly and actually, some powers are satiating their needs via globalization, while overlooking vulnerable local values of great interests to their neighbors and descendants.

Vulnerable local values: globalization’s bill payers

On one hand, globalization maintains or enhances the dominant local values of the powers’ interests, while on the other hand disregarding or even jeopardizing vulnerable local values, which seem to have no choice but ultimately pay the prosperity bills for dominant local values.

Economics:

Globalization encourages reduction of trade barriers,which aggravates the exploitation of child labor, fosters a race to the bottom in environmental standards, tears women in third-world nations away from their families, homogenizes disparate indigenous cultures and strips the gears of democracy in favor of rapacious multinational corporations.

In poorer countries, traditional industries with products of lower added value have been overwhelmed by efficient multinational giants. Multinational corporations, mainly from rich countries, exercise privileges that human citizens cannot: moving freely across borders, extracting desired natural resources, and utilizing a diversity of human resources. They are able to move on after doing permanent damage to the natural capital and biodiversity of a nation, in a manner impossible even for that nation’s citizens [4].

What’s worse, with incomparable superiority in technology, capital, management and world position, multinational corporations and rich countries can always be at advantage in setting industrial standards and making rules in international trades. It’s a Matthew Effect [5]. Rich countries get richer, while poor countries get poorer. Without effective countermeasures, this situation will not get changed until poor countries exhaust their resources and their local values become valueless.

Socioculture:

 

Although globalization encourages greater international cultural exchange, vulnerable local cultures are still fading away. Spreading of multiculturalism, and better individual access to cultural diversity (e.g. through the export of Hollywood movies) expose people to more unexperienced cultures. However, dominant cultures enjoy the privilege supplanting the vulnerable local culture, causing reduction in culture diversity through hybridization or even assimilation. [6]

 

Take language as an example. Due to peerless status in scientific publication and international affairs, English is becoming the world’s common language; in response to soaring number of business opportunities involving China, a boosting number of people are learning Chinese, while some linguists argue that at least 3,000 of the world’s 6,000-7,000 languages are liable to be lost before the year 2100 [7].

 

Unquestionably, every culture integrates human civilization and contributes to stability and prosperity of human society, there are definitely no superiority or inferiority of cultures. If no salvation about vulnerable local cultures happened, the world would lose its diversity and become a stinking backwater, which is dammed to dry up.

 

Politics

 

Though globalization about politics is the creation of a world government which regulates the relationships among nations and guarantees the rights arising from social and economic globalization [8], the regulators are always those several superpowers in the world, not only because of their permanent or temporary seats in UN Security Council, but also due to their advantages in economy, technology and military.

 

Superpowers can war against Iraq, even without the permission of UN Security Council; superpowers could default the UN membership dues and refuse to sign on Kyoto Protocol; superpowers can impose sanction against Iran and N. Korea on the pretence of nuclear nonproliferation, while making nuclear cooperation deal with India despite that country’s refusal to sign the Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty [8]. In all likelihood, people from vulnerable countries have enough of superpowers’ hegemonism.

 

Understandably, though every sovereign state commits taking their own responsibility in international affairs, their ultimate objective always lies in maximizing their own advantages. This fact restrains global politics, based on negotiation, compromise and engagement, from appreciating, maintaining and developing the whole human civilization, let alone vulnerable local values.

 

Environments & Ecology

 

Accelerated by globalization, human development depletes the earth’s resources and contaminates the environment. Due to the lowered trade barriers, dominant corporations build their factories in developing countries where they can pollute and exhaust natural resources freely. Besides that, climate change, ozone depletion, over-fishing of the ocean and other environmental problems, are jeopardizing human’s future and local values.

 

Accompanied with soared energy consumption and greenhouse gas emission, global warming is threatening human’s prosperity and even survival. The global average air temperature near the Earth’s surface rose for 0.74 ± 0.18 °C during the 100 year period ending in 2005. What’s worse, Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change indicates that average global surface temperature will likely rise a further 1.1 to 6.4 °C during the 21st century [9], which probably will catastrophically result in ecologic disasters.

 

Practically, for most of earth citizens environments are public resources, shared with world neighbors or descendants. As mentioned above, in order to meet Maslow’s hierarchized five needs and approach their happiness, people do not have to concern about environment problems too much. In addition, people do not only share environmental problems, they also share the returns of their endeavors retrieving or even protecting environments. Therefore theoretically, it is hard for people to voluntarily conserve environments at any cost of their life, not even to say those superpowers. Predictably, without proper mechanism integrating efforts and urging environmental problem solving, the world will not merely be on fire, local values either.

 

Globalization tax: one possible solution to preserve vulnerable local value

Just as market needs government’s regulation, though globalization also serve as a solution for people‘s happiness, it takes advantage of human’s instincts about needs eroding vulnerable local values, and calls for effective control and coordination as solutions. Fortunately, the world is not a zero-sum struggle, but rather is a positive-sum opportunity [10], making it possible to preserve and even enhance local value sustainably.

In the process of globalization, the more advantages the corporations or countries enjoy in international trades or projects, the more probability that they are probably exploiting their vulnerable partners’ human or natural resources and causing globalization’s negative effects, and therefore the more responsibility they are supposed to take to preserve vulnerable local values. Based on that fact and taking corporations or countries’ individual cases into consideration, I propose a “Globalization Tax” plan, trying to address the issues caused by globalization and preserve vulnerable local values

Definition: “Globalization Tax” is levied on the profit of corporations or the revenue of countries engaged in international trades and businesses by UN or a newly founded worldwide organization. The tax rate depends on the degree of the corporations or countries’ globalization, proportion of their profit (or revenue) in their whole profit (or revenue) and properties of the international trade and business (Those indexes could be measured by audit firms or such non-profit research organizations as Think Tank [11]). The revenue from the raised tax is wholly employed to solve the problems caused by globalization and preserve vulnerable local values.

 

How to raise “Globalization Tax”:

There are two possible ways to make “Globalization Tax” happen:

1. Levy “Globalization Tax” from Corporation

a. To make the first step, UN encourages those corporations who would like to do something for human’s society or simply want to gain good reputation to pay the “Globalization Tax”. In return, UN officially promulgates those corporations, taking advantage of its international influence to advertise them.

b. Hopefully, more and more corporations can join in and pay “Globalization Tax”, when the advertisements might not be as attractive as before. At that time, UN may cooperate with WTO, set up some trade barriers for those who do not pay “Globalization Tax” and force .them join in this plan.

c. In the end, hopefully all the corporations around the world pay their payable “Globalization Tax”.

2. Levy “Globalization Tax” from countries.

UN encourages countries to join “Globalization Tax” plan and raises tax from their governments, who might imperatively levy “Globalization tax” on the corporations that are doing international business on their territories. In return, those countries that join “Globalization Tax” plan enjoy the rights to apply for the funds to preserve their local value; those not will go under pressure coming from the whole world.

 

How to allocate the revenue from “Globalization Tax” to preserve local values:

1.       Every Eligible country should submit proposal to UN about its local value status and their plan to preserve it. An committee organized by UN will make the decisions based numerous priorities and the amount of the revenue.

2.       The projects in need of multination cooperation, can be proposed by UN or several involved countries jointly.

 

Mock cases:

About “Globalization Tax” ratio

Suppose Adidas is involved with the “Globalization Tax” plan, which is mainly using developing countries’ low-paid human resources and selling their products with high added value all over the world. This will enhance its “Globalization Tax” ratio. Suppose GE’s profit comes mainly from international trade, theoretically it will enhance its “Globalization Tax” ratio; but if a majority of its international profit comes from medical instruments of great interest to human, its “Globalization Tax” could be lowered. (It is the same situation if “Globalization tax is levied on countries)

About allocation of the revenue from “Globalization Tax”

Suppose New Zealand involves with “Globalization Tax” plan and plans to protect Māori language, its government should submit a proposal to UN, with plans about how to survive this endangered language and the budgets. Coincidentally, China and Mongolia plan to harness dust storms in their territory cooperatively, and submit a proposal to UN. At the same time, UN might propose a project developing technology to reduce greenhouse gas emission. A committee might be set up to evaluate those proposals as well as others and decide how to allocate the revenue from “Globalization Tax”.

 

Expected Effects:

1.        Evoke people, corporations and countries’ awareness about globalization’s side-effects as well as vulnerable local values and guide their globalization activities.

2.        Raise funds for the projects solving globalization’s problems as well as preserving vulnerable local values.

3.  Ensure that the benefits of global economic integration are widely, sufficiently, and sustainably shared

 

Conclusion

In summary, people approach their needs with globalization in pursuit of happiness, which revolutionizes human’s life and to some extent satiates some people’s desires. Taking advantage of human’s instincts about needs, globalization is threatening and ruining vulnerable local values. Based on that, this essay proposes a “Globalization Tax” plan, which hopefully will guide people about their globalization activities, raise funds and assemble efforts to solve problems caused by globalization, to preserve vulnerable local values as well as human civilization

 

Bibliography

[1] Nayan Cbanda, Bound Together 2007.

[2] DANIEL GROSS ” Globalization Offered Two Ways: à la Carte and Prix Fixe”  New York Times: March 12, 2006

[3] A.H. Maslov, A Theory of Human Motivation, Psychological Review 50 (1943):370-96

[4] “anti-globalization” Available [Online]: < http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-globalizat ion > Jan 28, 2008.

[5] “Matthew effect” Available [Online]: <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matthew_effect > Jan 28, 2008.

[6] “globalization” Available [Online]: <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Globalization > Jan 28, 2008.

[7] “Endangered language” Available [Online]: <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endangered _language> Jan 28, 2008.

[8] DAVID RIEFF ” Globalization 2.0”  New York Times: March 26, 2006

[9] Climate Change 2007: The Physical Science Basis. Contribution of Working Group I to the Fourth Assessment Report of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change.

[10] Jeffrey D. Sachs, The End of Poverty, 2005

[11] “Think tank” Available [Online]: <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Think_Tank > Jan 28, 2008.

President of Peking University, Xu Zhihong, sang a popular song.

Posted by gaomingwu on January 17, 2008
Posted in: Uncategorized. 10 Comments

    I am totally moved.

    So proud of Peking University. So proud of Xu Zhihong.

Bitches, show me the party!

Posted by gaomingwu on January 15, 2008
Posted in: Uncategorized. 12 Comments
    The art of war is simple enough.
    Find out where your enemy is. Get at him as soon as you can. Strike him as hard as you can, and keep moving.
                                 —-Ulysses S. Grant
OSU 's SlutsWe discussed
            My AIESEC US Winter Strategic Conference 2008
  
index
a. High lights:
b. Travel to St. Louis
c. Conference
d. Party
e. Dance
f. Waffle House
g. Red Army’s fan
h. Summary
i. Envison
a. High lights: How I grew up in the 4-day conference
   The 1st day, I was kinda self-conscious, with no awareness about how to dance, how to hook up with girls, how to strike up conversations with American guys and how to do almost everything. Jason from Madison told me American students have parties every week (so called: good good party, day day up. –my own notes) and asked me to assert “Bitches, show me the party” to my Local Community’s members.
   The 2nd day, Mary from Kansas initially came and dance with me, taught me how to dance and encouraged me to dance as I wished. Ben from GIT told me the most important thing was to dance and have fun.
    n8627957_39856785_4375      n16820332_36499340_1264
                             Jason                                                                         Mary

   The 3rd day, Jason asked me to be his partner to do the sandwich dance with the girls.

One layered sandwichTwo layered sandwich

  Left: one-layered (girl) sandwich                  Right: two-layered (girls)sandwich

    I jumped on the top of crazy people

      When one dance was ended, I jumped on the top of those crazy people.

   The 4th day, Ben was hosting a conference session. He claimed the room and the session were really hot and took off his coat and shirt. I got on the stage and sticked one dollar into his waist, as if treating a stripper. People exploded into laughter. 

  I sticked the one dollar into the waist of the host guy who attempt to strip...

               I did the dollar, as if doing Ben as a stripper. It was cool, I know.

b. Travel to St. Louis
   When I tried to pee at Airport of St . Louis, I was quite shocked at the first sight of the urinal flushers.
 Toilet for pee...  Toilet for pees
Based on its shape, I thought it might be a toilet for poo (Left Fig.), until I found the air fresher (circled by red rectangle in Right Fig.), which was normaly put in the unrinal flusher for pee.
@plane,before departureWait for the shuttle @airport
Left:@plane,before departure               Right:Wait for the shuttle @ St. Louis airport
Back from McDonald'sMerry Xarismas
Left:Back from McDonald’s                       Right:Merry Xarismas
c. Dance
Dance3
   Left: Every body!                                                     Right: Ariana and me
Dance2Girls from OSU
  Left: Every body!                                                                Right: Girls from OSU
d. Conference
   The theme of this conference is “Just do it!”, encouraging us to get out of our comfort zone and do our best to interact with strangers.
—-The chair said ” I hope every body in the conference feel uncomfortable. That’s the way we grow up. If you feel comfortable, the conference is not for you.”
—-A hot girl asked, “So is it OK for me to make others uncomfortable?”
—-I said to her quietly in my mind,”You can make me as uncomfortable as you can …”
We did the roll-call danceLast nigth, dancers' lost their items.
Left: The roll call dance from OSU             
Right: The stuff lost by those crazy dancers in last night’s party
    We came to an agreement before the conference that, whoever lost their items would be cursed by punishments. The items in the right upper picutre were lost by people in the last night’s party. The lossers were damned to be punished as follows:
P1010463P1010464
Left: They lay down on the floor, ladies by gentlemen. We put one penny (circled by blue rectangle) on the belly of first person. They should try to transport the penny using only the pressure between their bellies…..
Right: One lady got on top of the gentle man, press his body with her own body as hard as she could and roll….Much more thrilling than Adult Video, isn’t it?
P1010469P1010466
Left: OMG…..                                                    Right: OMG…..
e. Party
Smoke Hookah2
                                             We smoke the hookah
VodkaSpirits...
We got the vodka (Left Fig.) in a grocery store far from the hotel. Though some of the guys are still under 21, who are illegal to drink, we drank, and a lot. (Right Fig.)
f. Waffle House
P1010531We went to Waffle House to grab something to eat @3 o'clock am
Left: we hung out in the lobby. 
Right:The AIESECers who took the van and got to Waffle House first.
The last night, we danced until 3:00 am and hung out in the lobby. The coffee bar in the hotel was closed. We decided to go to Waffle House (open 24 hours) to grab something to eat. 20 people were squeezed into a van, which normally seat 12 people, while many other AIESECers could not take the van. However they took cabs to catch up with us.
Some guys walked in, we cheered since we thought we were gonna join us..However_they_ignored_us_and_walked_directly_into_the_restroom_(bathrom)
Whenever the AIESECer who took cabs to join us came into Waffle House, we cheered and welcomed them. However, when a gang of people came in ( the Left Fig.) , we thought they were AIESECers and cheered. They turned out to be strangers, ignored us and walked directly into the bathroom ( the Right Fig.). We were kinda frustrated but couldn’t help laughing.It was funny.
        Thrillers...
                                       We took a crazy photo before we left.
g. Red Army’s fan
P1010534P1010541
A guy from Purdue (Left Fig.) seemed to be a great fan of Red Army. Look at his cap….In Waffle House somebody initialize to compete about who could drink the most pepper sauce. He said nothing but drink a whole bottle of hot pepper sauce up…..(Right Fig.)
h. Summary
a. This was my first confernce that others paid for my flight tickets and conference fee. It meant a lot to me.
b. What was more important, it was my first time to have parties with American students and without any other Chinese students. They treated me like an American students, so I learned so much about American culture and English, even much more than that I learned in the past 4 months. I knew how they boo, how they gossip, how they make fool of others, how they hang out and hook up with others and even what they do at dinner table to have fun(类似于国内的拉歌)
i.Envision 

a. Hopefully, i can secure several conferences paid by others this year.

     Drafted schedule:   

                   Feburary: Washington DC & Illinois/Chicago 

                         June: San Diego

b. Continue to hang out with American students, learn American culture and English. That’s the reason I came to this country.                     


dang章修改建议 & Though the perfect can be perfected

Posted by gaomingwu on December 22, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 10 Comments

近期又有一些热心的朋友向偶推介女友,偶不胜感激,临表涕零,生当殒首,死当结草。偶大感历史潮流滚滚向前,兄弟们的热情此起彼伏,偶深感责任重大,牵一发而动全身。在此偶建议明年dang代表大会上,将我dang的dang章改为:

  紧密团结在以某某某为核心的某中央周围,在鼓励优生优育,早生早育,未婚先育政策基础之上,团结最广大的不是女同志的女同志,严厉打击以高明武为首的老处男恐怖主义势力集团,在实现社会主义性合谐的基础上,加大力度,深化改革,进一步掀起社会主义社会全面性高潮。

*******************小武子惨淡的语言分界线***************************

Education should be the accumulation of understanding, not just an accumulation of facts.

                     —-David M. Pozar (Preface of 《Microwave Engineering》3rd edition)

   DSCN2203

A lot of happenings happened, and a lot of un-happenings unhappened. Whatever happened, happened. I cannot enjoy it more. If my senior year in college was the most incontinent but painful days in life for me, right now I am experiencing an unprecedented moderate state of mind. In my eyes, everything around me is perfect. Though the perfect can be perfected, they don’t have to be.

 

Research progressed smoothly, kinda beyond my expectation. A sucker like me found some principle mistakes, not those tiny petty print errors, in my boss’s copartner’s submitted paper and was preparing to submit a conference paper for next summer’s San Diego.

 

Memorize the Goldman Sachs finance mini-dictionary, totally 1,700 words or so, which hopefully would tolerate no more my loss in reading related topics. Cool. If I have to list some rewards of taking GRE, one of them might be the courage and insensitivity seeing 100 new words as one word, though for me, only before any attempt to memorize them.

 

Too many thanks to Fly, I heard Caribbean Sea.

         I heard its smile.

         I heard its smell.

         I heard its color.

         I heard its fish.

         I heard its sunshine.

         I heard its beach.

But still, if not for the bad wind’s noisy serenade, it should have been much more sorta romantic than I deserved.

 

I deserved, because I had paid Fly for that romance, with my efforts looking for waterproof camera bags as protection fee. During this process, I harassed Jiang Tianwei and Lin Ran about it, and learned more than too much from those two notorious but respect-worthy life-oriented guys.

 

Tianwei strongly recommended getting a great but expensive one and helped me…

1.       Do the math: you paid 1000 RMB and made use of it for 3 years. Averagely speaking, it is much cheaper than eating Baozi (steamed bun) everyday.

2.       Do the metaphor: this is exactly like the truth that men should never be penny-pinching until  talking a girl into seeing him, since once he gets her, he almost can enjoy his life forever.

 

I got it: “You are right. It would be much cheaper than doing whores every day all our life.”

Tianwei did the math again: “Exactly! It is much cheaper than eating Baozi….”

 

——I have to always feel irreversibly inferior and cannot raise my chin in front of such insightful and high-IQed guys as Tianwei,.

*********************************************************************

A brain teaser for my friends:

One penny was sealed in the drift bottle I got from Amish Country. Does anybody have any idea about why the penny is prisoned in this bottle?

        2

I asked tens of people about it, but nobody knew.  I tell you the truth: this penny killed nickel,  dime and quarter,  attemptting to control the whole kingdom of coin.


我不知道风应该向哪个方向拉&历数心中比较牛的造假案

Posted by gaomingwu on December 2, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 32 Comments
这边的天气终于有悲凉了,昨天拿出许文强的大风衣,很帅,只不过身边既没有丁力,也没有冯澄澄,未免形单影支,顾影自怜,形影相吊。加上蓦然从兜里翻出冬天从杭州回沈阳的火车票,不免得悲春伤秋,时光荏苒。铭铭很不懂风情地说这天也没有风,风衣没有用。我很语重心长的教育他,我穿这风衣不是为了挡风,而是为了拉风。徐志摩说他不知道风是在哪一个方向吹,我不知道风应该向哪个方向拉。
周四下午竟然考完了本学期最后一门课,在全校停课进入考试周前的一天开始了自己的寒假生涯。假期来得如此突然,以至于竟有些措手不及。好在最后一门考试居然很炫地提前交了卷,气势上还相当8错。
之前还有次期中考,电话回家的时很开心地像儿时一样向老爸炫耀,老爸,前几天期中考试,我考了93。只可惜老爸的警惕并未随时光的流失而流逝,机警地盘问最高分是多少。我就只好很木有面子地招认最高分是100。此后任自己再怎么强调平均分是79分之类,老爸就是不感冒。周四78分钟的考试自己提前22分钟做好,很是犹豫要不要提前交卷,忍了10分钟,最终还是压制不住自己装逼的怒火,提前交了卷。觉得自己仿佛玩三国无双,杀了对方英雄,士气大涨,信心百倍,随后去健身房猛练了一阵,算是一鼓作气。
上周和汪鑫每人买了蛋白粉,并去键身房打了羽毛球,拉器械,练肌肉。我觉得找老婆是个现实没法实现的挺大一个项目,要用项目管理的方法把它分成几个可以实现小的项目,并用时间控制和进度控制之类。练肌肉是其中一小项目,最近打算去买男士香水和护肤品之流,至于做饭,武术,开车,讲冷笑话,陪女人逛街,讨女人开心的能力以及对女人的忍受和抗压能力只能安排到下一阶段的行动中。
前几天申请了个www.gaomingwu.com的域名,里面还未修饰,仍然在为其定位,欢迎有想法的大家给予建议。
OSU果然诡异的成了全美橄榄球排名第一的球队,1月要打决赛啦。为了增加一个明年偶向别人吹嘘的资本,一定要拿到总冠军啊~~
        untitled
%%%%%%%%%%%小武子惨淡的人格分裂线%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
借近期打假华南虎之东风,历数一下我心目中比较牛的几个造假案
(因全凭自己的记忆,并未仔细查证,仅供大家娱乐,本人不承担相关法律责任)
A.人见人骂型:
1.两个月前,一位中国农民给全世界的媒体挖了个大坑,世界人民在这个坑里灌水无数--Science也未能免俗。周正龙拿出了一张号称是他亲自拍摄的华南虎照片,于是陕西省林业局跳出来无数人挺他,并相当积极的撰写报告给中央说陕西的林业保护实现了巨大的成就,华南虎又出现在其境内,要求中央给其拨款加大对境内的环境的保护。Science十月份刊登了这幅照片,题目Flat Cat?质疑其真实性。后网友揭穿其年画本质。
7129516donghua
2.上海交大微电子所陈进,找了几个民工,把摩托罗拉的片子标识磨平后,略加修饰造成“汉芯”,并且一越成为全国优秀科技工作者。据说是因为内部分赃不均,导致内部人士揭发。真是好笑,孟子很早以前不就教育我们什么不患寡而患不均么…
PS:大三暑假徐大哥和元元去上交的微电子所参加他们举办的精英暑假实习,据说第一堂课那个老师很明确地向大家表态说自己和陈进的事情没有关系…
3.中国国防科技大学所谓麒麟操作系统,据说被列为863重大科技成果之一,对外宣称是什么国内自主开发源代码的操作系统。后来被稍微懂点计算机的人揭发只不是抄了世界开放源代码社区GNU东东。其中一当事人挂不住面子,写信澄清说原创的代码占到10%…
PS:偶鄙陋地猜原创代码占1%就已经很了不起了。
4.前几年杭州号称在世界休闲协会评选的世界上最休闲的城市中排名第2,仅次于马德里。
不过根据偶的小道消息,此所谓世界休闲协会不过是p大点儿的一个没什么影响力的组织,这个给杭州无形资产带来巨大提升的事件不过是当年绿城老板宋卫平和杭州市市政府的一个小小的trick…不过很赞的是,他们还很低调地把马德里放在了第一位,从而大大加强了这一结果的可信度。
5.北京电视台今年冬天一记者哥们自己找了演员并导演拍摄了一新闻报告,实况揭露了采访北京一包子铺用废纸箱代替肉制作包子的行径。大家都很震惊,北京市卫生局觉得很木有面子,就大规模调查了全市几乎所有包子铺,之后真像大白于天下。
B.流芳百世型:有些造假就比较幸运,成为人们津津乐道的话题,甚至成为传奇。
1.马拉多娜在86年世界杯四分之一决赛用上帝之手打入了置胜一球,将英格兰淘汰。
PS:在浙大选课,过了某些时间段,理论上讲就不能再选课了,但和控制选课相关人士有关系的人还是可以选到。我和showshow经常说葡萄很酸地说他们都用了上帝之手。
2.休斯顿火箭现任中锋木托姆博的年龄栏上永远写着40,他现在有多少岁,木有人知道。
3.世界田径史上的传奇,被人们爱称为花蝴蝶的格里菲斯乔伊娜在逝世后被传实际上是男儿身。
4.至于易建联年龄的相关问题能否流芳百世,不得而知,不过中国体育圈年龄造假是世人皆知的秘密。
C..难辨真伪型:
1.据说美国当年并木有登上月球,那幅照片只不过是仿照的。有人用和揭露找虎英雄周正龙类似的方法,从光线的明暗,以及拍摄照片时太阳月球的位置导致的光线入射不可能出现照片上那种人影的角度和长度和国旗、飞行器的对比,以及美国的国旗为什么会在没有空气因此没有风的月球飘起来进行论证。
       apollo
2.美国的星球大战计划
3.世界上流传甚广的这水怪,那遗迹..


时域分析纠正自己的英语发音(预修课程:《信号与系统》)

Posted by gaomingwu on November 26, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 16 Comments
感恩节,预料到很多人要进行感恩,礼貌起见,偶十分热情主动地在试图对每个感恩节更新博客的朋友诚挚地说声“不用谢”--每次想到世界上还有偶这种如此nice的人,偶就对生活充满了激情和渴望。不过当偶的礼貌进行到小佛博客时,就相当尴尬,这个女人竟然没有感恩,偶只好灰头土脸的夹着尾巴逃走。好在小佛比偶还nice,赶来特意地感谢偶,偶也十分nice的对真诚地说勒句“不用谢”,开心。
感恩节,呆在家里做宅男。不过娘娘还要悲惨地到实验室去干活,偶送去mixed berry和牛肉干进行慰问,算是把这个礼拜的保护费交了,同时鼓励她在实验室好好改造,争取早日放出来做个至少对社会没有害处的人,并且安慰她说不要有太压力,大家对她没有什么其它的奢望.
昨天小鸡过生日,一个女人(后来得知是秀秀)突然问:“咦,你是不是以前帮我们家装过书架?”偶激动得不得了:“md,老子勤勤恳恳助人为乐积累了23年的人品终于暴发了.”弹冠相庆。此后party,偶通过出众的智商和过人的智慧,被淫琐圈OSU分舵破格吸纳为会员,成为8位会员中的一名。据秀秀和王琁等同僚介绍,淫琐圈里有趣的人相当多,偶继续相当激动--偶从来都不怕生活木有乐子。本来说今天是圈内的活动日,有个圈内的哥们今天要参加卡拉OK大赛,圈内成员要集体去加油助威。不过偶已经提前被某人抓了童工,出席不了。王璇同学威胁说三次不参加圈内活动要被除名,偶只好让她帮我签个小到。
此后玩杀人,那种很原始的玩法,搞得偶在学校里和杀人吧的丰富经验没有办法被施展,还连续两局被首剁,抑郁。很怀念与一点也不诡异的女人混迹于杭州和沈阳杀人吧的日子--并且觉得许多人之所以认为杀人无聊的原因是因为规则和玩法等不够专业。
不过好在前几天联众出了杀人的网络游戏,还在公测,偶玩了几局后打电话给一点也不诡异的女人庆祝,丫果然在睡觉--偶骚扰成功,窃笑。
在家里纠正自己的发音,把标准带子和自己的声音录下来,对声音信号进行时域的分析(如下图,预修课程:《信号与系统》)),发现和标准声音差好多。
(英语内容:Many International students have been confused about the government of the United States. They wonder who holds the power and who makes the decisions…)
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          Figure 1: 标准英语读音的时域信号

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         Figure2:偶经过好大努力读出的英语的时域分析
从标准信号和偶的发现信号的时域分析可以看出,标准的声音信号在元音处有一个很窄的脉冲,短促但有力,听起来就清晰而饱满。而经过偶好大努力的personal best record在元音脉冲间却有很多的杂音,偶猜这就是为什么偶说英语不清楚的原因。而且从这两幅图的对比不难看出,偶意群之间的节奏差得也还相当多。并且好像这种分析还分析不出音色方面的差距…偶很自卑,并且决心要继续好好努力。(《信号与系统》砍下100分的石头同学可以进来在频域上分析一下这个信号,然后指点一下偶~~)
本来还想录一首刘若英的《听!是谁在唱歌》,用以回击崔师嘉同学对我高中唱歌跑调的人身攻击,不过发现自己的功力还是不行啊,录好放出来的声音和自己听的声音差好多,只好把space的背景音乐换成它,代表一下自己的声音。尽管如此,偶还是很有信心,一定要继半年前出了个人第一首单曲后,再翻唱一曲,回击崔师嘉等厮,并且献给曾经唱歌跑调的自己。


向人类公布偶发明的一个物理量,及其单位

Posted by gaomingwu on November 16, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 35 Comments
我发明的这个物理量叫“摸”,单位“高”,发明于高二:
 
发明经过:
那时班里有个小男孩叫大喆,十分可爱有趣,偶很喜欢和他一起玩(就好比偶在浙大的时候很喜欢与我的大情妇(超超)和二情妇(波波)一起玩)。偶很喜欢用手摸他的脸,firm and juicy…他总是很气愤可爱地抵抗:“大印,你干什么…”总是不让偶摸。偶总是没爽成,很不开心,相当耿耿于怀,并且怀恨在心。好在他总是来让问偶给他讲许多题目的解法,偶得以可以十分巧妙令其就范。
有一天,偶对他说,大哲,你看我给你讲了这么多题目,你说你应该怎么报答我呢?
他说,“大印,你说吧。”
我说,“以后我想摸你的时候你得让我摸。”
他说,“那不行,那你太合适了.”
我想了想,“不如这样,我每给你讲一次题目,你让我摸一个课间。”
他也想了想,就傻了巴机地同意了。
 
于是乎,每次下课铃响起,我就在座位上喊大喆来我座位旁边,让我摸,不停地摸,摸一个课间。相当爽。但是后来发现这种制度有很大的问题,就好比说偶摸着摸着大喆或者偶突然想去减小一下膀胱内壁的压力,或者老韩突然进来扫黄打非,再或者物理课代表的偶突然要分发什么卷纸之类。这样就导致我们没有办法很好的计算和衡量到底偶有没有把这个或那个课间的摸用掉。明显,这种抚摸制度已经没有办法适应我们那个时期的需求,既没有办法满足我日益增长的抚摸需要,也没有办法满足我和大哲对日益增长的抚摸交易的强烈需求。马克思在高二思想政治的课本上说(大意):人类的需要,可以以千百万倍世界上最聪明人的努力推动人类科技的进步。
  
为了适应时代潮流,我及时地发明了一个物理量及其单位,十分完美地解决了这一困扰人类科技进步的难题。这一物理量的中文名字叫“摸”;英文名“fondle";国际通用符号:Fo;定义公式:摸=力X时间(Fo=FXt)。单位是“高(G)”(1高=1牛顿X秒,1G=1NXs;高(G):after 创史人高明武(Gao Mingwu))。转化成国际单位制:kgXm^2/s。高这个单位的物理意义是:1高的摸,表示某人用1牛的力在本人或其它人脸表面匀速抚摸1秒钟。(乎略被摸者脸表面磨擦力以及期间因磨擦而导致的电荷转移及静电力和电磁辐射。)
自从有了“摸”这个物理量以及其相应单位“高”,我和大哲之间的抚摸交易变得如此简单:每次讲题前我们只要根据题目的难易程度,将每道题目转化成相应“高”的“摸”,记录在下来,积累有效。比如如果偶给他讲了一道难题,我就获得了1000高的摸,这样我就有权力在用1牛的力在他的脸上摸1000秒钟,或用2牛的力摸500秒钟。每次摸之前我们都商量好这次用多少牛的力,然后开始记表。期间被打断就停表记帐,这就保证了我和大喆之间正常的抚摸交易,极大的促进了我们之间友谊的增长,我给大喆讲题的热情以及大喆学习成绩的进步。
  
推而广之,偶想好了,以后偶要是有了老婆,偶就用以下公式和老婆进行抚摸交易:
V1.0
洗一次碗=1000高;
做一次饭=2000高;
安慰一次=(迷你型套餐:500高;温饱型套餐:1000高;小康型套餐:2000高;豪华型套餐:自行协商);
帮老丈母娘干活=(小家碧玉型丈母娘:0高;高头大马型丈母娘:10000高);
抬一次东西=(老婆本人:0高;其余:100高/kg)
修一次电脑=…;
 
与此同时,怀着奉献社会服务人类的伟大构想和人格魅力,偶决定将我的这一发明公布给全人类,希望促进人类之间的抚摸贸易,增进人类感情的增长,最终推动人类生活质量的提高。
 
备注:
物理量:“摸”;
 英文名:“fondle";
国际通用符号:Fo;
定义公式:摸=力X时间(Fo=FXt);
     
单位:“高(G)”(1高=1牛顿X秒,1G=1NXs;高(G):after 创史人高明武(Gao MIngwu););
转化成国际单位制:kgXm^2/s
     
物理意义:1高的摸,表示某人用1牛的力在本人或其它人脸表面匀速抚摸1秒钟。
           (乎略被摸者脸表面磨擦力以及期间因磨擦而导致的电荷转移及其静电力与电磁辐射。)

温室里的花朵决定要人格分裂&分享一些东东

Posted by gaomingwu on November 11, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 14 Comments

前一阵子被之杰兄指责生活太安逸,仿佛温室里的花朵,不像其它在米国兄弟姐妹们那样日出而作,日落而辍。想想也是,看众多有志青年的博客,关心的都是社稷民生,世事浮沉,相当阳春白雪;偶的下里巴人,靡靡之音,每天忍不住地想问:“岂不食肉糜…"。正如之杰指出,自己理当过些有挑战性的生活,做到大雪压花朵,花朵挺且牛。

(耳边响起著名励志歌曲《劳动最光荣》:太阳光金亮亮,雄鸡唱三唱;花儿醒来了,鸟儿忙梳妆。小喜鹊造新房,小蜜蜂采蜜糖。幸福的生活从哪里来?要靠劳动来创造。青青的叶儿红红的花,小蝴蝶贪玩耍。不爱劳动不学习,我们大家不学它。要学喜鹊造新房,要学蜜蜂采蜜糖。劳动的快乐说不尽,劳动的创造最光荣.)

还是有些痛心疾首的,怎么说偶一两年前也算是有理想有抱负的社会主义的栋梁,虽然决然不敢像传说中的牛人一样生活一个博,工作一个博,但也还是决定要从此进行人格分裂。(转小佛博客巨冷笑话一则来说明什么叫人格分裂:“从前我有很严重的人格分裂症,后来我们就痊愈了…”)

今天人格分裂的主要内容是:偶前几天在Iris_xia的博客上看到说Proshare出了可以与中国股市进行对冲的基金ProShares UltraShort FTSE/Xinhua China 25 ETF(ETF-Exchang Trading Funds)。偶亲自查了下,发现该基金是基于对中国股市泡沫即将破灭的预期推出:"if the FTSE/Xinhua China 25 declined by 1% in a day, the UltraShort FTSE/Xinhua China 25 ProShares should appreciate by 2%, and if the benchmark rose by 1%, the ETF should decline by 2%."

自己夏天在家里自学Stampfli和Goodman的那本《The Mathematics of Finance》时惊奇的发现,金融这种东西原来真的竟可以通过stock,future,currency等等的组合hedge,进行几乎0风险的投资(金融业界insider的兄弟姐妹们无情地耻笑吧)。因此前几天突然看到这样一则自己完全可以操作的实例,还是相当的激动,寝食不安。要是老子现在有钱,就按一定比例买进这个基金和国内的一支股票,进行有益的投资尝试。不过…md,唉……希望自己可以通过几个月的工资进行原始的资本积累(^_^)后进行一些简单的金融交易。

此外,为了跟上时代的潮流,紧扣时代的脉搏,偶昨天在网上还搜集了一些中国比较有思想人类的博客和曼昆(Mankiw:那本《经济学原理的作者》)的博客到偶的RSS阅读器,在这里和大家分享一下,手里有名家博客和好网站的兄弟们,也发信到偶博客标题下的Email或电话指点偶一下吧,偶们共同的进步:

(大脑里浮现出《Friends》S07EP16里,Joey为Chandler和Monica准备主持婚礼的献词:It is a love based on giving and receiving. As well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving. We too can share and love and have and receive. When I think of the love that these two givers and receivers share, I can not help but envy the lifetime ahead of having and loving and giving and receiving…")

士可辱,不可杀

Posted by gaomingwu on November 5, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 33 Comments
两周前老妈说有人给偶介绍女朋友,沈阳市东北育才毕业,还在浙大读书的一个花姑娘。理论上讲,当有沈阳市东北育才中学的花姑娘的家属向辽宁省实验中学的天才少年提亲时,辽宁省实验中学的天才少年应该很不屑地把这一事实公布给石头,一点也不诡异的女人以及徐大牛等育才小厮,进行很不经意地无情地炫耀和鄙视。但自己即使强压了心中的羞涩,却实在是开心不起来,把MSN的签名档无奈的改成:
  “唉,老妈说有人给我介绍沈阳育才毕业浙大在读的女生做我女朋友…”
 
偶的本意是:md,老子怎么混得这么惨,居然混到需要出动老妈帮找马子的地部,真太tm地没有面子了。这不是有没有女朋友的问题,也不是能不能爽的问题,而是实实在在的荣誉问题。惨淡的事实实在是有点让偶的自尊心受到--裤裆里敲大锤--沉重地打击。
 
MSN签名档刚公布,舆论界反响就相当巨大,各路狗崽队分分出现:
小白同学第一个爬上来,在把逗号错加成“沈阳育才,毕业浙大,在读的女生”的情况下,利用已知条件和无懈可击的逻辑询问,那个女生是不是直到四个月前还是她室友的那个一点也不诡异的女人…偶飞流直下三千汗。小白同志,你的逻辑令人发指,但这种猜法大哥不提倡。
  
改成:“唉,老妈说有人给我介绍沈阳育才毕业,浙大在读的女生做我女朋友”。
鹏鹏就从火星发来贺电,祝贺我们寝室终于至少有人曾经有女朋友了…md,大哥不要,把那姑娘送给你享用。
  
改成:“唉,太不吉利了,老妈说有人给我介绍女朋友,太自卑了…"
于是王菁同志致电询问为何那晚签名档换得如此之频繁,我如此这般。她说,欧,我要去吃晚饭了。偶看了一下时间,10:00pm,真tm的不愧是晚饭…
 
最令老子想杀人的是Shaka,这个估计比我在女人方面混得还惨的JHU厮,色眯眯地上来就淫荡地问:“是不是出国的男生很受欢迎啊…”被一直在杀人和忍住不杀徘徊的我骂个狗血喷头.
此外,对此事表示关注但不声称对此事负责的组织还有:问我寒假回不家相亲的同办公室的彭大牛,鼓励我一鼓作气的老钱,以及狞笑不止的Zuo学妹。
  
大家的关怀令偶感到党对于消除偶这样老处男的强烈决心和信心,令偶充分认识到自己应该以找不到花姑娘为耻,以有马子泡为荣,等新时代老处男的八荣八耻。从此屏弃了腐朽的价值观,深刻地认识到:士可辱,不可杀:
  筒子们,快点献些上等的花姑娘给本少爷,老子大大的有赏~

技术贴

Posted by gaomingwu on October 29, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 18 Comments
世人莫笑偶痴枉,偶左牵黄来,右擎苍;CS的兄弟莫笑偶放荡,偶是有些想法要分享。
(请大家用儿时看的“小熊杰里米”的自我介绍的节奏有感情地读上面的话--提示:小熊杰里米的自白:我是小熊杰里米,聪明能干又聆利;既能写来又能跳,还能唱小调do re mi.)
鉴于突然要正统的在博里说事,为了缓和一下尴尬的气氛并且完成完美的过渡,偶先吟诗一首:
 沈阳赞(转载)
棋盘山上砍过树,故宫城里盗过墓,此生行尽天涯路,沈阳儿女就是酷.
道义村里赶过场,明廉大炕嫖过娼,万里长城万里长,沈阳儿女就是强.
五爱南街下过海,火车北站挂过彩,青山颜色终不改,沈阳儿女就是拽.
浑河湾里洗过澡,市府广场赛过跑,天若有情天亦老,沈阳儿女就是叼.
小津桥头打过劫,辽大门口飙过血,意气精魄坚如铁,沈阳儿女就是烈.
辉山顶上练过武,真爱迪厅嗨过舞,天下英雄皆入土,沈阳儿女就是虎.
方型广场流过汗,东北饭店吃过饭,也曾弯弓射大雁,沈阳儿女就是赞.
彩电塔上吹过风,领事馆前耍酒疯,万山览遍此为峰,沈阳儿女就是凶.
派出所里睡过觉,公安局里报过到,曾与将军驱虎豹,沈阳儿女就是冒.
八一公园翻过本,金碧辉煌吸过粉,千秋家国血未冷,沈阳儿女就是狠.
正文:
IBM和Google近期合作开发了一个新项目,每公司投资约2000万美元给几所著名大学,用来开发新一代的计算机程序技术--”Cloud”.Cloud可以更大限度的进行网络资源的共享,比如只要某一局域网内的某一台计算机运行某一软件,其它计算机都可以同时登录并使用它。(偶极其不专业地狭隘地解释)
从某种程度来说,人类每时每该刻都在浪费巨大的计算机资源,几乎所有计算机绝大部分时间内CPU、内存以及硬盘都没有在全负荷的工作(也从某一侧面反映出大家周围的几乎所有资源都没达到最优)。对于这一点,偶有两点想和大家分享:
1.上周四组里开会,组里一个师兄向我们展示了他参与开发的一个免费软件。这个软件可以实现这样的功能:服务器把需要进行计算的任务打包发给实验室局域网内的没有在满负荷工作的计算机(我们实验室里每个人都可以用自己的用户名登录所有人的计算机),这些计算机分别完成它们自己的计算任务,之后将结果反馈给服务器。这样将他需要十几小时完成的计算任务在几分钟内完成,相当炫。
2.地理课上说世界上有很多水库,因为服务区晚上用电量小,而且交流电又不好被很好储存,很多晚上发的电都被浪费掉。有一些水库就利用这些本应该被浪费掉的电将水库下游的水抽上来,将没有办法储存的电能转化成水的势能储存起来,等到白天的时候再转化成电能。
类似的,偶大三的时候对国狗说,我们能不能把计算机这种没有被利用的能力转化成某种东西储存起来,在大规模需要它的时候,再释放出来。不过后来就一直没了想法--也难怪,现在世上有能量守恒,还未有计算能力守恒之类的理论。不过也难说,如果未来某天,有人可以将计算机的计算能力与某种可以储存的东东互相转化,那么偶们可以将如此巨大的未被利用的计算机资源利用起来,更好地为人类服务。
PS:After kicking PSU’s ass yesterday, OSU go on leading the whole league, yeach~~
                  2007 NCAA Football Rankings – Week 9 (Oct. 28)
  071028_rank


财富与感情—观《色戒》& 门小娟&杨大牛补考卷子

Posted by gaomingwu on October 21, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 18 Comments
     电驴上有相当多的《色戒》,钟丽缇的,美国土著的,以及西藏和尚的一些莫名其妙的《色戒》,还有打着《色戒精彩片段》幌子的不入流的AV,只是没有李安的。在香港的小欣和在加州的杨大牛、史化石好久前就已经看掉,好在周五《色戒》终于在Columbus上映,我、娘娘和铭铭兴致勃勃地前往观摩。
    鉴于即将参与一次有组织有预谋,参与人数众多的A片观摩盛会,大家电影前在希腊餐馆里,边用膳边交流一些自己A片的相关经验,对各自关心的问题进行了讨论,在很多方面达成了共识。会议的主要议程有:
    a.A片都放在硬盘的什么地方,文件夹的名称是什么。
    b.A片来自何处。
    c.比较好的网站
    PS1:俺补充了一则故事,当年大四刚搬玉泉,六月联盟帐号不开放注册,林教授刚好有个帐号,于是五班六班的男生一直共用这个帐号。后来突然有一天帐号不好用了,大家都骂谁tmd把密码改了。后来才知道该帐号长久不发贴,已经被删除—-看贴不回危害大
    d.在网上搜A片的关键字。
    PS2:这个相当重要,很多人在搜索的时候都相当不得法,比如铭铭开玩笑说可以搜“黄片”。“黄片”俺倒没搜过,只是在大四饥渴难耐的时候在baidu上搜过“黄书”,搜索结果大家可以自己尝试。
    大家交流甚欢,教学相长,不想本来不多的进食时间很快过去,只得匆匆打包了事。
    据号称看过所有张爱铃书的娘娘讲,《色戒》相当尊重原著,只是在很细小的地方被李安创了新。俺很不喜欢张爱铃、琼瑶、于心雨等中国当代号称作家书,所以感觉情节上还是有些一般。
    一直心里在想为什么以打入汪精卫政府要员的内部,以肉体奉献祖国的女特务王佳芝为卖点的这部电影居然可以在香港甚至未来的大陆上映(记得我上初中的时候,张国荣在国内的《红色恋人》里也有些比较火的场面,后被广电总局好像以丑化革命者形象为由禁掉,血本无归),后来才知道那女特务王佳芝(后称女革命者)是为当时的重庆政府卖命。
    性爱场面因为没有删减,相当多,相当气势滂沱,波澜壮阔,采用了很多体位,如果真的要我说它和普通的A片有什么区别的话,就是里面竟然没有用到每部A片必有的“小狗式”,也算独树一帜。
    令我比较汗的是女革命者王佳芝之前一直对汉奸易先生疾恶如仇,却突然在易先生和她去取送给她的六克拉的钻戒时,也就是其它革命者已经埋伏好准备干掉易先生的时间和地点,动了真情。结果易先生逃掉,女革命者和除老吴(娘娘居然从这个老吴联想到宪哥…)外的同志们被害。
   《Titanic》的女主人公Rose并不想嫁钢铁大亨儿子,却在钢铁大亨儿子为讨她欢心送她the heart of the ocean时说:"…It is overwelming…"。印象相当深。overwelming,无法抗拒,有钱可使磨推鬼。
    不过即使如此,我也要说女革命者相当蠢,蠢到认为六克拉的钻戒可以像它的价值一样代表易先生对自已的感情。金钱和财富可以带来物质上的,以及和物质相关的精神上的满足,每个人当然都有权力追求它们,追求自己定义的幸福。它们可以带来你所定义的幸福,但绝不是可以代表对方对自己感情的载体和媒介。 一个人对你的感情不在于他为你奉献了多少,而在于他/她奉献的对他/她自己的重要程度。就好比评价同样给了杭州路边无依无靠母子2元钱的两人,其中一人月收入400,另一人月收入10000。同样的,对于那些不愿意付杭州公交车2元车费的农民工们,我们是没有权力说他们素质低下—-有本事大家都用自己日常生活一顿甚至两顿饭的钱去坐一趟公交车。
    财富可能和大家想要的幸福相关,每个人都有权力去追求。
    然而对方给了你财富和财富相关幸福,不代表对方对你有相应的感情。
***********************************************************
答门小娟调查问卷 & 被门小娟洗脑后的未婚夫小马哥答案欣赏

小马哥被迫害至此,偶申表同情和遗憾
 
1.最享受的是什么?
和有趣的人在一起~~(我的答案,后同)
//和lp一起玩~ (//后为门小娟未婚夫小马哥所做的相关答案,后同)
2. 你认为分手后的男女朋友还能做普通朋友么?
没有过女朋友,不知道
3.你怎么知道自己喜欢一个人?
主动和她接近,没事找她唠嗑,不是给她割草就是朗诵诗歌,还总找机会向他暗送秋波。
4.最痛恨的事是什么?
觉得没有什么事情值得痛恨,都是可以理解的。
//betray
5.你相信承诺吗?为什么?
单方面承诺不相信,双方面的承诺不知道。
//相信。
6.你现阶段最大的愿望是什么?
每天都快快乐乐的~
//事业爱情双丰收。
7.你最大愿望是什么?
可以实现所有愿望。
8.  最想去哪个地方?为什么?
只要是没去的地方都想去啊~
9.你最困惑的问题是什么?
中国的未来究竟将走向何方
10.最受不了自己的哪个缺点?
之前比较痛恨自己小农阶级的局限性,现在自我觉得随着历史条件的改变,已经突破了这个局限性。
11.最快乐的事情是什么?
同1
//同1
12.心情不好的时候会怎么样?
好像已经好久没有心情不好了,理解别人和自己呗。
13.打算过什么样的生活?
快乐的生活~
14.你最喜欢什么电影?
死亡诗社、蒙娜丽莎的微笑、阿甘正传(每次看它们都有好多的共鸣)
15.我做了对不起你的事,你怎么对我?
  女性朋友无论做什么我都无条件的理解和原谅
//宽容一下啦
16说你对“珍惜”理解,简单叙述一下
把心理的珍惜编码成行动,让自己和对方(或没有对方)在解码的时候相信自己已经在珍惜。
17.如何向你爱的人表达你的爱意?
Make her happy
18 什么样的情况下,会原谅背叛你的人?
试着理解,理解不了就不原谅
//一般都会原谅吧
19.你最想要什么东西呢?
幸福的生活
//幸福的生活
20.最希望心仪的一半是怎样的性格?
可以互相取悦
//lp这样的性格
21.你希望我们是什么关系?
your husband’s best man
//白头偕老~
22.如果你前男(女)友回来找你和好,你会愿意和好么?
假设的前提都不成立…
//当然不会拉
23.请形容一下你理想(妄想)中的结婚场景吧,包括结婚对象
《如果.爱》里最后一段,张学友和周迅婚礼的场景。
不过那种稍微有点难度,自己希望自己婚礼的时候可以抱着爱妻,像人猿泰山一样从大厅的三四层的样子拉一个绳子滑下来,相当炫~~
//lp爱怎样就怎样
24.一生中最让你受不了的是什么?
都挺好啊,都相当受得了
25.如果那个他(她)不爱你了,而你还爱着他(她)怎么办?
没那么复杂。爱又未必能在一起,不爱又未必不是好事。
//再追
26.这一生你最难忘的事?
当年有人问贝利他认为自己的哪个进球最精彩,他说的是下一个。
//和lp一起每天都难忘~
27.你最希望实现的3个愿望是什么?
可以实现所有愿望
//1. 大家都健康幸福
//2. 和lp一起白头偕老
//3. 事业有成
28.你最想变成什么样的人?
想做什么就做什么的人。
29.你认为世界什么无法改变,只能无奈的接受?
自己在每时每刻都在错失很多甚至连自己都不知道的机会来更好的生活。
30.遇到自己的理想型,会主动去搭讪吗?如果会,用什么方法呢?
会的。有困难要上,没有困难创造困难也要上~
//没了~
*******************************************************
        答祸国秧民的杨大牛的调查问卷
 
1认为分手后的男女朋友还能做普通朋友么?
  没有过女朋友,不知道
2.你怎么知道自己喜欢一个人?
主动和她接近,没事找她唠嗑,不是给她割草就是朗诵诗歌,还总找机会向他暗送秋波。
3.你现阶段最大的愿望是什么?
  可以实现所有愿望。
4 最想去什么地方? 
  没去过的地方都想去
5.你最困惑的问题是什么?
  中国的未来究竟将走向何方
6.最受不了自己的哪个缺点?
  之前比较痛恨自己小农阶级的局限性,现在自我觉得随着历史条件的改变,已经突破了这个局限性。
7.最快乐的事情是什么?
  和有趣的人在一起
8.心情不好的时候会怎么样?
  好像已经好久没有心情不好了,理解别人和自己呗。
9.打算过什么样的生活?
  快乐的生活
10.你最喜欢什么电影?
 死亡诗社、蒙娜丽莎的微笑、阿甘正传(每次看它们都有好多的共鸣)
11 我做了对不起你的事,你怎么对我?
  女性朋友无论做什么我都无条件的理解和原谅
12.如何向你爱的人表达你的爱意?
  Make her happy  
13 什么样的情况下,会原谅背叛你的人?
   试着理解,理解不了就不原谅
14.你最想要什么东西呢?
   幸福
15.最希望心仪的一半是怎样的性格?
   可以互相取悦
16.你希望我们是什么关系?
   好朋友
17.如果你前男(女)友回来找你和好,你会愿意和好么?
    假设的前提不成立,没有前女友。
18.请形容一下你理想(妄想)中的结婚场景吧,包括结婚对象
   《如果.爱》里最后一段,张学友和周迅婚礼的场景。
不过那种稍微有点难度,自己希望自己婚礼的时候可以抱着爱妻,像人猿泰山一样从大厅的三四层的样子拉一个绳子滑下来,相当炫~~
19.如果那个他(她)不爱你了,而你还爱着他(她)怎么办?
  没那么复杂。爱又未必能在一起,不爱又未必不是好事。
20.这一生你最难忘的事?
   当年有人问贝利他认为自己的哪个进球最精彩,他说的是下一个。
21.你最想变成什么样的人?
    现在就挺好的啊
22.你认为世界什么无法改变,只能无奈的接受?
   自己在每时每刻都在错失很多甚至连自己都不知道的机会来更好的生活。
23.遇到自己的理想型,会主动去搭讪吗?如果会,用什么方法呢?
   会的,有困难要上,没有困难也要上。  
24。如果看到自己最愛的人熟睡在你面前你會做什麼? 
    画个大猩猩之类的
25:你最想要的5樣東西 
    幸福and blah,blah blah
27:我在你眼裏什麼樣? 
    大牛,各种牛..
28:如何向喜歡的人表白? 
   这个不能雷同啊
29:你在乎別人看你的眼光嗎?會為了眾人的反對放棄自己想要的東西或人嗎?
   会的,不会
30:如果我們不認識..你還想和我做朋友嗎? 
会的
31:怎麼才算真正愛一個人? 
  我不知道啊
32:在什麼時候會想到我?
  MSN上
33:2007年最想幹什麼? 
好好过好每一天
34:最想做什么动物?
不想做动物
35:觉得一直和一个人呆在一起会有一天疲倦吗?(朋友或恋人)
会的。
36:最适合你发呆的地方?
床上
37:你用自己的钱买一件物品的底线价格是多少?买的是什么?
底线价格?不知道…
38:很想睡觉,但又不能睡的时候,你会怎么样?
看点数学书
39:你和心爱的人已经互相知道对方的爱意了,并且接受了对方的爱恋,还会给他(她)写情意绵绵的
情书吗?
学习鲁迅先生给他老婆?最后出个《两地书》和《两地书补遗》?
其实也相当浪漫啊~
40:你喜欢的人拒绝了你第一次追求后,你还会追第二次,第三次吗?
觉得世上没有什么追求的事,喜欢就是喜欢,不喜欢就是不喜欢。
不过如果觉得对方还没发现自己讨人喜欢的地方,如果自己还想,那就会的。
41:你觉得我适合什么样的职业?
超人
42:女人是贤惠重要还是美貌重要?
开心最重要
43:最讨厌我哪里..?最喜欢我哪里..?  ?
哪都不讨厌。 哪都喜欢~
44:你觉得现在什么对你是最重要的?
幸福
45 你会为别人改变自己吗?
会
46觉得自己是个好男人或者好女人吗?为什么?
是吧
47你的下一个旅游地点想好了吗?
洗手间
48在你眼中,我的缺点是什么?
太牛了
49你认为友情和爱情怎样相处才能保持一辈子新鲜?
至少自己的大脑得一辈子新鲜
50.你觉得女生是直发好还是卷发好?(不许回答说因人而异)
直发
51.嗯,你第一眼看到的异性最先注意的部位?
这问题太没水平了,只能先看到哪就注意哪…
52.到现在为止,你最珍惜的是什么?
现在的生活
53.会选择哪个国家定居?
定居…也不知道自己能活多久…
我死后,请把我的骨灰撒在大海里

上周大事记& 超有感觉的照片

Posted by gaomingwu on October 16, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 14 Comments
      上周发生的重要事件有:
1.周日晚6时许,本少爷在15分钟内吃掉了差一小块肉的半只烧鸡(整只鸡1.417kg,从Kroger购得),plus约三两米饭,plus蔬菜少许。欲仙欲死~~
2.经过简单面试,本少爷成为这边AIESEC member,可喜可贺!
汗事1:偶在当年SIFE,ASES&AIESEC@ZJU大满贯得主Iris-Xia的博客吹嘘说“偶成了AIESEC的member啦”,她很热情地鼓励我要好好混,争取被派到中国去实习。真是好人啊…
汗事2:在MSN签名档上炫耀,被AIESEC@ZJU的创始人Shuainan同学指出偶把AIESEC拼成了AISEC—-新手上路,偶怕羞/修…
3.最近开始有点忙了,刚刚经历了一个9:30pm-0:30 amU 3:40am-6:30am睡眠的晚上,有些不爽。
4.没有时间做门小娟和杨大牛的问卷,申请下周补考。
5.在胡导的博客上发现超有感觉的照片,以飨大家。

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Go Bus! Go Bucks! & Go Buckets!

Posted by gaomingwu on October 9, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 13 Comments
After setting my feet on the soil of OSU, a flyer (Fig 1) advertising the free OSU-student-bus shocked me a little bit: Go bus! It was one of tons of worst advertisements that I’ve ever seen. Though in the car-based United States, taking a bus still should never be shamed of. But at the same time, it is abso-fucking-lutely not something to be proud of.
     Fig1: ad advitising for Cota(A company)bus.                                 Fig2.Assumed race bus
They might be environmental protectionists, I guessed. But still, I could not help assuming there might be an kinda annual convention in this city, when F-1 (Formula 1 automobile race) would be annually held. In this convention, all of the teams, no matter Mc Laren or Ferrari, and drivers, no matter Hamilton, Alonso or Schumacher( if not retired) had to take a cota bus (Fig 2) instead of a racecar(Fig 3) to compete. And hundreds of thousands of audience were maniacally yelling:" Go bus! Go bus!…" That was crazy.
 
     Fig 3: F1 formally racecar                           Fig 4: the Buckeye!
I did not realize that was not gonna happen until Buckeye came to my eyes. Buckeye was the mascot of OSU, composed of one man-like pumpkin and one man’s body (Fig 4). Every person and every sports team of OSU commonly share this name—-Buckeye. Whenever we wanna cheer the teams or somebody up, we would yell:"Go Bucks!…" And that’s the reason I have to eliminate "Go bus" from my worst advitisements list.
 
As the Sports Deparment of Ohio State(Kidding), OSU’s Sports was dominating Ohio and ranked top in almost each nation-wide sports rank. We were this nation’s runner-ups in Football (Dammed UFL!) and Basketball (Again, dammed UFL!) last year. After kicking Purdue’s ass last week, our football team has moved to top 3 of this nation. Go Bucks! This year, please let there be a champinionship with me for OSU.
 
My "Go Bucks" was not only for OSU, but also for our beloved Yi in the Milwaukee Bucks. I know I have to double my time watching and reading about NBA (sincerely, but guiltiliy speaking), but Houston Rockets was also my must. 
      Love me, love my dogs.
            —-Love Yi, love my Bucks.
     
 In addition, please allow me to give my best "Go bucks" to my salary. Please come back to me before Oct. 31. I need you and I miss you. —-Love my salary, love my bucks.
           
In the end, I’d like to give my best regards to my water-dipped Hangzhou and Zhejiang University:
   Go buckets! Get the water out of my campus!
 

why retailer should exist in the world

Posted by gaomingwu on October 4, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 5 Comments
During the adventure in Amish Country, accidentally I encountered one dog without a tail. Perhaps he needs one retailer.
P9300136

P9300136

加入Republican Club~~

Posted by gaomingwu on September 30, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 19 Comments
来美20多天,万事顺利得不得了。
 
大老板有钱,相当有钱。第一次见面就向我抱怨每天如何如何忙,如何如何做一个有25+Scientists,70+grad students实验室的lab的头头,还要管自己的group,每天想着怎么把group每年300+万刀的钱花掉--md了,如果花钱真地如此痛苦,偶就很可以理解耶稣为什么如此情愿的为人类受苦。传言组里毕业出来还都很好混,仓中有粮,心里不慌。
 
小老板Kubi人性得令人发指,来了之后也不着急找我,倒是偶十分虚假地14号去要了篇论文。问Kubi,什么时候做报告,他说我现在的电脑还没到,等两周后再说。当时还没有感到Kubi的龙恩浩荡,until今天再拿论文找他。期间十二天,用了三天去了趟West Virginia漂流,查询并且试图融入各种社团和包括MBA的圈子,开了学,干了各种想干的事情。周一的时候看完的论文,觉得还是不要太积极,以免引火上身以致欲火焚身,拖了几天。偶说这篇论文看完了,下步做什么。他说写个ppt文档报告一下。偶问什么时候交。他说:"Whenever you finish it"……--这世上还有王法么?搞得我不得不怀疑到底是他给我发dollar,还是我给他发银子。大老板说已经给我分配了项目,这哥们怎么就不让偶干活呢。真tmd诡异,要是他月底突然向偶要工资,偶就sue他。
 
那天和新来的同个老板的美籍hot妹抱怨此事,她说她比我还闲,叫偶放轻松。此hot妹是上第一节Computational Electromagnetism上认识的,偶开课前放下书包去缓解了一下膀胱内壁的压力,回来发现身边掉下个林妹妹。赶紧搭讪,作为计算电磁这种课唯一名非旁听的女人,丫绝对值得偶搭讪,况且如此hot――丫的存在再次不枉OSU在民间全美mm的hot程度A-的得分,整个校园到处的极其养眼的金发碧眼的大美人,只要身材不差,就绝对的顶级hot――即使这种搞射频电磁波的女博。
 
后来互问住宿情况,她说她和她husband住在一起――偶叉的实在忍无可忍:前两周去West Virginia漂流的时候还在想,和娘娘、铭铭、小佛这一年龄段的人聊天如此开心,是不是自己荒淫过度,被加速衰老。直到开学发现自己平时不得不和一群整天嘴里叨咕着“my daughter gets up late”的韩国女人,“my husband也是ECE专业”的中国女人,“My husband lives with me"的美国女人,以及"我儿子今年中考"的中国女人混在一起上课,才知道偶连中年妇女的杀手都做不聊勒…… 
 
平时尽全力融入美国社会,尽量避免和中国人接触,明天中秋晚会不去,中国人的足球队也不去, that is not the reason i come to this country。平时拼命地多和老美打交道――发现自己的语言和文化背景差得还挺多:在家平时用电脑录音再听原声带纠正自己发音,怒补baseball & football 以即什么政治商业的背景。实在是不忍心再出现一个除少数几个比较熟的老美站在面前,偶叉的像个弱智,根本没法和他们说笑,也没法进行除自身社会属性之外的稍微深一点层次的沟通,更别说什么和他们fooling around。正式加入Republican Club。今年是Columbus市长的竞选,明年是美国总统的竞选,学校里的这种童子军绝对是他们拉拢的重要对像和他们拉拢别人的重要武器。过几天就会有什么door to door for the Republican mayor candidate了,就是挨家挨户的去拉选票,偶要去的。――偶的口号是,珍惜生命,远离华人。
 
PS1:过几天偶会补上West Virginia的游记,再加上今天和房东家去Amish Country的(就是传说一直过着19世纪生活方式(包括没电)的美国部落)
PS2:娘娘,偶想用这两张照片申请加入你们外貌协会,行么?
 

牛顿故事新编

Posted by gaomingwu on September 26, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 15 Comments
                                          牛顿故事新编
1.从前,有个天真无邪的天才少年叫牛顿            2.有一天,突然一个苹果掉从树上掉下
                                                            来,砸到他的头上
3.砸出了几缕思绪。                                    4.这小小的苹果….
5.缘何会从天上滑落?                                    6.这究竟是谁干的…….
7.不是大哥。                                            8.也不是小弟。
9.少他妈装蒜!                                           10.大人,我冤枉啊
11.你说,到底是谁干的?                            12.我也不知道啊
13.我GPS全球定位一下                              14.不是他…
15.不是她…                                          16.也不是他们….
17.莫非难到…                                       18.是你!!!
*****************************************************************
    《牛顿故事新编》图片均选自West Virginia漂流之行,剧组人员如下:

Snoopy&Mickey&Little Bear&福娃’s爱巢,及其它

Posted by gaomingwu on September 12, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 10 Comments
左:偶在美帝的革命根据地,有好多的roommates,分别是Fu Wa(福娃),Little Bear,Mickey &
     Snoopy(按姓氏笔画排序)
     好波,偶承认偶把另一个福娃送给偶的host family勒,偶有罪,请警察叔叔来抓偶~~
右:红牛果然牛啵,早就打入美帝的内部勒。渴勒,累勒,用红牛…
     "Good For Memory Laps"? 原来和在祖国的广告套路是一样滴…
 *************************************************************************************
     Orientation时,大佬们告诉偶们锁车一定要讲究技巧,要把车身、前轮一起锁在固定物上,不然要么车身丢,要么前轮丢,然后被小偷组合成新的贩卖。大佬们说,警察求救经常会找到赃车而无法物规原主,偶猜没有会想要一个车轮波….
     不要不听大哥的话,下图就是你的下场:
    前轮子木有勒吧…说过的,要这样锁车:
 
    md,早知道有人有情绪,这样修理你:
   别不把大哥当干部,搞掉你前轮子教训下你,真正想要的是丫的车座…
PS:偶的车帅波?坐在上面和杭州的817相当有一拼
    (817是偶心目中杭州开起来最拉风的车,咣咣的开…)
****************************************************************************
     美帝果然到处都是松鼠….
 
*************************************************************************

图解飞机转向的基本原理

Posted by gaomingwu on September 6, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 10 Comments
引子:在前往美帝的途中,自己有幸两次坐在了飞机机翼的旁边,得以用相机记录并证明了自己儿时用纸飞机模拟真实飞机各种动作的做法。
 
    小时候喜欢和老哥从五楼的阳台上往下发射各种飞行物。飞行物不同,丢法和乐趣也不同。倘若飞行物是从水枪中喷射出的水,就要讲究发射完后迅速隐蔽,同时讲究水的落点,既要保证击中目标,又不能让目标抬头看的时候怀疑是飞行物是从我们所在阳台发射。
    倘若发射物是纸,就要在发射前将纸加工成飞机,纸屑或花的形状(可以螺旋下降)。当时没接触过什么空气动力学和流体力学,评价飞机好坏的唯一标准就是飞机飞行的距离的长度。后来高中知道了什么伯努力原理,惊叹于飞机上升的诡异,之前一直很土的我,傻傻地认为飞机的机翼就是平板一块,就此对飞机如何转向有了点兴趣,查了一些资料,把自己的纸飞机做了一些改动。结果偶的纸飞机果然可以做出各种动作:左转弯,右转弯,以机身轴线为轴旋转,以两机翼重心连线为轴旋转—-除了苏27那种眼镜蛇机动做不出来外,偶的纸飞机貌似可以做出相当多的动作。原理其实相当简单,就是把主翼后沿向上或向下翻折(如图):
    左右主翼后沿不同的向上或向下的翻折组合和程度,以及纸飞机出手时的速度,会导致纸飞机做出不同的动作,相当有趣。真实的飞机因为比纸飞机多了尾翼和方向翼,更加复杂,但总的原理类似,就是改变各种翼后沿的角度。—-以下是自己有幸拍到的飞机主翼后沿在飞行中的变化情况。
左:飞机在机场正常情况下主翼的状况  右:飞机起飞时主翼的状况
左:飞机在大气平流层(从机身下的白云可以看出)平飞时  右:在平流层平飞时偶尔调整飞行状态
左:飞机下降时     右:飞机着陆后,主翼后沿在保持下降时状况(左图)基础上,开启所有减速板减速
(以上飞机为北京->上海的MU583航班飞机,机型:320)
*****************************************************************
左:飞机在机场等待起飞      右:飞机起飞
(以上为AA4671航班飞机,机型忘了。
(后来还有不少照片,但因为是夜景,自己的手还不停的抖—-自己的相机防抖和夜景不可得兼,照片效果相当不敢见人,故只贴这两片~~)

近况

Posted by gaomingwu on August 29, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 9 Comments
  刚看完世界田径锦标赛110米栏预赛,小翔子发挥依然稳健自如,信心满满。一直很仰慕他,高贵不高傲,充满了八零后男孩所有气质,我喜欢。只是比赛前中后一直穿插着臭名招著的烂女记者冬日娜对赛事的报导和采访,相当的杀风景。冬日娜成名于浙大的BBS,每当她在央视体育新闻中出现的时候,各个体育相关的板面就会出现讨伐她的贴子,长得不上镜也就罢了,但也应该有些智商,问些有水平的问题才是--她的采访就是那点套路,什么天气,对手,比赛状态,一点深度都没有,感觉就像一个对体育运动没有任何理解的门外女(<->门外汉),而且是个智障的门外女。不求你做个杨澜,做个吕邱露微还不行么。
 
  最近一直在考虑,如果自己真的要写个史记的话,应该写个什么体例。想想前辈们的史书,《史记》是纪传体,《国语》是国别体,《资治通鉴》是编年体,还有什么自己也不明白的纪事本末体,并不是史书的《论语》的语录体,自己的史书究竟应该写成什么体例--相当乱。自己在史书中应该会编入自己发布的单曲和照片,多媒体应该是对偶史书富有时代气息的描述。多媒体,偶应该是开创了一种史书体例。
 
  沈阳最近已经有些很凉了,晚上睡觉已经不得不把窗子关上,想想自己即将结束逍遥了近一年的日子,确实有些留恋。祁迹昨天也走了,比我晚回沈阳二十多天的家伙都走了,轮也该轮到到自己了。
 
  前天几在淘宝上淘到一款超cute的花姑娘,足以打开我少男的心扉。90.5 x 55 x 16.5 mm,105g,CDD1/2.5,ISO1250,防抖,拍了几张,效果还很满意。不是很清楚Olympus的相机的口碑,只知道Olympus的显微镜在世界上应该算是一巨牛。作为没什么品味入门级的嫖客,偶满意勒。
  把偶家的花姑娘让大家偷窥下,只许看,不许摸。
 

给小白鼠看黄片——高明武的史记(一)(不定时待续)

Posted by gaomingwu on August 24, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 16 Comments
作者按:
    自己也即将离开伟大的祖国,打入美帝国主义的内部。回首逝去的十六载的学生生活,也许有些事情可能不是每个大家都曾经历过,自己想记录下来,以免记忆随时光而流逝。
    大四帮强化班拍MV的时候,自己官方职务之一是场记。当时对周围的朋友说,我就是一个尚未被阉割的司马迁—–或者是尚未变成ox的bull。如今自己想记录自己的历史,就是自己做自己的司马迁。历史是客观的,但记录历史的人是主观的,这就是为什么至今有人仍因为《三国演义》和《三国志》的差异而争论诸葛亮到底是否三顾茅庐—-自己也难以脱俗。
    (对于现今生活的记录仍然继续)
   
               (一) 给小白鼠看黄片
    大一住紫金港的丹阳。小王子引进两只小白鼠。为了纪念当时的丹阳,一个叫丹丹,一个叫阳阳。
    丹丹和阳阳相当cute,大家都很喜欢。男大当婚,女大当嫁,大家对丹丹和阳阳相当热心,以致都想做月下老人,希望它们结下百年之好,产出爱的结晶—-小小白鼠,然后在学校里贩卖。
    几日下来,丹丹和阳阳都没什么动静,大家比较急,在没有请示湖北生物竞赛一等奖小朱的情况下,把它们强行放在一个透明的盒子里,笔记本电脑上。在电脑里播放最近更新过的,精挑细选的黄片—-没吃过猪肉还没见过猪跑么—-我们就不信精心准备的教学片达不到目的。
    结果相当悲惨,在按照教学计划进行了几天后,丹丹就把阳阳给咬死了。大家都很悲痛,但都觉得这是在不能确定丹丹和阳阳的性别和性取向的情况下,安排如此强度的教学片的必然结果。

硬盘被瞬时分了5个驱

Posted by gaomingwu on August 18, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 10 Comments
    如果说非要把世上的噩梦分类,应该可以分成两种:别人做过的,和别人没做过的。别人做过的,大抵人人相同,譬如《Friends》里的的Ross在第一季的某集突然掉进一个巨坑的那个。
    众人问:“Are you OK?”
    “Nothing but my worst nightmare comes true.”
    别人没做的过,但是我up-to-now worst nightmare的是,偶昨天因为误操作,在5秒钟的时间内把整个硬盘瞬间分成5个驱,硬盘上所有的资料全部毁于一旦。
    平时在学校的时候自己都是利用Ghost备份还原,无论系统多乱,只消7、8分钟,系统立刻恢复到2005年10月17号的最优状态。不过那张盘被划伤,前天中毒后没法恢复,只能自己重装。也好,做张系统盘,到米国用。用的是买到的巨宝的一张装机万能光盘,本子放在床上,鼠标也在—-当初光电鼠刚出世的时候,为了形容它的功能强大,有人说光电鼠可以完全没有问题地在大便上使用。
    大便上不知道,不过光电鼠在床上的表现实在不行,和罗德曼对麦当娜在床上的表现大径庭。进入DOS后,偶本想用鼠标点“进入Ghost”,右手握鼠标,在运动中点左键,结果鼠标意外减速了下,光标在“瞬时将硬盘分成5个驱”在被点了确定。
    结果大家都知道了,整个硬盘5秒种内,在C盘D盘被删除,后被重新分了5个驱,啥都没了。导致偶现在连到了OSU的住址都不知道了。很多重要的信息都没了,自己还得花些时间重新整理。
    —-被我因此骚扰的大家请不要见怪。

老妈故事精编

Posted by gaomingwu on August 13, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 10 Comments
 
1. 像偶这把年纪的人,早有资格风花雪月,花前月下,戚戚我我,享尽天伦之乐。老妈却从没在偶这里得到任何风声,很是如焚,只能主动旁敲侧击,期冀获得有用的情报。不是偶不向领导汇报工作,而是有价值的情报实在太少,导致老妈平日只能悄悄地进军,打枪的不要。
 
  在与敌作战中,老妈经常会把自己隐藏起来,避开敌人的锋芒,其常用的手段是这样的:“儿啊,今天出门遇到你刘姨了。她说她家陈XX(偶幼儿园同学,后在同一高中)在大学里的女朋友是他高中同学,她问我你有没?我说他的事我不知道。儿啊,你说偶这么说对不?”
 
  一旦有什么风吹草动,她就高度紧张。偶电话说周六要陪一个外教去逛街(是一个六十多岁的老太太…),她兴奋得不得了,总算有对象可以被审查了:“去买什么啊”,“是哪国的啊”,“教什么的啊”,“在中国呆多久啊”,直到“多大了啊”而无语。
 
  就算没有对象被审查,老妈也经常地捕风捉影。平日自己大约每周六电话回家一次,若是其它时间打了电话,一定是出了什么并非日常的情况。大二某天,刚看完网络流传甚广的六四学潮的纪录片,内心激动得要命,莫名地突然打电话回家。
  老妈吓了一跳,问偶怎么了,偶说没事。
  她说真的吗,偶说是。
  她问是和同学关系不好了吧,偶说不是。
  她又问"那是和女同学关系不好了吧…..”
 
2. 老妈热心,热心得不得了,是方圆百里的交际花。周围邻居没有不认识她的,也没有她不认识的。尽管早就不住平房,邻里之间的事情她总是如数家珍,和她一起出门,总是有人和她打招呼,搞得偶和偶老爸这种渺小的没有追求的小人物不得不悲惨地生活在她的阴影之下。
  
  一天,她一进家,就心急火燎地给偶和偶爸讲:“完了,奔儿楼感冒了[奔儿楼,发音:benr(二声),lou(轻声),东北话,额头的意思。若说“小明是个大奔儿楼”,就是说小明是个大额头的人。]”偶和偶爸这一听愣了:“老妈,谁是奔儿楼?”
  “奔儿楼你们都不知道是谁啊。”
  “不知道….”
  “奔儿楼不就是一单元那只小白狗吗……”
  
  老妈的热心,不仅仅对待熟人。
  曾经一个陌生人打电话到偶家,说要找李伟。
  老妈接的电话,说偶家没有人叫李伟,你打错电话了吧。
  陌生人说没啊,就是这个电话啊,以前打过好几次了。
  老妈说,不对啊,这个电话偶家用了好几年勒。
  “那就怪了…“
  “你说的那个李伟是干什么的,他什么时候告诉你的这个电话?”
  老妈开始帮助那个陌生人破案。
  陌生人突然不再陌生:“二姐,是你吧?”
  老妈也一愣:“弟弟,是你?”
  陌生人笑翻了:他是喝醉并且拨错电话的老舅。
 
3. 老爸老妈当初是大娘(老爸哥哥的夫人)牵的媒。老爸的身高不高,虽然从来没听老妈对于此的怨言,然而今年春节的时候,老妈high得激动起来:
  “儿子,以后你就说你一米八一(偶实际不穿鞋差一点1.8m,穿上鞋1.81m一点问题也没有),骗小姑娘方便点。妈当初就是上了你爸的当。你大娘把你爸介绍给我的时候说你爸是一米七,偶一听还可以,就给了你爸一个面试的机会,结果后来才发现被骗了,但已经被你爸拐骗来的,也就没办法勒。但你爸的光荣传统是好的,不能丢,你要好好继承下去……”
 
4.  老妈和偶的关系特别好,偶在家的时候,手指甲和脚指甲都是她剪的。偶喜欢躺在她的腿上,等她往偶的嘴里喂桔子的感觉。偶最喜欢的就是醒来大喊:“妈,宝醒了,宝醒了~~~。”老妈就来偶屋,偶就拉住她的手不让她走,如此享受幸福好久后放她离开。
 
5.  老妈少女时期的感情生活?保密,此博早晚会被老爸发现。

干死小日本

Posted by gaomingwu on August 4, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 15 Comments
   

   承蒙神通广大的一点也不诡异的女人的略施小计,我和我哥得以在沈阳的奥体中心观看了2008奥运会试赛--四国邀请赛之中国国奥与日本国奥的比赛。因为08奥运会沈阳,这个当年中国足球走向世界的城市,将作为中国队的主场,因此本次比赛和08年的比赛被炒作成了“梦回沈阳”--自己一直认为这个口号不吉利,苟且觉得这个梦作为名词或动词对国奥的征兆是不一样的。
 
  鉴于大赛组委会之前一直利用各种媒体宣传文明奥运,文明看球,去之前我就想好了一些诸如“干死小日本”和“小日本,我叉你妈”之类的文明用语,以期可以体现中华民族与小日本的团结友爱和沈阳人民的亲切好客。到了之后才发现这场比赛如果没有百人普通球迷或二十个当兵的组成的团队,所有个人的努力就仿佛小河汇入大海,很快被淹没在球场轰轰的叫喊声中。
 
  中国拿球出场大家就woo,小日本一触球出现大家就boo。对于小日本,大家用多种方式表达自己的感情,有人呼口号“打倒日本帝国主义!”,有人唱流行歌曲“大刀向鬼子的头上砍去”,有人利用第二外语和小日本打招呼“巴嘎压路!”--沈阳球迷的文化层次相当不一般,像我这种只会英语的土鳖根本就不敢吱声。
  裁判也被吓坏了,中国金哨奖孙葆洁见到中国队倒地就和众多自己装备了哨子的观众一起吹哨,小日本稍有意见就黄牌,生怕被划成走资本主义路线的当权派。在我这边的边裁也果断地吹掉了一个小日本我认为没有越位的球--坦白的地说这是在我人生中看过的,第一场裁判偏坦的与我支持的球队是同一支球队的比赛。为了更加明确的划清与小日本的的界线,下半场边裁在朱挺一个小飞铲干倒了小日本的左边位后,在距离出事地点三米处的地方坚决的不举旗,同样也表现出了他关键时刻不站错队伍的沉着和睿智。
 
  感觉在现场看球没有在电视看球看那种对这项运动的神秘感,和在学校看球踢球差不多,觉得自己甚至有时可以随时就可以成为他们的一员加入进去。只不过在现场掀人浪实在是太有意思了~。然而虽然人浪由小的粒子--人组成,运动起来又像波,但我可以证明它不具备波粒二相性:球场的人浪并没有波的独立传播特性:两股人浪相遇的时候相互抵消,并不像其它波一样可以独立继续延着自己传播的方向传播。
  哈哈~md,明天俺就投一篇IEEE的Transaction去~~

我们电磁学者竟然是天生的金融矿工(Quant)

Posted by gaomingwu on July 27, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 4 Comments
  如果说微积分和牛顿力学是人类现代科技的理论基础,那么电磁波理论/电磁波和半导体应该是IT领域的物理基础。(我的理解,不知道对不对^_^)所有IT领域与硬件相关的东西,都它们密切相关。谁(包括一个月前的我)能想到电磁波和金融相关得如此之严重。
 
  还在浙大电磁学院的时候就有学长说到美国后他的不少同学就转到到金融,我问岂不是很有难度。他说不是的,电磁波出去直接就可以搞金融了。当时相当不理解,觉得是完全不同的两个领域。看了《My life as a Quant》才知道,md,果然就是一回事情。
  电磁波理论,不严格地说就是解麦克思韦的四个偏微方程--相当一部分方程无法给出解析解。伴随着计算机的发展,计算电磁学(Computational Electromagnetism—-CEM)作为专门解决电磁波领域偏微分方程的一门学科,使得通过编写程序得到较复杂电磁问题(即偏微方程)的数值解成为可能。什么FDTD,FEM,MoM,没有人不会编程用数值方法解偏微方程的。
  而同时据自己到目前为止的鄙见,金融的矿工Quant,有相当一部分工作就是在编程序解金融模型中的偏微方程(想想也可以知道,影响价格的变量如此多,模型不会是常微方程)。
  由此看来,根据我对金融领域相当不成熟的了解,金融和电磁波在数学和物理模型上--这一最核心的问题上基本是一回事情,难怪Finance Engineering又叫什么数理金融…
 
  Who can imagine this….

有东北特色的社会主义市场经济的小伎俩

Posted by gaomingwu on July 24, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 1 Comment
  《沈阳晚报》前天爆光了一起惊天大案,轰动了沈城。
  说的是沈阳一些卖香瓜的城里人为了假装农民,从专门的驴车租赁机构那里以每天几十块钱的价格租一辆驴车。之后赶着驴车在城里卖香瓜。城里人看见他赶着驴车卖香瓜,都觉得香瓜是老农自己家种的,根据以往的经验肯定巨甜无比。于是乎,开车的、骑车的和走道儿的都愿意打的一般,把处于高速行驶中的驴车拦截下来,以比水果店的价格要高20%-%33的价格抢购瓜。
  这世上果然没有做不到,只有想不到。这驴车虽小,却象征着广大在社会主义市场经济浪潮中搏杀的东北人民的智慧和决心,是东北人民迈向小康社会力量的源泉。在这里,我谨建议政府在市府广场树一记驴车雕象,以此纪念驴车在沈阳这一东北老工业基地,以新形象新视野走向明天的里程碑似的意义。
  我深信:东北明天会更好!

被一点也不诡异的女人点名

Posted by gaomingwu on July 23, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 2 Comments
1.从谁那里接到的题目?
  JennyLee
2.2006年最难过的事情是什么?
  我国还处在社会主义初级阶段,人民的生活还不是很富裕。
  //(真实想法--下同)有一些当时很难过的事情,现在想想,已经不难过了。
3.2007年最大的心愿是什么
 海峡两岸早日统一,祖国繁荣昌盛,人民安居乐业。
 //下半年找到和制订出近几年在海外的人生规划,并强力实施。
4.觉得什么样的感觉是爱情?
 虽然自己根本不懂爱情,但觉得爱情只不过是对一对男女处在婚姻之中或以婚姻为远景的一对gays/lesbians/男女之间关系的统称,没有任何实际的意义。
 //感觉这个词已经被用得太烂了,早已没有它在曾经的我心中那样崇高了。
5.在你成长的道路上,有什么事情改变了你、你的人生轨迹?
 祖国的改革开放。
 //很多,除了最要的考试,每被女人拒绝一回,自己就长大很多。
6.哪种类型的异性让你最反感?你喜欢暧昧的感觉么?
 我不反感任何异性,无论她们做什么,我都无限尊重和宽容伟大的女性同志。
 //不太喜欢笨女人。
 个人觉得暧昧是两种截然不同的不暧昧相转换的必经之路。不反感。
7.你心中梦想的情人节是什么样的
 以相邻两次情人节之间的时间为一计量单位年,年底女友可以为我举行一个颁奖典礼,典礼上为我颁发年终奖和奖杯,奖杯上刻着:
 2007-2008年度,中国大陆最佳男朋友:高明武
 //有情人的情人节
8.准备什么时候结婚?
 连女人手都没拉过,结个p婚。
9.你会和现在陪伴你的人结婚么?
  如果可以陪伴我走入婚礼奠堂,没有理由不。
10.在你心中,我是怎样的一个人?
 我在大学阶段遇到的最有趣的女人。
11.如果可以重来,你最想改变的是什么?
 不用重来,等我挣了点钱,在美国找个医疗发达的医院,把脸上的胎记去掉,立马成为万人迷。美国妞,见一个泡一个,为国争光,决不手软!Chow time!
12.你理想的伴侣应该具有什么样的品质?
 雀巢的咖啡伴侣就挺好。
  //至少要对我好.
13.什么才算得上真正的朋友?
 想不明白。
14.过去一年里什么事情让你感动过?
 老爸老妈长久以来对我的好,以及他们现在的开心。
15.最近最让你迷惘的事情是什么?
 今年五月份才明白,婚姻和恋爱原来不是一回事。
16.当你感到迷茫的时候,你会做什么事情?
 搞清楚自己为什么迷茫,消除迷茫。
17.你最近一两年内有没有一个目标和一个具体可行的计划?
   (因考虑未来发展可能遇到的问题,暂且把这条删掉,了解我的人应该早就知道这个问题的答案勒。) 
18.不开心的时候你会做什么?如果是自己关心的人不开心了呢?你会为她做些什么?
 偶有很多爱好冽,都可以做呢~
 拉住她的手说:“你别生气了~~你别生气了~~。”
 如果她还生气,我就还拉住她的手说:“你别生气了~~你别生气了~~。”
 如果她还生气,我就不拉她的手了,说:“你生吧!我让你生!有本是你就生,我倒要看看没有我你能生出个啥样的娃~~
19.目前你谈了几次恋爱?最认真是第几次?
 零次。
  第一次。
20.最遗憾的事情
 没什么遗憾的,祝自己和父母永远健康快乐。

我宣布为昨天天朝队的失利负责

Posted by gaomingwu on July 19, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 10 Comments
     昨天应该是自己自回到沈阳后第一次在黄金时段呆在家中,外面并没有下起传说中100mm水柱的大雨,但绵绵的小雨却凿实是我的最爱。
     20:30是亚洲杯中国队小组赛的最后一场,对乌兹别克,相当重要。上一场在大姨家看对伊朗时,自己在中国2:1领先时被老妈强烈要求回家,当时就对姐夫说:“完了,我在的时候都被追了一球,这我一走肯定更不行了。”自古忠孝不能两全,当时取孝舍忠回家去了,结果预料之中的被追成2:2。很是痛心疾首,深感对不起培育我的祖国和人民。
     本着为中华之崛起的决心和责任感,20:30通过暴力革命把从观看天朝一台的连续剧的老妈从电视机—-这一古老的艺术形式中拉走,舍孝而取忠,欲为中国足球的崛起而再拼搏一个半小时。
     上半时双方踢得相当沉闷,传接球失误不断,乌队明显不停地打天朝队的身后,有几次比较威胁的进攻。由于天朝队的两位大佬,球风一直被世人诟病的李伟峰和郑智两黄停赛,中国队的阵容tmd这叫一个乱,继海竟然打起后腰,方卓兄场打起右边卫,过了会竟和剑卿弟交换了位置打起左边卫—-这世界只有想不到没有做不到。场上效果很显然,相当之乱,几乎没有有威胁的射门。
     下半场实在困得不行,睡了。其间老妈叫过我几次,说要睡的话就正规点,回屋睡。我说,自己就躺一会儿,一会儿起来看个结果。自己果然没有食言,只是用自己的行动把一会儿定义成9个小时了,起来时天已大亮,成功地看了下结果,0:3。追悔不及, I should be there for our win。看见朱广沪在新浪网的新闻上说对不起中国球迷,自己也想开一个新闻发布会说自己对不起中国足球。
     Technically speaking,自己是和中国足球一起成长起来的。1993年中国足球开始职业化联赛,自己也是在那个时候,小学三年级开始和至少比我大两岁的孩子们开始在大街上踢球。94世界杯的两位球星让自己可以有谈资边带球边喊:“巴乔过人啦~"。
     大学后,从一个拥有三支甲A球队的辽宁省来到只有一支甲B球队的浙江,落差非常之大。整天看着报纸广播叫嚣什么浙江绿城今年的目标是甲B保级,想哭的心都有。踢球没有女生看了,不爱踢了,竞技水平下下滑到自己不信。
      同时中国足球的烂事一坨坨:世界杯,亚洲区最基本的小组赛都没出线;亚洲杯正如昨天发生的,小组也没出线。自己中国足球的关注度几乎为0,说不出中超这几年谁是冠军。
     中国足球,何日出头?

应该如何侮辱日本人

Posted by gaomingwu on July 11, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 5 Comments
    还在浙大的时候,去OSU的七八个同学欢聚一堂,想过去,看今朝,我们此起彼伏。
    在谈到如何把大量的行李运到那边时,大家群情激奋,都觉得行李真tmd多,拿不过去。
    我说我们不如拿几个民工(农民工,用在这里绝对是中性词)用的麻袋什么的,到了那边就仍了。
    大家都说我的建议不可取,太影响中国人的形象了。但他们又提不出好的见解。
    我说,好吧,那我们就用麻袋装好行李,然后在上面用鲜明的字体标注上:"I am Japanese."…..

上有天堂;下,真的只有沈阳

Posted by gaomingwu on July 8, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 4 Comments
    漫长地等待,终于换来了迟到的学位证及等等的四个证件,正式了却了杭州四年的生活;伤感和煽情的话实在是不敢多说:再见,我的浙江大学。
    回家前把自己的头发前短勒,再也不能在别人问我头发为何如此之长时说:“在学术圈混不下去,只能在娱乐圈发展。”事实上的主要目的是回家前避避风头—-早有我妈的线人向她报告说她儿子的头发有多少长,多少长。她在N个月来的电话中不停的催我削发立志,虽然在之前的对话中,本人一直宣称要为此事负责,但仍然拖到现在。终于怕在家的两个月受不了她的迫害,只好低调些,两个月后的头发就可以长大到有资格进入美国的娱乐圈啦,卡卡~
 
    上有天堂;下,真的只有沈阳。
    如果我是祥林嫂,我会说:“真的,你们真傻,单知道有个苏杭有天堂,不知道东北也有….”
    昨晚八点左右,火车到了锦州,遇到了大雨,凭借自己高中史地政小科之王的风范,从风向判断出是来自北方的冷锋。到家后根据我妈的描述证实了我的判断:那果然是股冷锋—-六点钟的时候它经过沈阳,也下着大雨,冷锋过境,沈阳凉爽得不得了。现在气温与杭州里开着空调的寝室完全一致, 以后请大家叫沈阳为“骑着空调的城市”,谢谢。
 
     沈阳的路实在是太宽了,开车爽得很。半夜打了个车回来,司机大叔在我家新区的八车道上飙车。坐在副驾驶的我相当切意,突然意识到这哥们一直在从马路中线向相反车道数的第二个反向车道上飙,真他妈的high翻天.
 
     坦白地说,司机大叔的爽不仅体现在如此,在开车拉活这件事业上,他得到了佳人的全力相助。他老伴在火车站的出站口帮他拉客—-比如我,之后带到他的车上。再然后佳人坐在车的后面陪老公把客人—-再比如我,送到目的地,然后再返回车站。他们说晚上只在北站等着拉客,年纪大了,别的地方不敢去。自己很喜欢和羡慕他们的生活方式和生活态度,他们拥有的东北人特有的幽默感深深打动着我:
     司机大叔一边开车,一边向佳人抱怨说昨天晚上窗户没关好,后背着凉了。
     佳人在后面骂他自己懒,不会自己找衣服穿。
     大叔抱怨说自己没人爱,没有给他找衣服。
     佳人说,我爱你,来,我现在光膀子,把衣服给你穿,看你敢不敢穿…..
    
      希望东北人的我也有这种幽默感~ 
 
 PS:朱鹂姐姐,这篇博客写得没感觉,让你失望勒…

永远有多远

Posted by gaomingwu on June 13, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 5 Comments
  记得赵瑞佳在高二时的语文演讲题目是:“永远有多远?”永远有多远,多远算永远?很伤感:对于一个人来讲,没有永恒,没有永远–当时很不理解,至少不愿理解。罗素在谈到自己的爱情观时说:"I would sacrifice all the rest of my life for a few hours of this joy."不知罗老的本意是this joy的伟大,还是这joy的短暂即逝,有花堪折直需折,莫到无花叉叉叉。
 
     完全可以以相当的乐观的精神和勇气看待周遭的一切—-这个世界就是如此。
 
     然而祝自己:
     爱,就好像从没被伤害过;
     奋斗,就好像从没失败过;
     真诚,就好像从没被欺骗过。
     XX,就好像从没XX过….

请大家叫我热心的俄亥俄男孩

Posted by gaomingwu on June 6, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 2 Comments
  前几天参加了个Oversea板的板聚,就被评为了88的热心网友,真的飞来横祸,搞得偶措手不及。而且据说有效期是半年,挺搞…
  之前,兄弟们亲切地叫秦大牛为哈佛女孩,偶觉得自己的风头被抢走了,就逼他们叫我俄亥俄男孩。
  现在好了,有了新的头衔后,请大家叫我热心的俄亥俄男孩,谢谢!

找了个孩他干妈

Posted by gaomingwu on June 3, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 5 Comments
  刚才与RivuletLee在msn亲切会谈,偶说偶要到美国泡个洋妞,为国争光。
  她说想泡洋妞就说想泡洋妞,别和为国争光扯上。
  偶说,以前都是洋人来祖国泡我姐妹,我要为姐妹们报仇血恨。
  她说好,如果有基因优秀的混血后代出现,要做他们的干妈。
  偶也说好,以后就叫你孩他干妈。
  她说,孩子必需是mm或gg。
  偶说,那好吧,偶尽量找个人类泡。

今天又吃了只蚊子

Posted by gaomingwu on June 2, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 2 Comments
  今天晚上参加伊人宝的老总奇特的案例讨论,讨论前偶做自我介绍时,吸了口气,把一只蚊子吃了进去,蚊子当场毙命。这应该是偶自高一军训大合唱吃下第一只蚊子后,以同种方式击毙的第二只蚊子。
  留念~

今天西瓜杯,偶开场20秒就打入一球

Posted by gaomingwu on May 28, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 4 Comments

  今天实在太high了,西瓜杯今天小组赛最后一场,事关我班出线与否。偶开场20秒就一脚极其漂亮有力叼专远射攻入对方一球--用偶班后卫的话讲,“我还在与韩迟商量谁打左边,谁打中间…”记得高中毕业纪念赛的时候,偶有一脚在中圈的远射,差半米挂到死角而没进,算是我高中的遗憾之一。还好这次的记忆还算美好,最后偶班4:1胜,顺利小组出线。

  活活,着实的爽。这应该是我职业生涯最快进球纪录了,立存此照,纪念下。

  出线后中午班搓--现在每天都要fb,昨天是oversea板板聚,平时混合班,强化班,专业班,实验室经常会有f各种b活动,各种组织,各种分类,各种借口,各种组合。fb着很辛苦。

Love板学习体会及饭后感

Posted by gaomingwu on May 24, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 8 Comments
  昨天在越之间bg了王琳同学,以感谢这位高中同学在大学四年里对我的关心、照顾和帮助,其主要事迹有:
  1.给我讲过一个巨搞的事情:她小学六年级时过生日,一个喜欢她的小男孩往她书包里塞了一个信封,里面有10块钱和一封信,信上说:“今天是你的生日,祝你生日快乐。想送你个礼物却不知道送什么好。想来想去还是送给人你10块钱吧,你想买点啥就买点啥…”
     2.上高级英语阅读时每次都把做好的阅读理解借给偶抄交作业(当时已买了两个硕大的苹果作为报答)
  3.自己想看一本68元的《思想的盛宴》,买不起。偶让她买,然后借给我看。她买好看了一暑假,觉得没意思就送给我了。
  4.大二寒假在沈阳新东方寒假同时学TOEFL,坐我旁边,终结了偶至初三时起就一直不得不和男生同桌的恶梦,同时一起去考TOEFL。
  5.其因男友不出国而选择不出国,偶问她为什么,她说偶不知道一个女人想要什么。对偶思想产生巨大冲击和震撼。
  6.典型的东北女生,自己在苦闷的时候掻扰她进行聊天。
 
  昨天主要的议程是我向她请教她对恋爱的观点和看法。双方互相暴料。
  我说自己曾每三天给一个高中女生写没有任何回信的Email,写了一年零九个月,没有恋爱经历,出国前估计拉不到女人的手。她给我讲她的两个男朋友的故事。我说咱来点实在的,你给我讲讲应该怎么追女生。她说不知道,不过可以把所有追过她的男生的伎俩讲给我。我这一听,心都凉了--自己的技巧与正常男人高二时的水平刚好持平。
  我又把自己因没有经验,而经常去88的Love板研究案例的一些感想与她交流,得到如下结论:
  1.从俺的人格魅力看得出俺将来是个办大事的人。
  2.恋爱和婚姻,这种事物有点乱,谁也说不清。
  不会恋爱的男人有以下特征:
  1.爱自己的自尊胜过爱对方。
  2.女人对自己有一点好意就会yy其对自己有意思。
  3.心胸狭隘,对小事斤斤计较。
     4.一言蔽之,他们只不过在和自己谈恋爱。
  
  饭后感:偶不正常,以后要和王琳这种正常的人多交往。

自己给自己的祝福

Posted by gaomingwu on May 19, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 6 Comments

娱乐圈不好混啊--俺在毕业晚会的节目被和谐掉了

Posted by gaomingwu on May 16, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 8 Comments

 

  先认为形式太单薄,当领导关注后就认为在有校友出席的毕业晚会上显得竺院的学生太颓废,自己先和谐了下,改了一下。领导先说可以,后来又说不让上了,彻底给和谐了。

  节目是大学生自习室进行曲改成了竺院进行曲,唱得应该是没什么问题,和谐就和谐了吧,没什么了不起的。自己在准备节目的过程中也学到了不少的东西,看了不少的MTV,找了不少的舞蹈素材,对于表演有了自己新的认识--自己现在看舞台表演和主持的时候就不觉的会关注他们的动作。算是入门了。在这里我必须表达一下对杨牧和郝晶的感激之情,你们做人做事的风格确实值得我好好地学习。当然我还要感谢亚楠的主动帮忙,王志宇和吴志宁的协助,潘老师对这个节目的关心和鼓励。

  要是在以前,自己早就抑郁了,但现在不顺心的事遇到得多了,人生本来就是不完美的。

  下面公布下没被自己和谐过的,和自己和谐了下,但最终仍被彻底和谐了的作品:

  自己和谐前的作品: 

    啦啦啦啦啦
    耀!耀!耀!滑步上场,今年高考不错,挺牛B轰轰的,我们毕业进竺院,这的确挺爽的,我一大暑假早早的跑来进浙大,心里琢磨着竺院生活是多么美好啊(肩部动作:后倾――后前左右)

在竺院还得积极点,不是于是乎我就搞了N个学分的课(侧身右指,身体左右扭)课上课下乎乎猛学的牛淫还挺多,他们做得那个几米多维我就忍啊,但是交完作业的同学怎么着不知道共享呢,你们回回满分的,这是搞十么呢(左手前指)

不一会我课表里就排满了天书也(单手四周点,加脚部动作)可这竺院的气氛可就有点不对劲了,咋就不对劲呢,咋就不对劲呢(右肘内靠,腿内倾)

(双膝叉的动作)鲍世宁上的是普通物理,真是有力有热啊,有光有电啊,根本没把那我这天才放在眼里,我心说算了,还是少损两句,毕竟俺们不是纯洁的断臂关系(左右晃肩,手)
  (单手向下,脚尖点地,晃臀)后面常微偏微,他多少有点离谱,平时上课讲题,搞得没人听懂,莫非他是传说中的学霸杀手,不然俺们退考怎么就稀里花啦没完,可是抗抗挂人得有时有晌啊,你这叨咕叨咕的拉普拉斯能不能改成开卷

(肘头前换,另一手下压)后来信号系统,他就十分乖巧,只是各种变换像造坑一样没完没了,这插值卷积地花样还真不少,我心想傅里叶你太贱B了

(第二个的1:10)之后的数据结构程序一千多行,可是哥哥俺的代码不能吃内存没完没了,一会的功夫你都死了五遍了,有啥bug你不能一气搞定呢

(模特步一个来回)这时候走进一个美丽的女孩,她盯着我,我的位置走了过来(抓胸襟向上)我这心里扑腾扑腾得开始乱跳(女人pose,兰花指)她停在我面前说,这个实验我已经搞定了(用手指头)真是莫名其妙,是不是她在搞笑(转一圈(peach2:00,用一手遮头))可是她竟从书包里拿出实验报告

(半蹲下晃肩,配合抬脚)姓名没看清楚,可是看清"牛B"俩字,再看这位大小姐正得意的看着我(兰花指),她得意的笑,她得意的笑,那种感觉就像(前倾挺胸,掐腰)小样,你是竺院的吗

最后一声得,还是发扬风格,考不起我,我还挂不起么我,(街舞学的前后登腿)我考考考考考考考,我挂挂挂挂挂挂,我挂哪疙瘩去啊
  (杰克逊冲击波那段)只要功夫深(就是),铁杵磨成针(就是),皇天还不负我这样的烂仔有心人(就是),最终我找到了一个安静的角落,心想终于终于可以重修了

(拳向下,同侧腿内侧+Jackson挺臀)实变函数学十遍,常微分学常没分,数理方程没天理,泛函分析心犯寒,微分拓扑躲不脱,随机过程随机过,微机原理闹危机,量子力学量力学,机械制图机械制,汇编语言不会编。

(左右晃腿)忽然间一个ID窜上了88,迅雷不及掩耳之势在贴子上写着,刚刚收到offer,加州理工,收到小小offer,哈佛剑桥,我一刷信箱,我考,怎么才斯坦福,你们这帮家伙简直他妈的强悍,我背起书包骂了一句very well 这就是俺们的浙大俺们的竺院,这就是俺们的浙大俺们的竺院

和自己和谐了下,但最终仍被彻底和谐了的作品:

今年高考不错,挺牛气轰轰的,我们毕业进竺院,这的确挺爽的,我一大暑假早早的跑来进浙大,心里琢磨着竺院生活是多么美好啊,在竺院还得积极点,不是于是乎我就选了N个学分的课,课上课下乎乎猛学的牛人还挺多,他们做得那个几米多维我就忍啊,但是交完作业的同学怎么着不知道共享呢,你们回回满分的,这是搞十么呢,

不一会我课表里就排满了天书也,可这竺院的气氛可就有点不对劲了,咋就不对劲呢,咋就不对劲呢

最先上的是普通物理,真是有力有热啊,有光有电啊,根本没把那我这天才放在眼里,我心说算了,还是少说两句,毕竟人家是纯粹的经典物理

后面常微偏微,多少有点难度,平时课后作业,搞得没人能做,莫非他是传说中的学霸杀手,不然俺们头痛怎么就稀里花啦没完,可是不画重点得有时有晌啊,这叨咕叨咕的拉普拉斯能不能改成开卷,

  后来信号系统,他就十分乖巧,只是各种变换像造坑一样没完没了,这插值卷积地花样还真不少,我心想傅里叶你复杂了

  之后的数据结构代码一千多行,可是哥哥俺的程序不能吃内存没完没了,一会的功夫你都死了五遍了,有啥bug你不能一气搞定呢

  这时候走进一个美丽的女孩,她盯着我,我的位置走了过来,我这心里扑腾扑腾得开始乱跳,她停在我面前说,这个实验我已经搞定了,真是莫名其妙,是不是她在搞笑,可是她竟从书包里拿出实验报告

  姓名没看清楚,可是看清学霸俩字,再看这位大小姐正得意的看着我,她得意的笑,她得意的笑,那种感觉就像,小样,你是竺院的吗

最后一声得,还是发扬风格,挂不起我,我还学不起么我,我学学学我学学学,我学学学我学学学,我学哪疙瘩去啊,

只要功夫深(就是),铁杵磨成针(就是),皇天还不负我这样的自习有心人(就是),最终我找到了一个安静的角落,心想终于终于可以学习了

实变函数学十遍,常微分学常没分,数理方程没天理,泛函分析心犯寒,微分拓扑躲不脱,随机过程随机过,微机原理闹危机,量子力学量力学,机械制图机械制,汇编语言不会编。

忽然间一个ID窜上了88,迅雷不及掩耳之势在贴子上写着,刚刚收到offer,加州理工,收到小小offer,哈佛剑桥,我一刷信箱,我晕,怎么才斯坦福,你们这帮家伙简直实在是强悍
  我背起书包来了一句very well,这就是俺们的浙大俺们的竺院,这就是俺们的浙大俺们的竺院

 

现在正调的一块电路板,及板上的一个电阻

Posted by gaomingwu on May 6, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 1 Comment
  照片不是很清晰,请谅~
  毕设等任务之一是要调N块板子,现在一块也没调好。一是自己懒,二是自己玩了,三是这叉的板子太难调了。
  如图一所示:
  这是一块基带BPSK的调制板,从板子和本人手的大小可以看出板子之小--原因是现在芯片的集成度高,体积也变小,电阻等器件也随之变小。外加这是一块射频的板子,以后要像手机电路板一样小巧,所以不得不小。
  图二是板上的一个电阻(封装是0402,即长4mm,宽2mm),与该板子的对比--无论是芯片还是电阻,都需要我们人工去焊接,可见任务之繁重,细微。
  请注意:从图一板上飞出n根线,请大家不要小瞧这n板线,这不是传统意义上的飞线:因为学长把板上一个芯片的封装画错了,为了先验证板子原理上的可行,我们需要飞出一块芯片…..
     飞成的结果如图三所示(照片明天可以上传 ^_^)
 
  算是做个实验报告,给没经验的大家扫扫盲~

终于不再有理想

Posted by gaomingwu on April 30, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 4 Comments
     老罗曾在他的讲台上讲过很多关于理想主义者的论据与论调,主张大家像他一样做一个理想主义者,不论如何被骗,依然每次都在确认躺在地上的老太太不是上次骗他的那个后去救她。但同时对以前曾经是诗人的理想主义者的朋友,迫于生活而沦为犬儒主义者表示理解,但也表达了对于这样的犬儒主义者回头嘲笑像老罗这样的理想主义者的愤怒。
     20多天前,与自己和至少绝大多数高中男生认为的世界上最善良的人—-樊华同学在Q上聊,她的天真浪漫依然令人感动。她保研主动不去北大,留在了人大。我问她以后想干什么,她说想当教授。自己吃了一惊,问她真的吗。她说不是。我说我就觉得不太有女人主动想当教授吧,我觉得挺没意思的。她说她最想去当幼儿园的老师。
     我说,大美人,你不是搞我吧。她说我不严肃。自己想想像她那样纯真的人也许真的就属于那里。突然她问了我一个令我也许永远不能忘怀的问题:
     “大印,你还想当国家主席吗?”
     回想高中的时候在班里,在班外,在主任和校长前都信誓旦旦地说自己要当国家主席,甚至现在回校的时候主任还在说,这不是国家主席回来了吗。可是现没有理想,没有任何冲动可以让自己在众人面前郑重宣布自己怎样。
      只能对她说:“至少我曾经年轻过。”这应该是我能想到的对于这种问题最完美的解嘲。
      没有理想,理想就是多挣钱—-如果挣钱也算是理想的话。
      自己曾标榜自己是犬儒的理想主义者,现在看来已经退化成纯粹的犬儒主义者了,整天想的就是如何多挣钱娶老婆,忘记了自己曾经还有理想。
      至于像樊华同学一样的理想主义者,愿她们可以存活下来…

申请结果及EM@OSU的介绍

Posted by gaomingwu on April 26, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 1 Comment
  今年只收到两个offer:
     ECE@OSU
     ECE@UC-Davis
  最后去了OSU,2007usnews的排名专业20,综合37,在美国第15大城市Columbus,是个金融中心,据说美国前5大金融公司的总部就在那里,是俄亥俄州的首府,大城市的职能应该都有,州内制造业发达,为自己随时改行创造了条件。消费低,以他们现在给我的钱来看,每个月能余下不少的钱,可以用它们来做一些想做的事。
     OSU的电磁波组实在牛,号称美国largest and most historic的射频组,领先美国电磁及射频研究50年。组里养了67个研究生,9prof.,16 research scientists.校友据说遍布业内。
  去做天线或射频器件,自己的导师是那个组的组长,以后找工作的人脉应该不是问题,还向我说有个项目一钱经费100+万美元,所以决定去了。
  决定去了,自己很开心,觉得自己在米国那边的发展社会发展空间巨大,who knows what I will be in the future~~

发表一篇初中一年写的奇诗

Posted by gaomingwu on April 19, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. Leave a comment
作者注:
     1.本诗为本人原创,转载需注明出处。
  2.本诗为长篇叙事史诗,记录了解放战争时期,一将领因对信息的真实性判断错误,而没有采取必要的行动,导致全军覆没,自己也牺牲的悲惨故事。诗后还有作者的评价,认为这种事情的发生,即使将领视死如归也是没有任何意义的。
  3.本诗源于初中一年时乱翻《现代汉语辞典》,发现与shi谐音的字实在众多,于是乎有了创作冲动,用shi的谐音字靠翻字典,组合了一首诗。拿给初中班主任看,她让我抄在一张纸上后贴在班级黑板上--好像没有人看懂,只有地理张老师问过我这什么… 现在淘古出来,以飨大家。
  4.这首诗的出现,也导致自己对于现代诗的无比鄙夷之情--大哥翻字典就能写出一首…
 
 
 题目:              事实?失实?
 
 第一节:             四时失事。
                 事实?失实?
                 视事实似失实:
                 “是事失实,
                  适时实施!”
 
 第二节:              十时,
                 失实是失实,
                  始思实施:
                 “是时失势,
                  师士实施!”
                  侍士是死,
                  时是死时。
                  视死似屎。
 
第三节:              视屎?是屎!

偶是个让男人们放心的男人 ~~>.<~~

Posted by gaomingwu on April 9, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. Leave a comment
  昨日QQ上遇见大便,厮说今日厮会携爱妃下江南,周五左右到杭州游玩。我说好,自己正好闲,去接他们再陪他们玩。厮说好,还说一般人他都不敢求,说只有偶的魅力值实在让他放心,不用担心偶能把他的爱妃抢跑…很伤心,魅力值不够。不过回忆下长久来的遭遇,不得不感叹自己平时杀的怪太少,英雄等级太低;又没钱,买不了好的装备,要不然买他n个魅力指环,每秒魅力值加m*n点,还怕个毛。
 
  想想自己能让男人们放心的原因不仅如此,自己伟大的审美观与他们的占据了不同的生态位,也大大减小了自己在他们心中的危险系数。当年住蓝田的时候,自己睡得早,有时躺着躺着忽然郁闷着郁闷着就冲着没睡的三个死鬼喊:“AAA好好看啊…"于是就得到三人的强烈bs,说我的审美实在有问题,我不服,说那好,你们说谁好看,咱们拿出照片当场论证。于是他们推举了一个。我们品头论足,结果往往是显然的。不得不决定打电话给别人做裁判,让他做个了断,以判断我的审美观是不是有问题。不过无论怎样,好像除了我以外,没有人认为我的审美观是正常的。这种事情发生无数次,论证的对象和举证人各不相同,但从来没有人的观点和我一样。
 
  那时不太相信自己的审美真的有问题,以为他们在玩这样一种类似的游戏:哲学里在讲“我”这个概念的时候,举了一个例子,说有一天一个班里的所有孩子想和一个叫刘三的人开个玩笑,所有的人都叫刘三李四,都说他们从来不不知道有刘三这个人。开始的时候刘三还以为他们在开玩笑,时间长了,刘三开始怀疑自己是不是真的就是李四,是不是世上根本就没有刘三这个人,于是陷入了巨大的恐慌,回家就问妈妈自己到是叫刘三还是李四…
 
  呵呵,想想也没什么不好,自己从来就希望与别人不同,尽管路途上有很多的血和泪~~

明天去义乌

Posted by gaomingwu on April 6, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 1 Comment
  打算明早4点起床去义乌,想把自己能想到的一些盈利方式验证&考察一下。义乌应该是自己的第一站,本来是打算和与王侃交流一下做事情的经验和规则后再去的,但他迟迟不来杭州,外加自己实在闲,就只能先行动了。
  叉的,老子要挣钱娶老婆!
  只是不知道能不能赶得上周日的街舞班,让宇博兄失望。
 

万恶的两个学校

Posted by gaomingwu on March 24, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 9 Comments
   1.Princeton
   2.UIC

   今年因为申请了太多的牛校,搜集了不少各种牛校的拒信。拒信风情万种,然则有两家的拒信偶久久不能释怀:Princton和UIC,厮们分别把我拒了,而且分别两次。

   都分别是系里一封,研院一封,内容各不相同,什么regret to say,什么unfortunately,让自己开始怀疑是不是做了什么对不起他们的事情,使他们沦为受害者。

   其中以UIC的行为最令人发指:本来就是我的唯一保底学校,二月份就拒了我。2月6日寄出一封内容相对简单,落款说这封信也会抄给研院一份,还说研院的拒信过几天就会到。果然研院的信8日寄出,内容相当豪迈有气势。

   难道世上没有王法了吗!

    将斯们公布于众,供大家唾弃。

生活惨淡

Posted by gaomingwu on January 5, 2007
Posted in: Uncategorized. 13 Comments

  最近的日子实在是不能再惨淡了,情绪巨大的波折,有病,挂了,头痛眼花,不是一般的小恙。没有人表示关心,除了昨晚徐寅在我关灯睡觉的时候主动表示要在唱了N首歌后少唱一首,来表示一下对一个想要睡觉的人的关怀和同情。

  很久不得病。前年暑假学校兽医院、浙一和市三院的多次误诊让我忍受了多月的病楚,痊愈后我把所有的药就都扔了,发誓再也不吃药。此后一直没有病,直到去年十月份和兄弟们从古兰轩吃回来,挂了后向徐寅要药,他问怎么连药都没有,我说我没有药。说得很屌。最近情绪的巨大波动终于又把我挂了。一代伟人轰然倒下,这就是为什么这几天杭州一直在不停的下雨。

  上午和国狗一起在玉泉的小雨中找电话送成绩--我喜欢雨,很喜欢。如果是小雨,我就喜欢自己有一天可以很喜欢的女生在玉泉里漫步;如果是仿佛只有沈阳有的那种大雨,我就希望可以和兄弟们在网吧玩到深夜后冒雨赶到离网巴最近的哥们家过夜。国狗去买电话卡,我呆呆的站在电话亭边垃圾房旁和大树们的中间。小雨并不能阻止众多的麻雀在垃圾房边抢夺食物。许多小鸟,许许多多。小时候自己也曾在家旁麻雀经常活动的地方放一个筐,支一个棍,棍上系一个长长的绳子,散一些米,埋伏好。期寄有智商比我低的麻雀下来饥不择食,圆我的一回闰土梦。惨淡的事实只证明了我家那片没有小鸟比我智商低。

  不过好像玉泉有很多野猫,就像曾经的紫金港有许多的野狗。相当长的一段时间,我一直在为玉泉的众多小鸟担心。BBC曾经的一个科普节目介绍说猫占据了城市和乡镇生态系统中最具破坏性的生态位--它们几乎可以吃所有生活在树丛中的小动物,鸟当然包括在内。不过玉泉的猫的日子好像不是那们太好过,至少鸟儿我还可以看到很多。不过这些猫也是懂人情。有好几次夜里路过商贾园的时候,看见有小猫拦住pp的小姐姐或小妹妹,如果得手了,就上前用身子蹭她们的裤子,乞求她们可以把自己带回家。紫金港的回民餐厅那也有一只猫,近几个月每次去吃饭的时候都能看见它,看见它向在外面吃饭的人喵喵,想要吃饭。自己要离开浙大了,已经开始怀念自己的青丛岁月。

  一年前启真湖的那两只小鸭子,你们现在还好吗。大一时紫金港东北角的那块湿地里的那只很野生的水鸟,你现在它还好吗。在西2那边唱歌陪我考G的那对情侣鸟,你们还好吗。之江的求是虫,你们还好吗。

  我的大学生活,你现在还好吗?

全寝开始进化

Posted by gaomingwu on December 16, 2006
Posted in: Uncategorized. Leave a comment
     昨晚回来的时候传来噩耗:鹏鹏在关洗手间门的时候把类似于门把手一类的东西诡异的掉
进了洗手间的池子里,被堵住。今天找人来修,修理者说他没有发现里面有什么东西,于是就
走了--导致我寝的洗手间在可以预见的未来都将处于如下状态:水可以流下去,但由排遗产
生的固体物质无法被冲走。
  全寝都傻了,不能以后不排遗啊~~

  虽然固体在无限长的时间内看都是液体,液体在无限短的时间内看都是固体,但我们芸芸
众生根本就不配谈论无限。

    开了个临时会议讨论了一下:
  偶智商比较低,认为应该借一下隔壁的钥匙,把他们寝当作我们的洗手间。
  徐寅认为我们应该换个寝室。
  小朱认为因为一个洗手间换寝太赔了。
  
  最后大家终于想出了一个好办法:
  以后大家就都拉稀,天天地拉。这样产生的液体就都可以被冲走了。

  为了成为适者,全寝只好开始进化。

偶要发粪涂墙!

Posted by gaomingwu on December 15, 2006
Posted in: Uncategorized. Leave a comment
  全身心的投入对面试的准备。
  上午陪澳大利亚的团转了紫金港,该团的两大美女全在我的掌握之下--只是和该团最高最pp的Louis关系不错,而另一个也相当可以的Jena和Louis来自同一学校,所以也一直在一起走。只不过最近好累,大脑运转不灵,越走越累,很是辛苦。
  下午1点中开组会,提了不少问题,也学到很多东东,然后又和浩刚兄在南京的师兄联系了一下,要到技术手册--已是头昏眼花。赶快去吃饭。回来时看到图书馆门口人声顶沸,问旁边的一兄弟出了什么事。被告知伊能静过来签名售书。偶就问是不是日本的那个伊能静。很显然,那两个兄弟对我如此眇视尹很是眇视,说是台湾的。回到实验室,师兄师姐也在议论此事,说什么尹的皮肤有多么多么的好--仁者见仁,淫者见淫。
  不知道。
  偶只知道尹好老了。偶小学的时候尹就出道了,不知道长什么样,没有感觉,把尹刻划成狐狸精的样子。
 
  现在在实验室依旧大脑僵直地学习做事情为面试准备,却一直把赖达鹏做为我心中的榜样:
  此大牛长期把进麦肯锡人作为自己的奋斗目标,前一阵子为了准备面试和同道者在寝室自己准备小黑板练case。拿到offer后,在Work板连载了数篇文章,掀起了浙大咨询业的热潮,可以预见,他的举动绝对会对浙大毕业生求职起到巨大的影响和作用--很是仰慕。自己多么希望也可以像他一样掀起浙大留学牛校的热潮啊。
 
  前几天,偶在02文科班的弟弟短信向我炫耀说他9月考的四门注会(注册会计师)考试全过--很是Orz.据说这个考试不管一次考几门,很少有人不挂科的过掉一门的。如果再考虑到他GRE的verbal 670,AW 5.5的话,他绝对可以在我众多的偶像list中占据一个位置。
 
  唉,身边无数牛人催偶奋进,偶也要发粪涂墙才是。

终于可以写博聊~~

Posted by gaomingwu on December 14, 2006
Posted in: Uncategorized. Leave a comment
  早就想更新博,但每次用寝室的电脑打开博后想写日记,跳出的对话框中的文本栏总是不被激活,最终的效果就是自己只能用十几个字在标题栏处把事情写清楚。去问晓徨该怎么办,他同寝的吴凯亮相当善良,告诉我说他也遇到过这个问题,等一个小时就好了…自己自知的文字功力和耐心程度均十分不行,只好作罢。

 
a.孔金瓯这几天在电磁学院给研究生上高级电磁学,自己和国狗也过来听。
 听课期间,每当想到当今电磁学的太斗正在给自己上课,自己就有一种想跪下给他磕头的冲动--自己一直在想磕头和忍住不磕之间徘徊,相当痛苦。
 真太仰慕了。
 很平易近人,讲课超牛,超清晰易懂--这才是大牛的作风:最受不了的就是有些烂人在上面讲课,学生越觉得难,他就越觉得自己有成就感。比较典型的就是上概率的黄柏琴:课上得没的说,也很认真负责,就是总爱出一些莫名其妙的问题。我在她期末考试前的答疑时就问她:“老师,您是不是觉得这样折磨我们很有快感?”她说不是,这些都是基本概念。who knows?
 
   孔大牛的课,周二一场,刚才也听了一场,未来的几周还要有。记得自己前几周查MIT的EECS的网页上还看到,上面的头条新闻就是他得到法国对为本国科学做出巨大贡献的外国教授的大奖--这个老爷子相当的青春,估计快70了,精神不是一般的抖搂,一边讲课一边做出华尔斯的舞步--想像得出年青时也是笑傲情场的把妹高手。
 
b.前几天收到平生第一封情书,激动得很--是那天从紫金港回来的时候在桌上看到的,是敬爱的楼长给偶写的:
 
高明武同学:
  学习再忙,卫生还是要注意的。
  另外,你桌下的接线也太乱了,很不安全,希望抽空
理理好吗?
 
           楼长
            06.12.12
    其实楼长虽然现在青春不再,但明眼人很容易看出她当年绝对是个万人迷--即便是现在也相当有几分姿色的。但这封以亲情为主题的亲笔信还是另自己不能不崩溃。
 
c.材料基本都寄好了,还留了几个学校的名额用作机动。前几天开始正式去教9自修。
  感觉自己是个饕餮,终于可以全身心的学点东东了,自今年初从家过来起就没有真正的安心看过书。计划看论文和几本经典的教材,总结在浩刚兄那的项目,准备发起新一轮的套瓷攻势和主动打电话到美国那边主要要求面试。
  教9好冷,导致自己的抗利尿素秘太少,经常的去bashroom,同时向其它教室偷窥,看见已保研的钟犁安静的自修--混合班里除了自己总是有些人让自己感动。
 

盆腔共鸣

Posted by gaomingwu on November 2, 2006
Posted in: Uncategorized. 2 Comments
与扬扬一起吃完早餐,推车走。
我给扬扬唱歌,唱了好多。问好不好听。
厮说不知道。
偶说偶的共鸣怎么样。
厮说:听得出,是盆腔共鸣…
妈的,瞧不起老子。
老子做的明明是膀胱共鸣!

yy和发呆

Posted by gaomingwu on November 2, 2006
Posted in: Uncategorized. Leave a comment
在电影里看到的最经典的yy是这样的,Friends某一集(大概的情节好像是这样的)
(Ross, Monica, Chandler在Joey的房里)
Monica to Chandler: were you dating XXX?
Chandler: Yes, but it was a long time ago.
Monica to Ross: was she beautiful?
(Chandler made eyes to Ross)
Ross: No~~
(Ross背对着Monica向Chandler用双手在胸前形容出两个大波波,同时made eyes to Chandler, Chandler nodded)
(Joey in)
Monica to Joey: Do you know XXX?
Joey: Yes, she..(描述她漂亮,很Chamming,但好像说胸小)
Chandler: No! it’s BBB. XXX is(也做大波波状)
Ross: Wow ~~(同时和Chandler 一起凝视远方,yy中)
Joey: Wow(也加入进来,一起凝视远方)
Monica: Joey! You even didn’t know her!
Joey: Whatever!
 
现实生活中比较经典的yy是这样的:
半月前班里男生一起去古兰轩吃饭,刚好龙嫂在龙哥寝室,就叫着一起去了。龙嫂以为还有别的女生,结果近20个男生只有她一个女生,吃到一半就叫走了,龙哥送她。开始讨论龙哥还会不会回来,分析龙嫂所在学校离这的远近…亮亮突然说他们开房去了吧?有人推理:如果这样的话,那估计龙哥5分钟之后肯定回来了--全场近20个男生突然静了下来,微笑。5秒后,鹏鹏发话:都别想了,有什么好想的…
 
公共场合比较经典的发呆是这样的:
前几天去听一个宣讲会,Q&A session, 一个老美在前面回答,一个新加坡的人也站着陪。突然老美思维受阻,凝望着他右上角的天花板,开始一个字一个字的说话。新加坡人觉得会场和自己都受到了冷漠,就也和老美一起凝望右上角的天花板。两个人呆呆地在台上出神地望着远方,让我想起一张当年杨元庆刚从柳传志接过大权后类似的一张照片。不过当时的蓄意好像是畅想联想美好的明天,这两位大哥的造型可要酷很多,而且其中一个人竟然还在慢慢地发声。
 
私人场合比较经典的发呆是这样的:
三个人一起在四食堂吃早饭,津来很快吃好了,偶和高海源继续吃。津来什么也不做,直勾勾地盯着桌子看了好几分钟。我打断他:津来,你在干什么?津来说:我在发呆--很可爱。之后每次见到津来的时候我都会让他给我表演个发呆。

老胳膊老腿不听使换了…

Posted by gaomingwu on October 30, 2006
Posted in: Uncategorized. Leave a comment
和04itp踢完球,一整天的腰酸背痛腿抽筋。老了,不中用。走起路来仿佛帕金森的患者。在教9遇在哲哲,他见到我说我好酷--自己对他的发言很是满意,觉得他每次见到我都会重复亘古不变的真理,相当满意;虽然这回在“好酷”前面他还加有“步伐”二字,自己只当他喜欢偶的Jackson的太空舞步。
 
晚上拖着太空舞步,出使了一下西域,与蕃帮的公主在亲切友好的气氛进行了会谈,就各自关心的问题交换了各自的看法,在很多方面达成了共识。高明武表示,国际局势如此复杂,知识经济才初现端倪,双方要本着合作进取的态度,最大限度地推进两国经济的发展,积极保持周边地区的繁荣与稳定。蕃帮的公主表示,恐怖主义已经成为阻碍世界经济发展的主要障碍,双方应不遗余力地加强合作,不惜一切代价打击恐怖主义的嚣张气焰。双方正要就朝核问题进行进一步的切商--突然来了一只狗,把蕃帮的公主吓跑了。虽然自己也很灰常害怕,但是不想被发现走太空舞步的太空舞步实在是走不快,落在了后面,希望可以造成宠辱不惊,遇狗不乱的高大形象。把蕃帮的公主送回宫,自己也班师回朝。
 
回来继续装天杀的ADS软件。上半年装的时候还相当可以,但觉得盘太花了,就自己刻了两份,一份给了超大的学长,他好像暑假的时候就装好了,自己的那份已经装了三天。以为是系统的问题,回来后用Ghost十分钟把C盘还原到2005年11月17日的状态,还是不行。找出花了的盘装下,居然好用。--不过今天早上发现outlook里的那些邮件没备份,都没了,包括和教授套瓷的那些,扼腕叹息。
 
继续忙申请--只能用这种方法消除心中对未来的恐怖和不安。
 

胡core对我说:”But I like girl…”

Posted by gaomingwu on October 28, 2006
Posted in: Uncategorized. 2 Comments
昨天傍晚去吃饭的时候又遇见了胡core(见上一篇博^_^),说自己根据自己学习英语的经验给他买了一个礼物,一本书,还说自己很乐意教他汉语,同时练练自己的英语。他很开心,说他很急于找一个人教他汉语。
 
我说自己给他设计了一套汉语学习的计划,要从口语中常用的slang学起。并且当场教了他一个:"if a male came along, you can greet him: 帅哥,你好吗?" 还给他解释了下,说帅哥就是handsome boy的意思。他很confused,告诉说:"but I like girl…"老外果然实惠。后来告诉他这是一种最快缩短自己和别人距离的打招呼方法,还告诉他以后见到男的就喊帅哥,不管他帅不帅,老不老;见到女的就喊美女,不管她靓不靓,老不老。他若有所得,兴奋得不得了。
 
约好明天下午进行我们第一次的互助,他让我电话他。明天要先去zjg和04itp踢场球,然后回来找他吧.
 
想好了,先拿他做个偶教育的改革实验,实验的成果将被用到偶儿子的教育上。卡卡!

最近不能再诡异了

Posted by gaomingwu on October 26, 2006
Posted in: Uncategorized. 2 Comments
     在上海的地铁站,向右望,左边来了个60多岁的大妈,叫住我问:“老师傅,莘庄是坐这边的车吧?”七窍流血。

     虽然是成熟的魅力男,但最多也只是在高三的时候被人问是不是大三,这样突然的打击很是无法接受。
     总结下,如果同样的话同样的人说出来效果有时相近,有时不同:
     被60多岁的大妈和20岁的妙龄女郎问:“ 老师傅,莘庄是走这边的车吧?”的效果差不多。
     不过被60多岁的大妈和20多的妙龄女郎叫帅哥就大相径庭。
     自己初中在沈阳路上走的时候就无意间听一群老太太大谈流行乐,其中一个相当煽情地慷慨陈词:“你还别说,谢廷峰那小伙还真挺帅。。。。”
 
     周一在31舍楼下等梅杰,还他信誉卡,他说要从教9赶回来。两个老外和登记mm交涉。看得出,老外的野心不小,试图用刚学过的十多个汉字把事情搞定:“这”然后一顿比划,“不”然后又一顿比划……自己去帮了个忙,在登记mm面前也露了个相。和老外交流了一下,女的自豪的说她的中国名叫安娜,男的说他叫胡哥,都来自墨西哥。对于前者,不知道这是不是一个中国名字;不过我可以确信后者是中华人民共和国主席的尊称。
     第二天早上从食堂回来又看见这位胡core,向我要了电话,说我们可以做partner,他练汉语,我练英语。刚才去新华书店买了本汉语口语学习的书,打算送给他。不过最近要很忙,挤个时间吧。
 
     前天24点睡觉,昨天2点起来去上海—-应该国狗去的,不过天杀的他还要考G,只能我代劳了。本来在网上查火车是在3:39开车。3:16到的我被告知这趟车在3:12开走了,下一趟要6:50。只能买了票。在椅子上极ws的躺到那时候上车。坐地铁到离目的地最近的地方,打了个车,结果上海堵车,用了30多分钟才到。下车,是一个大展览馆,门口有很多不同会议的横幅。有个男的把一个会议证塞到我手里,我一看还真是我要去的那个,感慨会议组织者的工作做得太到位了,想说声谢谢就走。男的直勾勾的盯着我,我觉得不太对,天真地问:“是免费的吗?”男的说哪里有免费的东西。我说了声叉你妈,把证给他就走。留他在后面骂骂的—-叉的了,如果老子心情好就打110把他送进去。
     进去,说明身分,领了该领的东西就往杭州走。路过上海博物馆,进附属商店看了下,发现里面女服务生的英语相当的了得,自己很汗。没有买到坐票,找了个角落坐在地上睡,第一次停车,想问离杭州还有几站,旁边的人都很诧异的瞪着我,说这站就是杭州站。
 
     精神愰忽,只能抖搂精神了。
 

热烈庆祝0305班男生无一人考研!

Posted by gaomingwu on October 15, 2006
Posted in: Uncategorized. 4 Comments
周五的时候巴帝狗去了上交面试,随即就把协议签了,至此我们班除准备出国的男人外,所有男人都已保研或直博。那些保了研的和直了博的每四个人分成一组,以组为单位报告全体男生。昨天是我们寝除我之外的博士加上亮亮bg,一起去了古兰轩。吃得相当high,今天早上自己还一点也不饿,肚子鼓鼓的。中午上课回来鹏鹏还向我反映,说肚子太胀,吃不下饭……好在我们吃完了我们还是走回的yq,不然会死得灰常惨。
 
路过了很多家色情场所,在三敦见得多了,不足为怪。怪得是有一家门口竟贴出了休闲20元的海报,很是诧异。前几天钱江晚报报导说,经记者走访,杭州色情业的最低收费是30元—-由昨天我们的遭遇可知:报导相当的不准确。看来色情业在杭州也相当不好做,全国各地的女人受生活所迫,来到这里做西施—-正如报上说来自东欧的妓女已经严重冲击西欧色情业的格局。
 
初中的时候看读者,说一个在广州的从业者给家乡的姐妹写信说:“此处钱多,人傻,速来。”当时觉得很夸张,后来见多不怪,再后来就完全可以理解了。刚来杭州的时候,听杭州来的同学说,九十代的某一年,杭州对色情业打击得相当严重,以致于杭州当年远远从全国十大旅游城市的排名中消失了。估计后来市领导也把这一行业当成了烟草业,成了为GDP的great contributor,只不过前者是直接的,后者是间接的罢了。
 

完全崩溃:老板让我帮他审一篇SCI的文章…….

Posted by gaomingwu on October 13, 2006
Posted in: Uncategorized. Leave a comment
前几天老板说不给我写推荐信,说我没给他干什么。
确实跟他一起做的时间不多,但确实做了不少事情。只是自己一直没和他交流,他以为我什么东西都没做,实际上自己申请样片,复印书,想方案,一样都不少。
 
昨天交流的时候,和皇甫老师以及学长一起,终于让他觉得我们之前的进度是不得不这么慢—-这是做硬件,实打实,和软件完全不是一回事。今天把所有要找的芯片全都找到,可以说,在可以预见的四个月内,不会有太大的困难,他很开心。从晚8点开始又和我讨论方案—-ms他对射频的东西基本不懂,我给他当了两个小时的家教。最后他说今天很开心,以后要和我多交流—-最后又补充了句:“实际上就是你给我讲”……后来又说可以给我写推荐信,并说如果我以后想申计算电磁的话,他愿意给我推荐(这话我信,去年混合班的一个学姐就是他和杜老师一起推到Univ. of Washington(top 15)的。
 
临走的时候说让我帮他审几个稿子,拿出两篇,一篇是孔大牛主持的Progress in Electromagnetism Research Symposium 2007( PIERS)sci索引的。PIERS2005是在杭州开的,自己还去了下,和孔大牛合了张影,无比荣幸。另一篇是个中文的—-相当晕:讲得无比毕加索ized,极抽象,完全不懂—-最崩溃的是有半张纸只有一个公式,而且是小字号的字,并且其中只有一个等号。老板也不懂,问我感不感兴趣,我说主要是不知道他在说什么,于是老板又凝视了那文章三分钟,说了句很人性化的话:“这苦还是我来吃吧”。
 
承认自己对他以前有一定偏见。
 

贴封比较积极的回复from Berkeley

Posted by gaomingwu on October 11, 2006
Posted in: Uncategorized. 3 Comments
今早刷出的两封邮件中的一封:
Mingwu,
 
Thanks for the note and for your interest.  The best way to proceed would be for you to apply to Berkeley through the normal procedure.  At UC Berkeley, first-year students without other forms of funding are typically supported by departmental fellowships – this gives students the opportunity to get to know the faculty and projects within the department before comitting to a particular research group.  Because of this, I typically like to work with a student for a semester or so before I officially accept them into my research group – again, to give us both the opportunity to get to know each other better.  So, when/if you are admitted to Berkeley, I’d be happy to chat with you some more about potential projects.
 
Best of luck and looking forward to reading your application,
 
XXX
 
    兴奋了一天,以为自己可以变态到可以用Berkeley作为自己的保底学校。
    晚上仔细分析了一下,远不是那么回事。
    只不过这个教授是刚到Berkeley,急找人干活,才回复我这么积极。
    还要近半年的时间要过,什么事情都可能发生。
    不过,偶还是一定要好好地傍住他。卡卡!

成了博士之家

Posted by gaomingwu on October 10, 2006
Posted in: Uncategorized. 1 Comment
      最近开始抑郁,莫名的,不莫名的。
 
      寝室现在已经成了博士之家,除我之外的三人都直了博,我出去了多半也是读博。
      大家的称呼也都改了,高博士,朱博士,李博士和徐博士;
      还有英文版的:Doctor Gao, Dr. Zhu, Dr. Li and Dr. Xu。
     
      和鹏鹏出去打饭的时候经常会遇到12楼的博士,样子挺恐怖的。我就故意地伤鹏鹏的心:他就是你的未来啊。鹏鹏很怕。
 
      徐寅也还是和以前一样在上网&玩游戏,只是经常无缘无故地自言自语:“我还要像这样在电脑前坐6年,可怎么办啊。”
 
      小朱昨天第一次使用了tower rush战术,用人族把网上的一哥们挂了,向我炫耀。我鼓励他说,小朱你只用了三年就魔兽就已经这么厉害了,六年后你肯定老厉害了。他说六年后想进校队…
 
      自己的申请方向还没定,很诡议。最近套瓷了六个教授,只有一个Standford的教授回了—-就是上次说的那个,现在想想,他的回复可以向好的方向理解,也可以向中性的方向理解,只是自己总是给自己创造美好的愿景才觉得他是积极的回复。鹏鹏说他想选虞露作他博导,但虞露也回了封诡异的信,说如果名额没有限制的话就会收他—既可以向积极方向理解,也可以不。
      我对鹏鹏说如果虞露最后要你的话,我就可以去Standford。
      鹏鹏说好。
      我倒觉得,如果我是鹏鹏的话我就说不。因为我是根本不可能去Standford的,这样他也就根本跟不了虞露了。
      懊悔连累了鹏鹏。
 
      申请进展很慢,自己不满意。
      11月还要去香港一周,焦头烂额。
      现在开始不挂88了,cheer自己up&&抓紧时间!
 

第四次上十大,卡卡!

Posted by gaomingwu on October 7, 2006
Posted in: Uncategorized. 7 Comments
      本以为昨天下午就已经发出了第一封套瓷信,晚上一鼓作气,又发了两篇。
      临睡的时候才发现自己的Outlook根本就不能发信,前三封信根本就没有发出去。
      找晓徨帮我重新设置了一下,好用了。
      也好,正好要改这三封信的题目,塞翁失马了。
 
      没想到一小时再刷邮箱的时候居然有一个教授回信了:
      Please apply for admission to our Ph.D. program. Once you’ve been admitted, I’ll be happy to discuss research opportunities with you.
 
      可能对外人看来,这封信并不能说明什么问题,但对于自己,激动了一个晚上—-徐寅上床的时候自己还没有睡着:
      这个学校实在太牛了,不能不令我彻夜不眠—-如果彻夜不眠就可以去这样的学位的话,自己甘愿彻夜不眠一万年。
      而且自己当时是问他Prof. XX, could you please have a look at my resume and papers and tell me whether you could see any chance for me to have a position in your group or whether I need to do something else for your further consideration?, yy这个回信已经相当positive了:只要有了addmitance,就比较有机会得到他的RA啦~~~~
      开心得不得了。
 
      因为对program的概念不熟,所在去o板问了下。
      结果意外地被水上十大,也很开心,不过感觉没什么技术含量。
      如果是被顶上十大的话就好了。

first resume has been sent, finally.

Posted by gaomingwu on October 7, 2006
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      after a long time revision, the first resume has been sent
      the reason for this time-consumption is that:
      I want it to be perfect, definitely
      every word counts and every sentence matters
 
      too many defeats in dealing with the relations of people have been tasted
      too many damned interviews have been sufferred
      too many unspeakable pains have been taken
      in the process of growth, i’v paid too much
 
      no dout for me to absorb lessons from those experiences and lauch my new sailing.
      let me go—-here i am!
****************************************************************
      I began to be  extremely attracted by the TV play series of Appentice with its Chinese name 学徒. yesterday morning
      so tempted i am that, i got over the season 4 this noon, even without any dragging the status bar of the player
      besides Prison Break,it let me do it again
      with respect of recruitment, it triggered the resonance of my experience of recruiting agents in colleges as a supervisor of China Daily in Hangzhou
      preparing to be recruited by other guys
      emergently, i will seek for what the boss is looking for in the candicates’ qualities:
      what he hates, what he likes, what kinds of words or behaviors can generate what kind of feelings of the boss.
      every subtle detail can make things different
      what’s shock me more is the words and behaviors the boss hate—-i’v got most of them
     that’s reason i like it
     hopfully, you guys can have a look at it
     you won’t regret it

今天一身男人香

Posted by gaomingwu on October 5, 2006
Posted in: Uncategorized. 5 Comments
    昨天晚上丹丹来的时候,用徐寅的古龙水在我的脖子上喷了好几下,导致我一直在发香。
    今天鹏鹏围着我转了好多圈,一边转一边叫,好香啊,都这么久了还这么香。
    我期望他会得出我很有男人味的结论,他却说徐寅的古龙水质量很好—-很是失望。
    《女人香》里的上尉闻香识女人,很ym,对香水没有什么研究,只知道它是通过什么来保持持久的香味的:
    高中的化学老师上课时给我们讲,说好的香水里的各种大小的分子的数量是有一个特殊的分布的,小的分子会较快的挥发,大的分子会较慢挥发,这样就可以使被喷了香水的人,可以在相当一段时间内,以相对衡定的速度散发香气的。
    不过,很明显,行难于知。
 
    简历终于完工,明天就可以开始搔扰教授了。
    明天陈沛就要回家,羡慕得不得了。
    祝她一路顺风吧!

热烈庆祝昨天和丹丹打网球,打球时间约等于捡球时间

Posted by gaomingwu on October 4, 2006
Posted in: Uncategorized. 2 Comments
      好久都没运动了,整天不是坐在电脑前,就是睡觉,自己想要保持的体形眼见得一天天坏下去。
      经常地做恶梦,梦见自己某一天起床的时候突然发现自己长了硕大无比的肚子—-狠可怕。
      有个美女对我说,长了大肚子的男人很恶心。
      我倒觉得大肚子的男人很可悲,有和某些有特殊功能的女人一样的装备,却没有同样的功能。
      前几天给妈咪打电话,妈咪说Daddy让我多多运动,保护好身体,说Daddy看出国的相关信息,上面说如果真的到了美国,感个冒就要花3万多的RMB—-虽然明知道有医保这回事,但也不想为了多花老美的钱,耗尽美国的国库而和用自己的身体与之同归于尽。
      于是昨天上午9点多就给丹丹打电话,一起去打网球。
      感觉自己的网球水平一直在不停的提高,很开心。昨天我和丹丹打球的时间比上捡球的时间已经约等于1了。
      想想大四的时间还是很空,自己一定要好好地享受生活,一定要把喜欢运动水平达到一个新的高度。
     
      为此,现在许几个愿:
      游泳:希望自己在不忘记蛙泳和仰泳的基础上,学会自由泳和蝶泳(蝶泳为甚,太眩了,回头率巨高,感觉用来泡小mm极其有用)
      台球:把上位杆和下位杆练好就满意了。
      足球:可以不怕脏地去新桥门的土场去踢。独一点,单纯地讲究整体配合,自己永远也成不了明星。
      篮球:可以在单纯定点篮和上篮较好的基础上在运球上有大长进。
      网球:打球时间:捡球时间>3
      乒乓:比程豪打得好。
      羽毛:有机会打打。(感觉没什么技术含量,小学时就打得挺好。)
      交谊舞:至少得到了舞厅能有机会请小mm被踩脚。     
 
      希望上面许的愿可以全部实现。

希望这里可以给自己和别人带来快乐

Posted by gaomingwu on October 2, 2006
Posted in: Uncategorized. Leave a comment
      其实今年六月末,考完本科最后一门需要牵肠的考试后就已经偷偷在gmail的空间上写了篇,想以此为契机,开创高明武博客生涯。
      当时徐静蕾把她博上的东东出了本书,被我看到,并以鼻子嗤之。
      觉得连她那种才智都可以写博,并且爬出的格子还可以不可以被粘贴复制,自己很不舒服;
      最近考虑到前一阵子韩寒和一群低智商人在网上骂,自己很是羡慕他,觉得他有那么多弱智可以被他骂,并且还有众多的观众观摩,他真是爽得欲仙欲死。自己就不行了,有生以来从来没有毫无顾忌的,完全凭借智商和逻辑去骂别人,完全没有。
      在BrainStorm当板主就更好久不敢了:在那里,我先是口无遮拦,后是偃旗息鼓,再后是装傻充嫩,现在是坐井观天。
      希望有个地方可以做一个可以任意灌水的空间。
      于是开使写博了,
     
       希望关心爱护我的大家可以多多留言,寒舍蓬荜升辉。

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