1. Lizzy was painting the wall of the hallway the other day and I asked her when she was gonna finish. She told me the next day. However she didn’t finish it the next day and I asked her why, when she told me it took her longer than she thought. I was like, “Well, that’s OK, but I just wanna remind you that you are a liar…”
2. We’ve got a secret Santa party and I was supposed to give cool Jordan a gift without revealing my identity so that he can guess three times who gave the gift to him. I bought a Tshirt and a card for him. The cover of the card says, “A friend to have sex with.” Inside I wrote using my left hand like, “Keep your door unlocked tonight, seriously. -Lizzy” Of course Jordan didn’t guess it was me with 3 guesses and Lizzy was mad at me…
3.1 We were cooking and hanging out in the kitchen yesterday and came to the topic of diarrhea for some reason. Cool Jordan was like, “You know there are different kinds of diarrhea. There is explosive diarrhea, leaky diarrhea and things in between…”
3.2 We kept talking and decided we should have a poop contest in the house to see figure out who has: the longest poop, the thickest poop, the fastest poop, the slowest poop, the most painful poop, the prettiest poop, the ugliest poop and even the most solid poop…
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This was my last secret Santa party at Phoenix. Everything will be heavily missed!