Fun in My Life

1. Brian C, John and I went out jogging during lunch. Brian said he needed to change really quick. I asked, “How quick? As quick as John’s sex?”

2. Anahis said her parents would like to bury their bodies after death. Shreya thought it was a waste of land. I agreed and joked like, “Anahis, can I suggest your parents bury themselves vertically instead of horizontally?”

3. Brian C is very eloquent. I joked with him like, “Hey Brian, I like the way you talk. You sound like you know what you are talking about…”

4. Red Sox played World Series against LA dodger last year. On Oct 26th, the two teams played 18 innings and Red Sox lost. It was the longest game in world series in term of innings and made many records in MLB history for its lengthy process. The next day, ESPN website claimed the game to be the longest loss in Red Rox history…

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Visited Smoky Mountains the weekend before the last. Totally unreal synchronous fire flies! In Absolute Awe! The meaning of my life has been temporarily fulfilled. Met many amazing animals too! So much fun!

1. Jeff’s daughter was coming to Boston from Texas for holiday. She asked Jeff what she could bring as gift. Jeff was not sure. I was like, “You can ask her to bring some gas…” (gas is way cheaper in Texas.)

2. Claire, the beer committee captain, emailed us asking who would like to choose the beer for next order.” Corey said he would like to do it if nobody else would like to lobby for their libation. I was like, “Ordering beer is huge responsibility. People will judge based on the beer I chose. Too risky for my reputation. I hereby decide to judge Corey instead of being judged…”

3. Corey mentioned a movie which is about another movie. Manish was like, “Because meta-data is data about data, that movie should be a ‘meta-movie'”

4. The Art of Computer Programming is a long but classic book in programming written by a legendary professor. It was actually Bill Gates that wrote its preface, in which he said: “You should definitely send me a résumé if you can read the whole thing…”

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Took my very first boat in life to see the foliage during fall. Totally in awe..

1. John wore turtle neck shirt to work and I told him Steve Jobs liked to do the same. He asked me why I did not do so. I joked with him by saying, “I don’t have the over-confidence..”

2. I paid a visit to the dentist’s and overheard one customer representative say, “I am losing my mind”, because she couldn’t remember where she placed some stuff. One minute later she found the stuff and I told her, “I am glad you found your mind…”

3. Moham’s head phone’s microphone was not working, but the ear pieces were. I told him, “I think it is suggesting you speak less and listen more..”

4. We hired someone with a name Sandy couldn’t pronounce. She complained about it. I was like, “We should put in the job description that ‘Candidate should have a name easy to pronounce. A candidate named Sam or John is a plus..'”

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A house Albert Einstein lived for 20 years

1. Will said my jokes were not funny. I was not happy. Therefore I asked Anahis for a favor, “Anahis, can you tell Will his jokes are not funny?” She did. And I was happy.

2. At the end of Will’s internship, people went out for lunch together. I asked him, “Will, tell us what have you learned from us, especially from me?”

3. We were watching the penalty shoot out between Denmark and England. I joked with people, “I like watching penalty shoot out. I enjoy seeing people under pressure…” John joked back saying, “You can be a good boss..”

4. David was from Britain. I wore England’s jersey on the day of world cup game between England and Croatia to give David emotional support.

Meanwhile, I joked with Rishi like, “You should cheer for England too. India used to be part of Britain.” Vishal explained radically like, “No, they were just their slaves…”

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Meteor Shower on the ocean.#100 days old BBQ party of Lipin’s baby 

1. Will and Sameera walked towards me in the hall way. I formed fake a gun using my hand and joked to shoot them twice. Will pretended to get shot but Sammera appeared as if nothing had happened. I questioned Sameera like, “What happened to you? You just got shot. I shot twice. ” Will explained for Sameera like, “You are a terrible shooter and twice were both on me.”

2. I visited the zoo a few years ago, saw an elephant sucking dirt from the ground using his nose and spraying the dirt on his back. My friends asked why the elephant was doing that. I was like, “Maybe he is trying to get himself dirty and keep people away from riding on them?”

3. I was at Shaochen’s graduation ceremony a few years ago and happened to sit between a lady and her daughter, named Sara. For some reason the lady was trying to hook me up with her daughter and firstly asked me, “Are you single?” I went, “Yes.” The lady kept asking, “Are you gay?” I went, “No.” All of a sudden, she introduced me to her daughter, “Sara, this is Barton. Barton, this is Sara..”

(For more about this lady, please click my post on 2015.12.27 )

4. (The punch line of this piece has to be delivered in Chinese)

去年我和去一个聚会吃饭，遇到一个中国妹子叫Luna。我突然问她，”Luna，你是不是姓’撸’?”

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Washed Jerry the other days, which reminded me of many good times we shared in the past 5.5 years.

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1. We were having work lunch and Christine teased me by staring at my food as if she was gonna eat it. I was totally freaked out, “Come on, Christine, you are making my food very uncomfortable!”

2. Montana and Christine told me a cheesy pick up line by performing. Christine pretended to be a guy asking Montana, “Hey are you a vegetable?” Montana went, “No, why?” Christine hit the cheesy pick up line like, “because you look CU(TE)cumber..”

3. Christine asked me which previous intern did I miss the most. I was like, “Come on. It’s like ask me who I should save first if my girlfriend and my mum both drop in the water.” Montana went, “You should save your mum.” I joked like, “which was why I still don’t have girlfriend.”

4.Christine told a joke. I teased her like, “OMG, Christine your joke is so funny, I almost missed it…”

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Sameera was testing a phone app. For some reason I saw a hammer on her desk and got totally amazed by how she tested the phone app…

1. I bought a condo and talked to an insurance lady for insurance premium. She asked me about the approximate value of the belongings in my condo. I thought about it and told her, “Around $10,000.” She was like, “Oh, that means you are still single…”

2. We were having lunch and one lady had a strong and correct opinion about something. Some guy joked like, “Don’t we miss those days when women are still properties!?”

3. We went out for lunch. I recommended a restaurant and told people my reputation was on the line. Jason joked like, “If we don’t like it, you give us your paycheck.” I was like, “My reputation was invaluable but still not worth my paycheck…”

4. I went snowboarding at Killington 10 days ago and air b&b in a house. I boiled some Chinese food and joked with people that whoever said I was good looking could take one piece.

Since I had to leave early, Baozi teased me like, “Hey the good looking guy is leaving!” I was like, “Hold on for a second”, took out the phone, open the voice recorder app and told her, “Say it again. I need to keep the evidence…”

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John showed me a protein bar he has been eating the other day. No B.S. … (I looked it up and the company claimed B.S. means Bad Stuff..)

1. We were having happy hour and drinking. People told me I should try find girls from bars. I disagreed like, “It is of high probability that a girl found at bar is alcoholic. I wanna find a girl in the library.”

They couldn’t help laughing. I was like, “I am not good at drinking. So I need to pick my fight..”

2. I was at an Alumni Club’s event and Joan, the president, asked me, “Mingwu, I heard you were very capable. Come and help us.” I was so confused, “I am capable?” She continued like, “Yes, Ze and Tianqi said you knew how to play and were very good at having fun…”

3. Wenfei and I were discussing about making money. She told me she was good at things that did not make money. I was like, “Like spending money?”

4. I was at an event and the host talked to people like, “I am glad you sign up, show up and stand up for the cause.”

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I went snowboarding with friends and stayed in an Air BNB house. One of the bed room had a bath tub…

1. The company was packing to move and Sandy told people, “If you have anything that is breakable, make sure they are bubble-packed.” I told her, “Sandy, my heart is breakable.”

2. We were having lunch and discussing about different food styles in China, such as Sichuan Style, Hunan Style and Cantonese Style. Jason asked me, “What style of food can your mum make?” I was like, “Home style..”

3. I took an elevator to 12nd floor. One lady pressed the 11th floor’s button and asked me if the office she was looking for was on 11th. I told her, “Actually it’s on 12nd.” and joke with her like, “Are you those people who pressed all the floors without actually going out?”

4. Tianqi told me she needed to ask her dad for money for the down payment of a house. I suggested her like, “You can spend hundreds of dollars buying your dad a gift and invest on your dad. If the investment works out, you will have tens of thousands of dollars in return just in a few weeks..”

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Fun “No Evil Monkey” cups for drinks: “See No Evils”, “Say No Evils” and “Hear No Evils”

1. We were having lunch and Christine told people, “Oh, I am full.” I joked with her like, “That’s OK， Christine. It’s OK to be fool..”

(Unfortunately I have to explain the punch line to Claire.. 😦 )

2. Claire was gonna visit China for a business trip. I gave her a hug and asked her to forward the hug to China. She told me she was gonna hug the security guy the first thing she landed in China.

3. Suzy just got married last week. I hugged her and told her “to have a good marriage”..

4. (Sorry, this punch line has to be delivered in Chinese)

我和几个朋友去东北餐馆吃饭，要点韭菜盒子，我怕不够分就问服务员：“你家的韭菜盒子多大的啊？”服务员说，“是Jia（1) Chang(2)的。” 我就懵逼地问，“是加长的，还是家常的啊？”

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I went snowboarding the other day and took a ski area transit truck to transport between different sites. On the rail of the truck said this…

1. I told people I was gonna take a cosmetic surgery. They looked at my face and joked with me like, “A lot seems to need to be done…”

2. Suzy was unable to find the mail package she was expecting and asked me, “Barton, if you are a mail package, where would you hide?” I was like, “I’ve no idea, but if it’s a male package I would wait in the men’s room until it shows up…”

3. A bunch of my college’s alumni went out for dinner with another friend, Lorenzo. He asked us, “What is the name of your university?” I joked with him like, “It’s called the best university in China…”

4. I live in Beacon Hill now and Zhongyun suggested me write an autobiography named “The Ghost on Beacon Hill”.

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Be Hoppy, obviously this beer is at least partially made from hop

1.1 Sandy had a stiff neck the other day because of not sleeping well the night before. She asked me to massage her neck. I joked with her like, “How can you not sleep well? You have been practicing sleeping for (long pause) 50 years?” (I definitely don’t wanna over estimate a lady’s age.)

1.2 She was like, “Come on! 61 years! for crying that loud…”

2. Sandy told people a story of her colleague caught abusing the company’s credit card and added that that was why she always kept the receipts to cover her ass, “Just C! Y! A! Cover! Your! Ass!”

3. Suzy and I shopped beer for the company’s happy hour the other day. And we bought Old Engine Oil just for my curiosity~

1.1 Jason was waiting for the pot boiling the water in the kitchen for his tea. I joked with him by saying, “Jason, you should stare at the pot without blinking. It will make it happen quicker. It’s science. Only PhD knows…”

1.2 Later that day, Jason called me Dr. Seuss… (google Dr. Seuss if no idea who he is.)

2.1 We went out for lunch and Suzy took out the company credit card and paid the bill. I joked with her like, “Suzy, the way you paid the bill is so sexy…” She joked back like, “Barton, you will find a woman like that and you will be all set…”

2.2 During that lunch, Joe told us whenever he thought of his kids, he felt happy. I was like, “Please let me think of your kids. I wanna feel happy too.”

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It’s OK to be a little Shellfish… Saw this in a restaurant in Duke’s Seafood & Chowder Seattle

1.1 I was reading a book about public speaking and it quoted a statistics saying there are more people scared of public speaking than death…

1.2 Jerry Seinfeld commented on this point like, “That means to the average person, if you have to go a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy…”

2. We went out for lunch. I wore a good looking but not very warm coat. Shreya told me she didn’t think the coat was good enough for the cold weather. I was like, “Yeah, I am trying to be cool…”

3. I was playing Uno with friends. At very beginning of the game, I joked with people, “I need to get cleared with the rules of Uno: can people swear during Uno?”

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Powell’s books store in Portland OR, which claim itself to be the biggest new & used book store in the world.

1. I was looking at an open source course and one of the course’s prerequisites is high confusion threshold…

2. We went out for Dim Sum, one type of Chinese food. Because all the dishes are not easy to eat using only hands, I joked with Tridiv, my Indian colleague, that this Chinese restaurant is not Indian friendly..

3. I went on a training and the trainer asked us what the company should do to meet the customers’ needs. I joked like, “We probably need better customers~”

4. Sandy is Ravi’s assistant and one day she joked with people by saying, “Ravi is fashionable, smart and happens to be my boss…”

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I visited LA for NIPS 2017, one of the top three AI conferences.

1.1 In one workshop, Feifei Li told people it’s more harmful to be lonely than be smoking and therefore “it’s better off to smoke with friends…”

1.2 In one workshop concerning healcare, one speaker said, “I am at the age that people would normally collecting ICD9 code…” (ICD9 code is the hospital code system for different diseases.)

1.3 After the conference I took a shuttle to the airport. The driver asked people which airline we were taking, so that she can figure out which terminal to stop. One lady told the driver like, “I am planning to take a cab at the airport…” Visit the airport to catch a cab? Totally makes sense…

2. We were having lunch and someone mis-pronounce Suzy’s name as Sushi… And I was like, “Someone needs to be named Woshabi..”

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At the reception of NIPS, Michael Jordan, a legendary AI pioneer and Berkeley U Professor (center) and his band “The Imposteriors” gave an awesome gig. All the band members are researchers, lectures or professors in statistics. So cool!!

1.1 Sandy is my colleague at my Mum’s age and my adopted mum at work.. She is very funny, social and every thing. She is a friend of every body and joked with people that the train driver won’t leave without her, because the driver is her friend..

1.2 However the truth is she had to run from time to time to catch the train, twisted her knee and had to take a surgery one day.. I joked with her that, “Hi Sandy, you have to pace yourself even though you are fast..”

1.3 Sandy told us she did not work on train, because there were so many crazy people in the train and she had to take care of those mental…

2. Tridiv is my colleague working on the programing. We’ve got a group meeting the other day and he told people his hobby is coding.. which I thought sucks and was quite funny.

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Jack’s GF was in CA and I +1-ed his company team’s new year party. The view was surreal!

1. I reviewed a paper and two of potential reviewer’s decisions are “Reject the Paper” and “Strongly Reject the Paper…”

2. One of Sandy’s previous colleagues visited. She was so happy to see him and told people he is her boyfriend. I asked her how many boyfriends did she have. She told me she had multiple and he was her favorite…

3. I saw Christine Gee in the kitchen and said Hi. It caught her all of a sudden and she couldn’t help screaming “Jees”, which was of exact the same pronunciation of her last name’s plural. From then on, I called her Jees..

4. Jixiang placed the sensor on the top of hot tea to introduce temperature increase to test the sensor. Srik called it “Tea Test”… (T test is a well-known test in Statistics)

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Even extremely busy last weekend (Nov 12nd), I still started snowboarding for the season. Super fun and relaxing!

1. Jason saw me working on my yellow paged lab note and kidded me like, “The lab note made you look so scientific..” Because he had marketing background, I joked with him like, “Yes, I am marketing myself. I learned something from you..”

2. I was at a meeting and the host asked if people knew why we need to collaborate? Someone answered, “Because sometimes people need to collaborate to know they have a shitty idea..”

3. Yi’ou told us she got married because she likes men. I joked with her like, “Well, there is a difference between to like men and to like a man..”

4. Annand just got a son and his wife asked him to shave his beard before giving him the permission to kiss his son, because it would hurt. I joked with Annand like, “She can also suggests you stay away from your son..”

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My second compensation of patent royalty fee. Good enough to pay a lot of parking tickets!!

1. Luisa is my colleague who is waiting for her BF to propose. I asked her if her BF knew she was waiting. She told me, “Yeah, I told him the size of my finger..”

2.1 Laura likes to tell jokes, but is not confident about her jokes. Whenever right after she tells a joke, she always looks at people’s eyes and told them, “it’s a joke…”

2.2 Unfortunately Laura quit the job and decided to move to Nashville with her husband. Before she left, she talked to me seriously like, “You, make a better sensor.” I joked back like, “You, make a better joke!”

3.1  Christine wore a big scarf the other day and used it cover her upper body. I met her in the office and joked with her like, “Hey Christine, nice curtain…”

3.2 Tridiv couldn’t help laughing and joking with Christine by saying she was windows..

3.3 I comforted Christine like, “Don’t worry Christine. You are not Windows. You are Linux..”

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A place named World’s End near Boston..

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Without any pressure from Tridiv, my colleague, he is specially featured in this post.

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1. Christine asked me to feature her in my blog, which I did in last post. But I told her I would feature Tridiv one post after her, so that Tridiv’s will always be the most updated. Tridiv was happy, but Christine was like, “That’s OK. There will always be a longer history between me and Barton then…”

2. One lady was trying to motivate people to attend one event on Toast Master Club. She listed all benefits of attending the events and added like, “Plus, I will be there, which I know may or may not be incentives for you guys…”

3.1 I told my colleagues that I attended a wedding two weeks ago, which had no Bouquet toss. I told people that made it very difficult for me to identify single ladies…

3.2 I joked with people that, I need a single lady detector…

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I ordered Sake in one Japanese restaurant. It was served in two cups, one in the other, both full of Sake. People need to finish the drink from both cups.

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Because of the strong insistance of Christine Gee, my colleague at work, she is featured for this post in my blog… 😦

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1. I attended Pei’s wedding with four other friends, who are all married females. Five married women and me, one unspeakable story..

1.1 In the beginning of the wedding ceremony, the rabbi talked to Pei and Ben, her husband, like, “Thank you for coming to your wedding. We can’t come here without you..”

1.2 Ben made a speech during the wedding and claimed the wedding day to be his Pay/Pei Day..

1.3 Linjuan was among 4 friends who joined me. She was pregnant but for a moment she couldn’t get non-alcohol drinks. I was like, “This wedding is so not pregnant women friendly..”

I visited WI to meet friends last Week and AirBNBed in Hopi and Dick’s house. They are at my grand-father’s age.

1. I saw a microscope in Hopi’s house. Hopi told me she couldn’t use it anymore, because her eyes are becoming weaker and weaker. I joked with her like, “Is it why you are still keeping it?”

2. Hopi and Dick have a 16-year-old dog, which is very old for a dog. They told me they had to give it drugs for dementia. I thought about it and was like, “I might need it too…”

3. I handed my phone to Hopi so that she can type in her Facebook ID. She couldn’t do it because her weak eyes and told me the screen was too small for her. I joked like, “I am sorry. I only have a phone for young people..”

4. My friends and I visited dairy cow expo. We sat at a table with a bag left by people who sat there before us. Ten minutes later the bag’s owner came to pick it up and complimented us like, “Thanks! Nobody in WI takes stuff that don’t belong them.” I joked like, “True. But I almost gave the bag to somebody else…”

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Got this fridge magnet at Madison WI’ airport. WI is a farming state. This is probably coming from a rap released in 1992, “Baby Got Back”. One of the lyrics is “I like big butts and cannot lie…”

1. Philips Andover site has a small cafeteria, which only sells prepackaged sandwich. People called it a glorified vending machine…

2. I told Jason I was going to an organic farm to help slaughter chicken. After I came back, he asked me, “Did you get home with chicken feather?”

3. I joked with people in the kitchen about marriage and suggested John be more ambitious to try another wife. John was like, “She is my second wife…”

4. Anand’s wife was gonna labor for a baby the next day and I gave my best wishes to Anand like, “Have a good baby, man!”

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Second time Russell Peters Live! So hilarious..

1. Vicent is one of my colleagues in Netherland. He emailed us saying he was coming to Boston On Oct 2nd and sent another email saying he just forgot that he needed to get married on that date… I joked with him like, “I guess the first secret for successful marriage is, to remember the wedding date?”

2. We had a lady be a subject to collect respiration data. After a few hours of study, she did really well and we complimented her as a good subject for respiration. I was like, “Obviously you have been practicing breathing for this study in your whole life…”

3. Sandy asked me to do something and I did it. The next day she talked to me like, “Thanks, you are doing good, “but followed up like, “but remember, you are good, I am better…”

4. One lady named Mee came to the club and introduced herself like, “Hello, I am Mee (Me)…”, which is probably the most meaningful nonsense I have ever heard..

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Saw this crabby crab in Faneuil Hall

Selected Photos from my last month’s visit of the farm Kate and Joe worked on and owned by Ryan and Kara.

Part of the Farm

The other part of the farm

Growing the mushroom!

Rasberry

BlueBerry

Kate is milking the Goat

Goats

Goat Milk

Pigs

Pigs

Carrot (I guess..

Green Onion

Cherry Tomoato

Tomato

Bee Box

Chicken To Be Slaughtered

Chicken To Be Slaughtered

1.1 Marc took a one-week vacation. After coming back, he hosted a meeting, in which I joked with him by asking, “Do you wanna know how we were doing without you last week?”

1.2 “You guys were doing great,” he answered, “Interestingly I had a great time too without checking any emails or anything.” I pondered it aloud like, “So, we both have a better life without each other…”

2. Sandy was an interesting lady at my mum’s age at work. We got along very well and told people that I was her adopted son and she was my Mum Sandy.

2.1 Aware of me being single, she suggested me like, “Don’t wait for the perfect woman. Perfect women don’t exist.” I joked with her like, “No, they exist. You are perfect.” She was like, “Thanks, I am almost perfect, but not perfect…”

2.2 Sandy took a vacation and told people before leaving like, “If you guys need me to do anything, …” and I continued her sentence by joking like, “…, wait..”

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Solar Eclipse behind the cloud. #Thanks to the filters I bought compulsively a few years ago…

I visited Melissa and her husband’s new house for house warming.

1. My workplace is downstairs of Melissa’s. I joked with people that I used to work on her upstairs and then got demoted..

2. Melissa is from Taiwan. She told me they have Taipei, Tainan, Taidong, Taixi and Taizhong literally meaning the north, south, east, west and center of Taiwan. I was like, in case you guys were running out of names for cities, you can use northeast, southeast, northwest, southwest of Taiwan..

Last Friday, I ran a beer mile, AKA to drink a beer and run a quarter mile for four beers.. Here is for our first beer…

3. I told people the beer mile is gonna be on my resume..

4. Before the beer mile, Carly told me she was probably unable to do the beer mile as well as she did in college, because, based on her, back then she was alcoholic…

I joked with her like, what made you think you are not alcoholic now? …

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A list of books I read since last update..

89. Autonomy And Rigid Character – David Shapiro 90%

88. Humans of New York – Brandon Stanthon 95%

87. Homo Deus: A Brief History of Tomorrow – Yuval Harari 95%

86. Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind – Yuval Harari 95%

85. Harry Potter 2,3 -J. K. Rowling 90%

84. The Nonverbal Advantage: Secrets and Science of Body Language at Work – Carol Kinsey Goman 95%

83. Netflixed: The Epic Battle for America’s Eyeballs – Gina Keating 80%

82. The Innovator’s Dilemma: The Revolutionary Book That Will Change the Way You Do Business – Clayton M. Christensen 70%

81. It’s Not the How or the What but the Who: Succeed by Surrounding Yourself with the Best – Claudio Fernández-Aráoz 75%

(Here is a list of books written in English I read since 2011)

1. We went out for lunch to celebrate Jeffery’s internship closure. By mistake, the waitress switched the food between Gabe and Fi. Before they switched it back, Gabe apologized to Fi like, “I hope you don’t mind I take a small piece of your food.” Fi was like, “Oh, don’t worry, I licked all of yours..”

2. Sandy told people her husband was a jerk in high school. I was like, “So I still have a chance to find a girlfriend, since I am also a jerk..”

3.1 We have one male and one female dummies in the office for hospital utility experiment. When they arrived, they were all naked. So Derek and Suzy brought clothes from home to put them on…

For a while, for the female dummy, we don’t have pants for her, so we get legs dressed in a jacket..

3.2 Marc, a guy colleague, had to carry the female dummy across the business streets of Boston to a collaborator the other day and received all kinds of attention from the public…

We joked about it in a meeting and I was like, “The real question is, who is gonna carry her back..”

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Saw a lady with this cute Minion bag the other day near downtown crossing. She proudly told me she got it from Staple and it was the last in the store!

Kate was my house mate in Michigan. She is working in an amazing organic farm in Vermont. I took the pleasure of visiting her and her BF Joe and worked on the farm for one day last Saturday.

1. In the morning we slaughtered the chicken and some chicken pooped after they died. Joe said people did it too. I was like, “So, we should make sure to poop before we die, so that it won’t be too embarrassing…”

2.1 We later separated viscera from the slaughtered chicken body. Meagan separated the heart from one slaughtered chicken and found some deposit of fat on the heart. She was like, “I am so concerned with the health of this chicken. He may have a heart disease…”

2.2 I was like, “Don’t worry. I am sure he will die for another reason..”

3. Since it is an organic farm, they used people’s defecation as fertilizer and placed all human’s defecation on one corner of the farm. Kate told me some farm visitors accidentally walked into that corner but had totally no idea last year. Those visitors came back earlier this year. I pretended to be those visitors talking to people living on the farm like, “Hey, I met your crap last year…”

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I brought some beer to the farm and the farm owner’s son was definitely enjoying it!

1. I asked Ryan where Gabe was and I needed him. Ryan told me Gabe needed to be needed. I continued like, “Gabe is needy to be in need.”

2. Srik told me in Indian English the meaning of “Can you take my stepney from my Dickey” means “Can you replace my tire from my truck?”… I was in awe…

3. We were having a meeting and Srik asked Guoshuai where a picture on his widnows desktop computer from. Guoshuai said it was from Utah. I was like, “It is from microsoft.”

4. One of my papers was cited by a paper of a really cool title, “Physics Cannot be Disputed..”

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A cloudy evening on Charles River #OhYeahVersionOfPostProcessing

1. I had dinner with Yiqun and his friend. His friend told me his adviser loved deriving all kinds of math equations for his class and told people proudly that Electrical Engineering was pretty mathy…

2.1 Jingyi finished her internship last week and I wrote an email to invite people for a lunch to see her off like, “Hi All, let’s have lunch tomorrow (Thursday) at XXX to celebrate Jingyi’s survival in our team…”

2.2 During the lunch Ryan ordered a whole bowl of rice. I was like, “Ryan, you are pretty ricy..”

2.3 I bought Jingyi a retirement card and circled it around in the company to celebrate her closure of the internship…

1. We went out for lunch and I saw a scar on Suzy’s neck. I asked her, “What’s going on with the scar?” Did someone try to kill you?”

Koreen was like, “Yeah, I tried to kill her once but failed. There were some hard feelings right after that, but we made it up after a few weeks. Now we are still friends..”

2. We were having lunch and Jixiang said he believed pork did a better job making people feel full than chicken. I totally agreed like, “I agree. If one guy eats a pig and another guy eats a chicken, the one who eats a pig will probably feel fuller..”

3. Jason would like his elder son to learn Chinese, but his son would like to learn Greek. So he showed his son the facts that all his toys were made in China and all Chinese food was made in China. Eventually his son became interested in learning Chinese. I joked with Jason that he manipulated his son, but Jason claimed his innocency saying his son made his own decision totally on his own.

4. I was making a coffee, said hi to Derek and burnt my hand. I told Derek I will never do it again. Derek was like, “Never burn your hand?” I was like, “Never say hi to you..”

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Here is the right way to sell ice cream..

1. We were thinking about starting an NGO called “Support for Hunger”, asking people to donate money, getting all the money and eventually changing our names to “Hunger”..

2. I watched an opera named The Wicked. Someone would like to know which of the two people was the witch and asked, “Which is witch?”

3. We were having lunch and Jingyi said the pulled pork bung was too greasy. I spent 5 seconds trying to make a joke using grease and Greece but failed..

4. Minions totally stole the thunder..

1. I watched a video on Youtube. One guy made a fancy video to sell his used car made in 1997. At the end, it rolls out the following words slowly, “Buy my car. It needs your love … and maybe some paint..”

2. Shreya spent one week vacation in Cape Cod. I asked her what did she do. She told me, “We did nothing. We did a lot of nothings…

3. Srik told me he had a high school friend, who told people his dad was a banker. People did not take him serious. A few years later, people realized he meant his dad owned a bank..

4. We were discussing about tattoo and someone asked what if a guy tattooed his wife’s name, say, Andrea on his arm and got divorced. Brian said, “He can tattoo two more words and make it ‘I hate Andrea’…”

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Photos taken by my drone at Martha’s Vineyard. The longest distance of drone: 5000 meters. The maximum of the drone: 500 meters. Amazing for a civilian drone..

1.1 Koreen was not happy with one collaborator and asked Marc,” Can you let me know the best way to say someone is a crap?”

1.2 I interrupted like,” You can say,’ I think you may be a crap’..”

2. Annand told people he took a beer out of a bar and drank it unconsciously while driving the other day. I was like,” You are drinving, man. You are drinking and driving…”

3. We were having happy hours and Heather was drinking with us. Suzy said she didn’t know Heather drink. Heather was like, “Oh, I have pretended not drinking.” I joked like, “You have done a great job until today…”

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Huge wine Koreen bought her family last year..

1. From time to time I asked Suzy about suggestions about girls. One day I wore a new shirt and she said she liked it. I joked with her like, “The real question is: will other girls like it?”

2. Koreen asked Claire what activities she would do in the weekends. Claire joked like, “I don’t do activities…”

3. I watched a commercial which claimed Rule No 1. of road trip: driver is the DJ. Sounds about right.

4. Annand said he was a guinea pig for a study in some experiment. I looked at him and joked like, “No, man. You may be just a pig…”

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A circuit carpet I saw a few weeks ago in an EE exhibition. Not quite artistic. Probably made by a nerd who tried really hard to be artistic..

1.I was at a toast master club meeting and Xinyi told a story of successfully predicting her friend’s BF’s proposal. Xinyi’s friend even asked her BF, “Xinyi predicted you are gonna proposing to me. Is it true?” Her BF became so disappointed and mad that he threw the proposing ring at her and said, “That bitch (Xinyi) didn’t even know me!”

2. Someone was asked a question of “What would you not give up for a one million dollar check?” I interrupted like, ‘A ten million dollar check?”

3.1 I was super allergic to pollen in the past few weeks and found the building screen board casting the pollen report just as the weather report in China board casting air pollution situation..

3.2. Joe suggested a medicine to me but also mentioned his allergy to pollen became much better after marriage. In the end, he still told me, “It is cheaper to buy the medicine than marriage..”

1. Jason told me he invested in himself for retirement by raising three kids. And that’s his investment portfolio…

2.1 Brian’s wife was gonna take a C-Section have a baby on Thursday. I sent him an email one day earlier to wish him “to have a good baby”..

2.2 The next day Ravi shared the news that Brian’s wife had the baby smoothly through group email. I pretended to be smart like, “I wished Brian to have a good baby. I am glad I did my part..”

3. I was asked what to say if I was kidnapped if I wanna convince the kidnapper to let me go during a toast master impromptu speech. I was like, “First of all, I will cover my eyes, so that the kidnapper will be assured I don’t know how he/she looks and it will be safe to let me go…”

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Book store was selling a tutorial kit to teach chess.. #Once upon a time..

1. We asked someone at Rockport where to do the fishing. He was like, “Go along this road until you see a sign saying “Don’t enter” and keep going…”

2. Marc was heading back to home from office and I asked him if he had received the knowledge I radiated that day..

3. I showed Marc how to do something using Microsoft Visio and he said thanks. I joked with him like, “My pleasure, but that’s all I learned from Phd…”

4. I said happy birthday to Carly last Tuesday, but she told me her birthday was the next day. I was like, “Oh, happy birthday eve then~”

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Ate the biggest sesame ball in my life yesterday…

1. Jason told people how difficult it was to take care of his kids. I suggested him train his elder son (10 years old) to take care of his younger ones like, “If he does it right, give him a chocolate; if he does it wrong, spray him…” (To spray is a classic technique to train dogs..)

2. Brian thought one device on my desk was for some use, but it was not. He joked with me like, “Obviously you have a wrong device.” I joked back like, “No, obviously you are interested in the wrong device…”

3.1 I met Ravi, my manager’s manager the other Tuesday. He asked me how I was doing. I joked with him like, “I am good, but I think I worked too hard…”

3.2 Ravi joked back with me like, “You should pace yourself man. It’s only Tuesday..”

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Seaport Boston #OhYeahVersionOfNoPostProcessing

1. Guoshuai came back from vocation and told Yaniv he enjoyed the vocation a lot. Yaniv joked with him like, “Why did you come back then?” I was like, “Well, that’s the difference between vacation and unemployment…”

2. Koreen told us she did not eat lamb. I was like, “Well, sheep will be happy to know that..”

3. Claire told us she is paying her wife’s tuition. I joked with her like, “Very smart. You are investing in her..”

4. Srik took an Uber car to the airport. The driver was not familiar with the traffic and missed the same entrance over and over again. Srik was in such a hurry to catch the flight that he decided to take over the Uber driver’s seat and drove the Uber’s driver to the airport…

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Visited an old camera annual flea market and exhibition yesterday. Super cool, especially the spy mini camera and video camera, all mechanical and fully functional once equipped with films..

1.1 Srik couldn’t find me at my desk and asked me where I was at a later meeting. I told him, “I am god. I am everywhere…”

1.2 Gabe tried to be supportive like, “I support you, Barton.” I joked with him like, “You are Jewish, man. You are not supposed to believe in God…”

2. Marc told us he was taking Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday off. I was like, “I am gonna miss you for 3 days then…”

3. I went snowboarding last Saturday, didn’t control the speed well, turned over a few times and made a really good fall. One guy evilly laughed at me pointing to another guy covered with snow, “Dude, you just made my friend feel so much better…” #the world is mean.

1.I joined a dinner party at a table and started talking to a girl as a friend. Rebecca joked by interrupting like, “Don’t hit on her. Her boyfriend is here.” I joked back like, “Oh, thanks. Normally she should be rejecting me right now…”

2. I went snowboarding with friends on a really really cold day. Some people couldn’t stand the temperature and decided to stay inside, which was not very hardcore. I joked with friends saying they were softcore..

3. Phil dropped by my desk just to say hi. I dropped by his desk to say hi later and told him I was doing some reciprocal harassment…

4. One lady companied Geoff in the office and greeted people. I knew she was Geoff’s wife but pretended to have no idea like, “Can I assume you are Geoff’s wife? Is it a solid assumption?”

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This organized scene in Yale library deeply impressed me, a OCD patient who likes to read..

1. I went snowboarding with friends. Helen and I started to compete about who wore more clothes. I told her I wore 3 layers and one under pant. She told me she wore one more bra than me…

2. The company’s kitchen has snacks and fruits. I walked into the kitchen the other day and found Jingyi behave awkwardly . So I joked with her like, “Are you stealing the bananas home?” “No,” she showed me what was in her bag and joked back like, “I am taking the oranges…”

3. David is my colleague originally from Britain. He became American citizen the other day and we threw a party at work.

3.1 I joked with him like, “how do you feel like being an American?

3.2 I joked with him again by asking, “Where is your British dignity?” He told me it was in his drawer back at home…

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One friend placed lots of butt cushion protectors in her pants and got ready for snowboarding…

1. Jason brought his 3-year-old daughter to work the other day and tried to get her relaxed with all the snacks in the work kitchen like, “Easy on the snacks, you have a whole day…”

2. Katie get her hair into braid the other day. Since forgetting about how to spell “braid”, I asked if she can spell it for me. She joked with me as if I have an unspeakable plan like, “Why do you want me to spell it? I don’t trust you…”

3. Yaniv called Annand in the middle night for work the other day and I joked with Annand like, “Are you sure that was not a booty call?”

4. I stayed in a big house called “Phoenix” with 28 concurrent houses mates for four years in Michigan. Teddy found a photo of the house taken by Google Map and posted on Facebook group, which reminded people of all the nostalgia for the house and especially the kiddie pool we used to dip ourselves  a lot into…

1. We moved to a new office while Phil was taking a vacation. The moment he walked into the new office he told me he hated his desk already. I comforted him like, “Dude, there is nothing you can do. Just imagine you get stuck with an ugly girlfriend…”

2. Phil and I hit the gym after work for two hours. We became super hungry and decided to eat Chinese BBQ buffet at China town. Phil told me like, “I am so excited, man. They are so fucked…”

3. I walked into the kitchen to have lunch and software team invited me to join them. So I got a new table and pulled it close to their table like, “Keep your friends close and keep your enemies closer…”

4. Ryan has been an intern in the team for 1.5 months but don’t know people well. We had an all-hands meeting and I introduced him to all ladies in our small group like, “Dude, if I were you, I would know all ladies within a week…”

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A cloud aircraft on the ocean

I ended up with no plans on Valentine’s Day and ran with Boston Road Runners. In the end we had a very nice Valentine run and dinner.

1.1 Carly told us she didn’t know her 28-year-old roomie was married until a few weeks ago. She is in Boston and her separated husband is in CA. We were all like, “They are really separated…”

1.2 After the run we asked if Carly has any plans. She was like, “I had plans with my married roommate…”

1.3 Teo asked if I would like to know his friend who’s in CA as a date. I was like, “Well, I feel divorced with her already…”

1.4 After the dinner I pretended to have plans like, “Guys, I have to go. I have plans for tonight.” Carly was like, “What’s your plan? To watch The Bachelor (A TV show)?”

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Way to sell alcohol

1. Every Tuesday evening I run with Boston Road Runners. Last Tuesday, Marco told me he sweated a lot, even in the winter. All of a sudden, it dawned on me that, “Dude, you are a sweater!” #Joke of the Week. #Kept me smiling for almost a week.

2. David turned 55 the other day. Brian joked that it was David’s speed limit… (He also asked me to put his joke on my blog, which I just did. 🙂 )

3. Shreya went on a business trip in George, got sick and stayed at home for a few days. When she came back, I joked by telling people Shreya still carried virus from Georgia…

4. Marc came back from the visit of the collaborator company where his ex-wife work. I asked him, “Marc, how was your ex-wife?” He told me, “It was good. We had half an hour of good conversation.” I was like, “Good. You both grew up..”

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A baby chicken learning to stride from his mother

1. Eladi is my good friend at work. He introduced me to his wife by saying we shared many hobbies such as comedies and photography. I told his wife like, “We also hate each other…”

2. Marc was gonna visit a collaborator company where his ex-wife is working. I asked Annand how Marc would feel. Annand was like, “I don’t know man. I have no ex-wife and I don’t know how it feels…”

3. I heard Meagan was leaving for another company last Friday. So I walked to her desk and pretend to be serious like, “Meagan, I heard you are leaving. We need to talk…”

4. Marc left for home and suggested people staying out of trouble and especially me. I joke with him like, “If you don’t trust me, I will give you a reason for not trusting me…”

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Saw this cute romantic scene from lift while snowboarding at Killington Vermont. Very cute! I wondered if the “Brittany” yes or not, but I definitely gave it a yes..

1. I was at the company’s happy hour last Fri. However Jason did not see me and ask why I did not show up later that day. I joked with him like, “Dude, why did you spend time ignoring me…?”

2. We were having lunch and I ask Jingyi what time it was. She told me, “Three to One.” David was like, “Good, it’s not One Two Three …”

3. Two presenters were giving us presentations. After the first presenter was done, he asked us, “Did I put you guys into sleep?” I was like, “Not yet.” The second presenter was like, “Good, that would be my job…”

4. We are moving to new office space next week and nobody knew their new seat position. I told people like, “I am going to pee to the desk I like and mark my territory.” Brett was like, “Go ahead. I am sure nobody will take your desk once you pee on it…”

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The small animals on the Caribbean Islands #OhYeah Version of no post-processing

1. I was having lunch with people and saw John pick avocado out of his salad and save for later. So I asked him, “Is avocado your favorite or lest favorite? I am trying to tell if you are an optimist or pessimist…”

2. My mum visited my work place last Friday and asked my manager to ask me to get married… Well played, Mum..

3. We had three interns and Suzy told them I was smart. I joke with her like, “Did you tell the truth, Suzy? I am pretty insecure of myself. I need your confirmation.”

4. I went Snowboarding in a car with friends. I started to tell a joke, and Jinglin told me she was ready for the punch line. I got super embarrassed like, “I just finished the joke…”

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One of the luggage claim machine in San Juan Airport was designed like a roulette. Nicely done.

1. We were taking a training of risk management. The trainer asked us, “Would the fall of a man from a ladder hurt him?” We all said sure. The trainer was like, “No. The fall won’t hurt, but the landing will…”

2. We asked Marc if he would join us in a restaurant named Genes for lunch. For some reason, he thought we were asking him to go to a restaurant wearing jeans and told us he couldn’t, because he was in suit pants that day.

3. Marc told us his GPS voice was set as of Female British Accent. We couldn’t help laughing. It just revealed Marc’s fantasy!

4. Marc asked me to do something, for which I need some help from Srik. So I talked to Marc like, “Tell Srik you need me to need him…”

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Visited a nudity beach two weeks ago, a little bit weird with my mum. A boy and a girl arrived at the beach, saw a man walking toward them and couldn’t help laughing to their parents pointing at that man. After seeing their parents simply smile back, they just started playing as if nothing happened. #Natural education.

1. Koreen caught a cold and took several days off.

1.1 Brittany texted Koreen to ask how she had been doing. Minutes later Brittany sneezed a few times. I joked with her like, “Did you just catch the cold from Koreen through the texts on the phone?”

1.2 Brittany joked back like, “I believe not. There is anti-virus software on my phone…”

1.3 I bought Koreen a can of Sake to celebrate her return and joked with her like, “I was gonna buy you a pack of cigarette, but I didn’t think you are cool enough…”

2. My mum and I spent a few days on St Maarten, co-owned by both France and Netherland. I read the following trip tip before the travel, “Because we are technically in France, there is always the chance that there will be topless women on the beaches…”

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St Maarten Airport, one the most dangerous and chilled airports on the earth. #The OhYeah version of no post processing#

1. Burt asked me if I had met Brian, a Philips colleague who also served as a patient for data collection. I was like, “No, I always de-identify patients…” (All patients’ data are required to be de-identified for almost everywhere including both academia and industry.)

2. Srik removed his cap from his head and put it on again, claiming to us like, “I just recapped…”

3. My mum bought 50 cats, one for each of my colleague. They are so cute and adorable!

3.1 I told colleagues that we need a sensor to measure cuteness level…

3.2 Srik held his cat and turn the cat 360 degree in horizontal plane and told me, “It’s Cat Scan…”  (CAT scan is an X-ray image made using computerized axial tomography.)

1.1 We had three days of training. On the morning of the first day, I chatted with the trainer, “So, we are gonna spend 3 days together?” The trainer was like, “Yeah, are you happy with it?” “I will let you know in 3 days…” I joked with him.

1.2 Koreen became sick on the second day and we discussed about missing the last day training. Because the last day concerned hardware, Brittany was like, “Who wanna miss the hard stuff?”

2. I attended a small seminar of around 8 people, two of which were named Marks. I joked with people like, “We have two Marks. That’s two of a kind. We will be in good shape if playing Texas Hodem.

3. The team had free pizza the other day. Jason told me he wanna eat vegan pizza even though he was not vegan, only because he wanna be treated differently. I joked with him like, “So, you are an attention whore?”

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Thanks to fate I met the smallest Tabasco in my life…

1.Pundit is from India. Joe said he looked tanned…

2. We talked about shooting guns in clubs in Boston. Jason told me people can shoot machine guns in New Hampshire… (Sounds so much fun. It’s on my list now.)

3. Koreen showed Claire something in the office, after which Claire was totally impressed and speechless. I joked with her like, “Normally people would applaud now. You are so rude…”

4. Right after I joined the company, I told my young colleagues that I would like to pretend to be cool in the office for a few months…

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Watched an epic football game between OSU and UM! What a dramatic game! So much unexpected happened and I almost got three heart attacks!

By now, the three most dramatic football games I watched are: a. Alabama vs Auburn (Nov 30, 2013); b. MSU vs UMichigan (Oct 17, 2015); c. OSU vs UMichigan (Nov 26, 2016). #Still a buckeye fan#

1. One device was not working for a demo. Nobody knew why. I was like, “Maybe it’s tired?”

2. Stacy appeared in a video meeting from Andover and came to our Boston site 2 hours later. I was like, “Stacy, I just saw you on TV!”

3.1 Brittany handed me a device and I got shocked by the static electronic discharge because of her hair. I was like, “Brittany, you are a hazard…”

3.2 We discussed about how to prevent it from happening. I was like, “Maybe you can keep your hair oily?” (oily hair won’t cause electric discharge)

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I went crabbing in August by myself and accidentally met the chair of Electrical & Computer Engineering Department in U of Tufts. He invited me to give a seminar the next day. I completed the seminar two days ago and gave a closure to this extremely academic crabbing event…

1. Suzy tested sensors by placing them on her chest. Because the sensors took too much space, she complained like, “There is no enough space on my chest.” I joked like, “Yeah, you need a bigger chest..” (I am glad she hasn’t called HR yet..)

2.1 I joined a toast master club by paying the membership due in their meeting. 5 mins later the host asked if they had a guest (non-member) for that day’s meeting. I was like, “We had one 5 mins ago…”

2.2 The host of toast master said he had the same pant as the other guy’s. I was like, you were pant buddies…

3. Koreen told me she thought she finished online training even though she did not. I comforted her like, “Don’t worry. I always have the same illusion.”

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Found an ad campaigning for a grant supporting projects that bring more humor to campus in a MIT building… Nerdy humor… I like it..

1. I saw Heather laugh happily with Vickie in marketing team’s office. Suzy and I saw her later that day in the kitchen and I joked with her like, “Heather, I saw you laughing with Vickie,,,, without us..” Suzy helped me like, “Yeah, how can you do this to us?!”

2. Brittany found a bug on our circuit: even after cutting the power input, the circuit still worked fine.. George joked like, “This circuit is definitely of a low power design…”

3. We collected some data from people. To do the de-identification of people, we named each person Subject 1, Subject 2… George joked like, “We should name them, Victim 1, Victim 2…”

4. We have happy hour at 3pm every Friday when people can drink beer. Claire held a beer at happy hour last Friday and asked why nobody else was drinking. I told her we were trying to make her feel bad about herself.. However, I picked up a beer afterwards and cheered with her like, “I drink this just for you..”

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Halloween Neighborhood Party at Beacon Hill. Kids carried bags on their shoulders here for candies…

1. Brian works from home sometimes. He dropped by my office the other day and I told him sometimes I missed him, but couldn’t find him in the office. He laughed and told me he would be in the office just for me.

2. Brittany asked me if I was available to help her. I told her sure. She asked me, “Are you sure? You look busy.” I told her, “En.. let me double check”, turned to my computer and turned back to her after 1 second like, “Yeah, I just checked. I AM available..”

3. We went to a wearable device design competition held by our Philips group and there were four judges. Srik told us he thought the last judge was pretty sharp. I told others like, “Guys, Srik judges judges…”

4. Keerthana was my lab mate in MSU. For some reason I received an email from MSU saying she was looking for people to participate in her experiment. I sent her an email to joke with her like, “Hey Keerthana, I heard you were looking for people to help. I am writing this email to let you know that I can’t. That’s all. Best regards, Mingwu”

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Visited Wellesley College one more time yesterday. Was planning to do some fishing but didn’t feel like showing any disrespect to this sacred place. Wellesley soccer team was playing a league game at their home field. To host a soccer game in such a picturesque field feels like a crime…

1. My colleagues and I took the freight elevator the other day, which was never open to people. The moment I got on, I told my colleagues, “I wondered how the freight felt when they took the elevator. Now I know…”

2. Marc bought us a bag of candies the other day, but took one piece for himself. I kidded him like, “Obviously, you assumed you were one of us…”

3. George’s laptop got virus. I comforted him like, “I am sorry, George, even though it doesn’t help…”

4. Yanive told me he didn’t date anybody for two years after splitting up with his ex when he was young. However, when he became ready to date, it took him only two weeks to “get back to business”…

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Visited Wellesley Colleague on a rainy afternoon. A beautiful campus of fall color in an idealistic and surreal way. The story of Mona Lisa Smile happened here, one of my three favorite movies. Love it. My friend told me the winter will be more beautiful. I will be back then.

1. We went out for lunch, heard Nicole was able to travel to different countries for business the other day and were all jealous. I was like, “Huh, guess who has the wrong job?”

2. We were having lunch. Claire told us she moved to China and stayed there for years at the age of 16. I was like, “Huh, I was gonna ask you how long ago was that, but then I will know your age and you probably will call HR…”

3. Brian told us whenever he told people he and his wife had four kids, people seemed to doubt if they did it on purposes like, “Well, we have four, obviously we know what we were doing..” I agreed, pretended to be him and got confused sarcastically like, “Huh, we have four kids, we must have done something right…”

4. Nicole works in the marketing team, but picked up people’s mails from the mail box and distributed in the office the other day. I joked with her like, “So, you are our mail woman…” (vs mailman)
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Saw this restaurant name in Toledo OH a few months ago. Again, I love it when people manipulate language and have fun.

1. Ravi’s desk is at the corner of the common space. Someone dropped by the other day and asked where Ravi’s desk was. I told him, “It’s at the corner. He is cornered…”

2. I walked out for lunch and hit the button of the elevator. A girl walked towards the elevator looking at me in shy, pressed the same button sneakily one more time and explained to me in shame like, “Sorry, I have to hit it…” #How to identify OCD patient fellow using naked eyes

3. I wore dress suit to work the other day for a product demo. Because I only wear suit for job interview, the moment Brittany complimented my suit, I was like, “Thanks, I am so job-interview ready…”

4. One of my friends told me one professor researched on how to let men experience the feeling of having women’s period…

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Saw this ad in Ohio a few months ago. I like It a lot when people manipulate language and have fun.

Today is the 10th anniversary of my blog. Too much to be said, but foremost I would like to thank every body who appears in my life and makes me who I am.

I can’t wait for what would appear on my blog in another 10 years.

I attended a data science conference in Boston from Thursday to Saturday last week.

1.1 The conference website claims: there is no official dress code, but shirts and shoes are required at all times…

1.2 My question is, how about pants?

2. One speaker presented one service provided by one wearable device detecting falls of seniors: whenever the senior falls, a message was automatically tweeted on the senior’s Twitter account… Obviously someone thinks it will help…

3. One speaker tried to deliver his message using a metaphor of parallel universe. A few minutes later something is wrong with the room’s audio system and it kept broadcasting the speech of next door’s speaker, which was totally irrelevant and interrupting our speaker. We kept laughing and our speaker was like, “Maybe it’s from our parallel universe…”

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Received my first ever patent royalty payment by in life. Not a lot of money, but definitely something special enough to be marked~

1. Marc is the project manager. Brittany asked Marc to sign one document one more time by asking, “Can you re sign / resign?”

2. George told us he was going to San Diego for vocation? I thought he was going to The Sea World and therefore asked, “Sea world?” He was like, “No, see family…”

3.1 We have a 15 mins meeting every morning. George couldn’t make it the other day and therefore called in by phone. We glued his photo on the back of his chair, so that we can picture he was here when he was talking. When the meeting was done, Marc moved George’s chair and talked to the photo like, “Thanks George..”

3.2 George came back the next day and stood besides his chair and his photo. Whenever he wanna say “I”, he used “We” representing both him and his photo. For example, “We are glad to come back.” “We disagreed with your comments。”

It was super funny for me because I heard this joke before: someone told others, “I used to have bipolar personalities. but we are all good now.“

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Moved into Beacon Hill. 11 mins’ walk from home to work. Happiness level was elevated.

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1.1 Joe carried a mail package and I joked with him by asking, “Is it for me?” He was like, “No, but tell me what you need. I will get it to you.” I was like, “I need happiness…”

1.2 Later that day Joe dropped by office. I asked Joe, “How are you gonna deliver my happiness, Joe? UPS?”

2. Burt, the group manager, was talking to people in the meeting and I can’t help sneezing three times. Because his talk was interrupted and everybody was looking at me, I had to apologize to Burt by joking like, “Sorry… for stealing your thunder…”

3. Sometimes George’s sneezes are very gentle, but sometimes wild. I told George the other day like, “I think the variation of your sneezes are too big. You need some quality control of your sneezes…” (Based on Six Sigma, big variation of a product indicate the defects of manufacture processes.

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Suzy got this huge carrot for her coop veggie plan and show it around in the office. Obviously it’s the largest carrot that appeared in my life.

1. I watched an American football video which includes a cartoon Pikachus hit by a football. The end of the video claimed:” No Pikachus were harmed in the making of this film…”

2. We went out for lunch and Koreen crossed the street by running and almost got hit by a car. Suzi screamed like, “OMG, Koreen! Don’t do it.” I joked like, “Agreed. I don’t mind if she dies, but I mind seeing her die.”

3. The group of Philips I joined work in a startup incubator in downtown Boston. The incubator used to put a cold brew keg on 15th floor, but moved it to 17th the other day. George said maybe they changed it to spice it up and keep people’s feeling fresh. I was like, “Just like what people do to keep marriage fresh?”

4. Ravi came dressed in suit one Friday to meet a guest. The moment he walked in, George joked with him like, “You are way over dressed for a Friday!”

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Downtown Cleveland..

1.1 George is good at playing chess. I asked how he started playing. He told me his Dad made him, because his dad believe it would get him popular among girls…

1.2 However, he told me he hasn’t played chess for a while and I asked why. He told me, “Because I don’t wanna get divorced…”

2. We were discussing in the office and Brittany dropped a piece of snack. She lowered her body to pick it up and looked at me as if she made a big mistake. Immediately I turned my head away to make her feel better by saying “I didn’t see it…”

3. Jian caught a cold and asked people what he should do on Chinese FB. Yau suggested like, “Masturbate less.” I disagreed and suggested him like, “Masturbate more…”

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We’ve got an ultimate product development tool:

I helped test a sensor by putting it on my forehead. For some reason it caused some noticeable but minor bruises. Because we are working on medical devices, it was kinda a big deal and we had to talk about it in various occasions… by joking about it.

1. I told people I was injured by the sensor. However, “As a team player, I would do whatever is best for the team…”

2. Because Suzi was responsible for the sensor, she told me she was sorry and appreciated it. I told her I appreciate her appreciation…

3. George asked Suzi like, “I heard the sensor caused some damages on Barton…”

4. Suzi referred this incident like, “Obviously, we have a trauma issue..”

5. Because some people did not come to the office that day, I reminded them the next day like, “Those who haven’t shown me their appreciation for my sacrifices, please feel free to let me know…”

6. George joked with Ravi, the unit leader, that they are gonna use my body for more rigorous sensor test. I was like, “Well, I am the chosen one..” (Jesus is also the chosen one.)

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I took the wrong exit while driving on the highway and saw this…

1.Something is not right with the firmware of one device and the LED of amber color kept blinking.

1.1 Srik joked that it was our own Amber Alert… (Instead of having a kid missing, we have some bits missing in the data.)

1.2 Brittany was like, “It was bit-napping…”(instead of kidnapping..)

2. We were chilling in the kitchen after lunch. John told a joke, which made Vickie laugh. Mark commented that Vickie liked laughing with John. I joked like, “Well, I think Vickie does not like laughing with John. She just likes laughing at John…”

3. We went out for lunch. George and Koreen recommended some food to me. After tasting what I ordered, I joked with then like, “I was gonna test my trust on you guys based on this food. So far you guys still have it. 🙂 ”

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We went out to a pizza place for lunch and found this sign on the wall comforting people for what they were doing…  “It’s Okay to eat whole pizza by yourself.”

1.We were going out for lunch and asked if Mark would like to join. For some reason we were all dressed casually, but Mark was in professional attire. Brittany told Mark that restaurant was “cash only“. Hilariously Mark thought she said “casual only”, and therefore looked down at his attire and appeared totally helpless..

2. John and Guoshuai were discussing about Big Endian and Little Endian of data type. For some reason their pronunciation of “Endian” sounded like “Indian”. Since Srik was from India, he joked with them like, “Don’t talk about ‘little Indian’, or I will call HR..”

3. Srik is from India and shook his head when saying yes. I joked about it the other day. He asked me, “I know you guys nodded when saying ‘yes’, but what about ‘no’?” I told him we shook heads. He was quite surprised, raised his chin quickly a few times and told us, “I thought you guys nodded upwards..”

4. George and I introduced each other on my first day at work. We walked out for lunch the next day, when he turned back and offered to shake my hand like, “Officially, George.” I tried to be funny and replied back like, “Officially, Barton…”

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To celebrate the release of the new Harry Potter book, Harvard Book store threw a big party on Saturday night and the Harvard Square was temporarily named “Hogwarts Square”…

1. We needed a caliber in the lab and someone brought one. George asked, “Is it calibrated?” I was like, “No, we need a caliber to calibrate this caliber..”

2. Srihar was giving a speech during group retreat. Because his voice was so soft, someone requested him to speak up. He was like, “Sure, I can. But my wife always asked the other way..”

3. We went out for lunch and Suzi told me “yuppie” meant “young urban professional”. Because George was senior, I kidded him like, “Hey George, you used to be a yuppie, right?”

4. Ravi, Ales and I went out for lunch. Because they used to work in the same company, they started talking about whom of their colleagues passed away recently. They went through 4 or 5 people and would like to continue as if the lunch topic was “Who else died?” I joked with them like, “So far I love the topic of our lunch…”

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First time to wait for a ship to pass a bridge while driving. This is how the bridge looked like when it happened..

1. Xiaofeng, Yan and I took graduation photos of each other with Yan’s parents with us. For some reason the moment Yan’s mum saw me, she said I was good looking. I was so happy until minutes later when we asked her to take a photo of us, she said she forgot to wear glasses and couldn’t see clearly…

2. I took an lunch interview with three interviewers and one of them asked me what my dream job was. I joked with them like, “Dream job? Money, lots of money. My dream job was to make a lot of money…” They laughed and I continued to explained to them why my dream job was not to make lots of money.

3. Yiqun was over weighted. One day he came to our office to chill. I joked with him like, “Dude, your weight seems to be pretty… stable…”

4. Shunjue told us he thought a girl blocked him from texting her. So he texted “Test” to that girl and the text turned out to be delivered… Full of embarrassment..

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Got a good deal renting an apartment in downtown Boston. 11 minutes’ walk from work at downtown and similar distance from Charles River. The move in date is 9/1 but the happiness level has already been elevated. Here is a shot of Charles River.

1.I was watching Game of Thrones. One guy trying to learn swordsmanship sucked badly but still could not pick up anything others taught him. He was frustrated like, “Ah, I can’t get any better!” Because he was so bad, others kidded him like, “Well, you can’t get any worse either…”

2. Sue shared her feelings the other day on FB like, “I started work at Ohio State thirty years and about ten pounds ago…”

3.1 I walked around in Cleveland downtown and for some reason ended up eating pizza sharing a table with a guy and a girl. They came to Cleveland for friends’ wedding. Because the bride is native Indian, the couple decided to hold two weddings, one in traditional American way and the other in native Indian way. So I have to ask the guy and the girl like, “So do you need to give the couple money twice?”

3.2 The girl complained she became pickier with food as she became older (even though she was only in her 20s). I had to be honest to her like, “I hate to say this, but you are probably becoming your mum…”

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I found three abandoned houses probably because of Decline of Detroit on my way moving to Boston. Glad no homeless was inside, but still pretty scary to walk in all by myself.

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1. This is something embarrassing. I didn’t feel well with my gut the other day and the doctor gave me a stool kit to take some stool (feces) sample. I followed the instructions, produced some feces sample and put them in the stool kit wrapped in a bag.

For some reason I needed to carry the bag to the cafeteria for lunch with friends before sending it back to the hospital. Obviously it didn’t sound a good idea to carry some poop to the table with people eating, so I decided to hide the bag in the big container of men’s room holding the used towels for wiping people’s hands assuming nobody will care enough to steal.

Well, after lunch I got back and found my poop taken away by the janitor along with everything else in the container…

2. Yan, Xiaofeng and I took graduation photos of each other a few weeks ago. Yan was self-conscious like, “I wanna keep those photos so that someday in the future I can say, ‘WOW, I used to be this fat.'” I kidded her like “Maybe someday in the future you can say, ‘WOW, I used to be this thin…'”

3. Kim shared the following story on FB. “Me to my ethics class today: ‘Does anyone have any questions?’ Girl raises her hand: ‘Yeah where do you shop? You look great all the time’ ” …

4. I read this regarding the comparisons between Boston and California: “You walk down the street in Boston and people say, ‘fu** you’, they mean ‘have a nice day’. You walk down the street in California and people say, ‘have a nice day’, they mean…”

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On her flight back to China a few months ago, my mum found the same attendant that served her on her flight to USA 6 months before. She was excited and took another photo with her.

1. I attended the wedding of James and Beth two months ago. After the wedding ceremony was over, James and Beth walked out of the wedding hall slowly holding hands with everybody watching. It was exactly when all of a sudden the theme music of Indiana Jones started to be played… Well, marriage did sound like an adventure…

2. I bought people ice creams in the diary store the other day, but Annand only took one bottle of milk. Probably for fun, he kept shaking the milk while we walked back to the office. I had to remind him like, “Dude, do you know that’s not the right way to make milk shake?”

3. Annand missed the phone calls from his female friends the other day. I kidded him like, “Dude, you just saved yourself a lot of sex tonight …”

4. Hillary quoted on FB like, “Everything happens for a raisin …”

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Sorry for talking about graduating for almost two years without being able to graduate. Finally I graduated.

1. I read an ESPN news reporting UM football team had an really intense internal scrimmage game and the wining team would have steak for dinner. The news reported the reward of the game like, “Stakes? Steaks..”

2. We were discussing about submitting papers to a really good journal and Jiankun said he found many papers published by that journal were not that good. I agreed with him like, “You are right. If they can publish crappy work, why can’t they publish ours!?”

3. A distinguished professor is coming to Mohsen’s Phd defense this Monday. Because the professor is so good, I told people that I would try let him know me by telling them I would try to kiss his ass. Jiankun said he wanna do it too. So I was like, “So we should each take a cheek…”

4. Saw this in a zoo marking the camels‘ territory. World’s Bumpiest Ride…

1.The department secretary emailed us all events for the “Mental Health Awareness Week” the other day. I kidded Keerthana like, “Hey Keerthana, mark your calendar. This week is Mental Health Awareness Week…You probably should be aware..”

2. Rama asked Jiankun to ask me how to draw a figure because I did similar thing for one of my published papers. To confirm my capacity, I told Jiankun, “Yes, I can do that. I have a publication as evidence…”

3. We are thinking about submitting one of my papers to a really good journal (Impact Factor>14.0), but not sure if they will review it. The good thing is because Rama is gonna submit Jiankun’s paper to that journal too, we can have some idea about it really quick. I felt lucky and told people in the office seriously like, “Smart people learn from mistakes; smarter people learn from others’ mistake…”

4. Ehab and Kun are partners for a course. Because Ehab needs something that Xi had, but Xi didn’t know Ehab’s email, Xi emailed the thing to Kun. I told Kun, “Dude, you are Ehab’s mailman…”

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Some building’s ceiling in the campus of U of Houston… I am addicted to symmetric structures.. Sign of OCD? 😦

1.I joined the online chatting group of elementary school classmates. Cui, one of my classmates, told people her son couldn’t tell the difference between different men and would call any man “Dad”. Once she took her son to a gym and he called a man doing the bench press “Dad”… And that dude almost dropped the weight bar and killed himself…

2. I read someone telling a story being asked how to solve a really trivial problem for a brain teaser interview by Microsoft. Because he didn’t know the answer and it was a brain teaser, he thought the answer could be anything and therefore told the interviewer that he would just google it. Someone corrected him like, “You probably should say, I will Bing it…”

3. I watched the movie of Everest, in which a guy was asked if his wife is OK with him climbing the Everest. He was like, “Oh, she’s been ok since our divorce…”

4. My mum is so good at pretending to read whatever she had totally no idea about…

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I shared my understanding of programming with office mates the other day. A few years ago it started to dawn on me that life is like programming on the computer in the following sense. For programming, we employ resources of computers and try to control their work flows to do whatever we desired them to do. In real life, everybody was trying to coordinate or control (to some extend) a variety of resources hoping things will turn out to be what we desire them to be. The difference is, in real life we don’t have as much control over things as what we have for programming.

1. Jiankun was trying to tell me something by getting my attention like, “Mingwu, you know what?” I joked with him by interrupting him, “No, I don’t know what..”

2. I joked with Annand by pretending to be in an intimate relationship with him and poked his back. He pretended to be harassed and continued the joke with me, “Dude, behave yourself. I just took the online course of Sexual Violation. I know my rights.” I joked back like, “Well, I don’t…”

3. We were discussing the liver donor for transplant may be a drunk driver killed in an accident. Nima was like, “Are you guys sure the donor’s liver is still good for transplant for all the alcohol? …”

4. I was playing soccer in an indoor soccer arena and found my soccer ball was staying in a unreachable corner of the arena and thought some bastards kicked my ball there but didn’t bother to get it out. So I spent some efforts and got the ball out. Surprisingly the moment I got home, I found another ball on the floor of my room…

1. I haven’t seen Mike for years and finally met him the other day. I told him I didn’t sleep well for days. He was like, “Is it because you were too excited to see me?” I was like, “Well, I don’t wanna lie, but I don’t wanna hurt your feelings either…”

2. One professor invited one speaker for a seminar. He encouraged the students in his class, which I was auditing, to go to the seminar by promising “Whoever got the signature of the speaker can get 4.0 for his course…”

3. Jiankun and I ordered one big hot pot in a restaurant and asked if Kim would like to taste some. Keerthna thought we asked her too so she went ahead and tasted some too. I kidded her by talking to others like, “Huh, Keerthna always invited herself…”

4. I didn’t grow a pair of wings as promised by Red Bull and just received my very first lawsuit settlement payment against Red Bull… (News about the law suit is here)

1.Jiankun stood in front of Annand’s desk the other day and pretended to be cool by planning to ask, “Hey, What the fuck?” However he made a grammar mistake which totally negated the coolness he was trying to deliver and ended up asking, “Hey, what the fuck up?”

2. John McAfee is the founder of McAfee Inc and left McAfee Inc in 1994. McAfee Inc was sold to Intel in 2011 and decided to drop the name of “McAfee”. When asked about his opinions about this incidents, John McAfee expressed his pleasure at his name no longer being associated with the software. “I am now everlastingly grateful to Intel for freeing me from this terrible association with the worst software on the planet…”

3.1 I saw a worn out mark on Mike’s iphone as below and asked him about it. He told me that mark was only on the case by saying, “Just in case…” (This is probably the best joke I heard for a long long time…”

3.2 He also told me he was listening to a radio station and the host was named, “Justin Case”…

For last week’s blog I reported Lozzy made 50 pins saying “Syd Sucks”. Yesterday Phoenix house actually threw a “Syd Sucks (Party)!” inviting hundreds of people. And those who came early enough can get a pin. On the party’s FB page, people reported many incidents that Syd behaved either carelessly or oddly or both to kid Syd, all of which were pretty funny and came with hashtag #SydSucks#. They all came out of people’s love to Syd including Syd’s brother’s.

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The best post is actually from Syd’s dad.

I think Syd has a cool dad.

1. We were having a skype meeting. Right after the connection was built between Rama and Jinoh’s computers, Rama asked, “Wait, how can I share the screen?” Right after Rama solved his confusion, Jinoh asked, “Do you guys know how I can turn up the sound volume?” I kidded them like, “Come on. You guys talked like grandpas…”

2. Keerthna came to the office at 5pm the other day, because phd student schedule is flexible. I kidded her by asking, “So you start working on the 2nd shift?”

3. Jiankun came to the conclusion that the meat of bears and rats did not taste good because their food were somehow not fresh and not tasting good. I kidded him like, “So are you saying pigs’ food taste good?”

4. Syd and Lozzy were my ex house mates. Lozzy posted this photo on Syd’s facebook page the other day like, “fifty pins just delivered to my doorstep!”

1.Some of my Chinese friends lamented that it’s almost been 10 years since we landed on USA (2007) when chatting online.

1.1 Sex God became emotional like, “10 years ago we were still dumbasses.” I kidded him like, “Don’t get us wrong. Only you were a dumbass 10 ago…”

1.2 He continued being emotional like, “10 years later, we are now dumbasses.” I kidded him one more time, “You got us wrong again. 10 years later, still only you were a dumbass…”

2. Someone on Rama’s funding team was not lucky and caused many unfortunate incidents that delayed the projects.

2.1 Rama believes some people are always luckier than others like, “Next time before I hire someone, I have to ask if he is a lucky person…”

2.2 I disagree with him, “That’s not true. I believe people are equally lucky overall. If someone was luckier before, he probably would have less luck after you hire him…”

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The scream on a pumpkin I saw many years ago.

1. Cleveland Cavalier fired its head coach, who is from Israel, and fans believed that was Lebron James’ bad. Angry Israel fans left message in Hebrew on Twitter @Lebron like,

1.1 I wish you go to bed believing you are charging your phone for the next day but you are not. Amen!

1.2 I wish you were in the middle of watching a porno on phone when you data plan just ran out. Amen!

2. Anand showed me a link listing the most googled product in each country. (The link is here.)

2.1 While the one in China is expected electronics, the one in India is “Cow..”

2.2 The moment I thought cow is pretty funny I found the one in Iraq is actually “Kidney…”

1. Jiankun suggested us eat burgers on Martin Luther King Day. I was confused and asked why. He said because he thought the black liked burgers… I found it pretty funny like, “First of all, you shouldn’t be a racist; second of all, if you wanna be a racist, you should do it right…”

2. Anand has commitment issues but he likes to pretend to be in an intimate relationship with Jiankun. I had to warn him one day that, “Dude, watch out! Jiankun is the one with no commitment issue…”

3. Amy visited Dubai and a shopping mall which claimed itself the biggest shopping mall in the world. She posted a photo on FB like, “happy to say i left the world’s largest shopping mall without buying anything…” I replied like, “So proud of you girl!”

4, I went to an event named Michigan Winter Dog Classic yesterday and saw this dog without a tail. I told the dog’s owner like, “No offense, but your dog probably needs a retailer…”

(This is an old joke, which was first told by my old friend Mike Burt in Oct 2007 when I was in OSU. Here is the link that recorded that joke more than 8 years ago… Time did fly.. )

1. There is a girl named Mariah on the same floor of our office in the engineering building. I told people the other day like, “I am not sure if she’s married, but I am sure her son’s name is Jesus…” (Based on bible…)

2. Mohsen had a friend in the office discussing about something. They were kind to ask me if their discussion bothered me. I was like, “No, you are good. I am sleepy and need people talking to stay awake..”

3. After Mohsen came back from lunch, Jiankun asked him, “How is your food?” Mohsen said, “It is good.” I corrected Mohsen by intentionally interpreting “How is your food?” in another way like, “Mohsen, you probably should say, ‘I don’t think they are doing good. They just got eaten…'”

4. I sat in one class and the professor warned students of no cheating like, “Please no cheating. That’s a lot of paper work for me to do…”

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I’ve only seen fractional numbers used as address twice before. One is 319 1/2 Grand River Ave, East Lansing, MI; the other is 6 1/2 Ave in Midtown Manhattan, New York City. Just saying.

1.I was playing a sport game with people and Ian’s wrist became reddish for some reason. People suggested him go to school’s hospital. Peter was like, “Statically speaking, the school’s doctor probably will say you are pregnant…”

2. I have been using Mohsen’s facial tissues a few times when he was not around, because I knew he wouldn’t care. The other day it came to me that I probably should let him know, so I ask him, “Mohsen, can I steal your tissues 5 times in the past month?”

3. I went to a seminar teaching people about proposals for funding.

3.1 In order to show the importance of a title, the seminar’s speaker told me people about a book, named “Everything Men Know about Women” published 25 years ago and sold 20,000 copies in the first week. The book has 128 pages but every single page is just blank…

3.2 One reviewer commented like, “Using a little bit more than 100 pages, this book presents everything men know about women…”

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Something seems to be upsetting this baby..

1. Annand is super insecure of his belly size. When people were chatting in office he can be totally not distracted and focusing whatever he was doing. But whenever anyone mentioned the word “belly”, he would turn around and ask, “What? Did you guys talk about me?”

2. Afeifei gave a speech among other speakers the other day, after which he joked with me by asking “Did you even understand anything?” I joked back like, “I can only understand your talk. It’s so easy..”

3. I read a book about computer history, which mentioned the following episodes.

3.1 After transistor was invented, it was widely used in the radio and boost the popularity of radio, which in turn boosted the popularity of Rock&Roll music in 1950s and 1960s. The Rock&Roll music was so loud and annoying to some people including Walter Brattain, one of the transistor’s co-inventors, who once lamented like, “The only regret I have about the transistor is its use for Rock&Roll…”

3.2  Douglas Engelbart presented a demo computer in 1968 with all elements of modern computer, including network, graphical interface, hyperlinks, video conference and a lot more. Because since then all computer demos have been simply its implementation, this demo was retrospectively named “The Mother of All Demos…”
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Found the mailboxes of a community. Neat design.

I was at my friend’s graduation ceremony and ended up sitting next to a lady and her daughter.

1.1 The lady told me she and her family came here for her son’s gf’s graduation and her son’s gf was a nurse. A few minutes later the lady turned to me and tried to tell me her son’s gf was a nurse again before it came to her that she already had done so. She joked like, “People in my age tends to do stuff like that…” I joked back by asking, “I am sorry. What did you try to tell me?” She laughed and I joked like, “I asked because I wanna make you feel good about yourself…”

1.2 One speaker was delivering a speech and encouraged all graduates like, “Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do something.” The lady turned to me like, “True, but except your mum…”

1.3 Another speaker was the chief editor of National Geographic Magazine and talked about her story of quitting college after her junior year. I talked to the lady like, “Very helpful suggestion. But it may come too late for a graduation ceremony…”

1.4 The graduation ceremony was held in Michigan State U and the lady’s daughter was studying in U of Michigan. During the ceremony I told the lady and her daughter that I was a secret fan of Ohio State football. The lady’s daughter appeared surprised and joked like, “Well, nobody here likes you.” I joked back like, “Well, I wanna be honest with you guys just in case somebody here likes me…”

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Wangcai found and started developing a secret love affair undetected with his gf nearly one year ago, freshedly recovered by paparazzi in the past holiday when they were shopping in a mall. His gf’s name remains unknown…

1. I used computers of windows system most of the time because many engineering softwares don’t support MAC. So one day when I had to work on a MAC book for a presentation 6 months ago, I appeared clumsy and had to apologize to the audience like, “Sorry, I am a PC guy…” (Search “PC guy” on Youtube, you will find a series of “PC guy” commercials Apple ran for 3 years)

2. I told Anand that I am getting close to have six packs. He was jealous like, “Shit, I don’t like men with 6 packs…”

3. I watched a video on Youtube of someone driving a car crossing a river only on two pieces of long and flexible wood. It was super risky but the guy made it. Someone commented like, “Let’s talk about balls…”

4. The plate number of Jiankun’s car is “Niu Bi”, which means “Bad Ass” in Chinese. Prof Deller saw it and asked what it meant. Jiankun mistakenly thought “Niu Bi” means “Asshole” and told it to Prof Deller. And Prof Deller was like, “Actually, Asshole is a very good name for a car plate…”

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The University of Chicago has a really beautiful campus.

1. I stayed in engineering school’s computer lab and overheard a girl talking to her friends like, “I have to confess to you guys I made it until this semester without crying because of school…”

2. The pants of Yiou’s 4-years-old son became dirty one day, because he stood on his knees. He was really sweet and asked Yiou if he broke the pants and pants were OK to wear again. Yiou shared the story on line and lamented like, “Sign, kids from poor family tend to care about stuff.” I joked like, “Hahaha, kids from poor family probably should take off the pants before standing on the knees…”

3. There was an ECE department holiday party at noon the other day. Minutues before noon I saw Brian walking to the office. He told me he was going to the party but did not tell me he was only going to set it up. So 3 minutes later when I saw him coming back from the party, I was quite surprised and asked him, “Was the party over?!”

4. I walked around in engineering undergraduates design expo and saw one fun competition as a course design for Heat Transfer. Students in that course were required to design a strategy to heat up a hot dog and compete with each other to see which team can get the hot dog reach highest temperature after 5 mins. Pretty fun!

1. I came across Afeifei in the hall way. He noticed me holding a book named “It’s Not the How or the What but the Who” and asked pointing to the book, “Is it why you come to find me?” I walked backward and was like, “No, it’s why I am walking away from you.”

2. Afeifei and I both asked a question in a class. During the break, I joked with him by asking, “Dude, did you notice something? The professor said mine was a good question, but said nothing on yours…”

3.1 Keerthana joined women engineering society a few months ago and mentioned she was a feminist again in the office after that. I joked with people like, “Huh, after Keerthana joined women engineering society, her belief became stronger..”

3.2 One good thing about women engineering society is they gave members lots of free food frequently. One day Keerthana brought back a box of pie. On the box cover ironically was a lady working in the kitchen, an image which probably did not agree with the ideology of feminist and women engineering society.

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Found this plate in a hut near Yosemite 6 months ago. The end of “AH” made “lobstah” a word of more fun.

1. Scott and Sarah are a couple and both my friends. They posted a photo of them together on FB. I kidded Scott by replying like, “No way. Sarah is so out of Scott’s league..”

2. ESPN held college football day in Ohio State last weekend. Desmond Howard, a U Michigan previous football star player appeared in the campus and on TV disguised as a crazy woman. When asked why he was doing that, he said, “There are so many crazy fans on campus, I wanna blend in with all the craziness…”

3. Rama asked me to pull together a draft which I was hesitant to do, because I was not sure what he liked to write in the draft. He was like, “If I were you I would sit and think really hard what to write.” I was like, “That is actually my problem. I don’t know what you think hard to write..”

4. The department dean met us to review Rama’s Interest of Confliction because Rama had a company. I knew we need to do it every year, after the meeting I said goodbye to the dean like, “See you next year…”

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This squirrel is working on his Halloween pumpkin…

1. I found a course named Large Data on internet. Someone commented under like, “I probably will wait for the one for Extra Large…”

2.1 I dropped by Afeifei’s office to chill, when his professor called to ask him to go downstairs. So he talked to his office mate pointing to me like, “I am going downstairs. You take care of this fucker, OK?” and continued like, “I need a baby tomorrow.” His roommate was like, “Don’t worry. I will give you twins.”

2.2 I asked Afeifei’s officemate like, “Did Afeifei fuck with you a lot in the office?”

3. I found this bumper sticker on campus. Obviously parking on campus can be stressful.

80. The Everything Store: Jeff Bezos and the Age of Amazon -Brad Stone 90%

A biography of Amazon’s founder. I like the story of Jeff Bezos, not only because it is exciting to figure out how the empire was built from scratch but also because I am a big fan of Bezos’ long term thinking strategy. To always keep long term goal in mind is the best way to avoid short term crises and build something to last.

79. Moonwalking with Einstein: The Art and Science of Remembering Everything -Joshua Foer 70%

This is a story of the author who became a memorizing champion with a mediocre aptitude by receiving training of memorizing. I admit it is cool have a photographic memory, but I don’t think it worth tons of time and training to get it, because the difference between people and computer is our ability of understanding, analyzing and interacting with other people. Why to spend time trying to be a super calculator or memorizer when it can be simply done by computers. Anyway, it is still fun to know about the story, but that is probably all I get from the book.

78. Sam Walton: Made In America -Sam Walton 95%

An autobiography of Walmart’s founder. What a legend! It, to some extent, explained how and why Sam Walton can build such an empire. Walton’s wisdom and work ethics are very respectable.

77. The Remains of the Day -Kazuo Ishiguro 85%

A novel about a butter who served a UK Lord before and after WWII. It’s Jeff Bezos’s favorite novel and he said he learned more from this book than any other business book. There is a lot to learn regarding people holding their respect to their profession and royalty.

76. Above the Line: Lessons in Leadership and Life from a Championship Season -Urban Meyer 90%

Ohio State Univ football team coach’s book about leadership and incredible story of winning a championship last year. There is no nonsense bullshit. Everything about leadership sounds convincing and testified. I like the book.

75. SuperFreakonomics -Steven Levitt 85%

A sequential book of Freakonomics. A similar way of writing and a really book with some critical insights toward various topics in life and society. The only issue is the stories of some chapters are somewhat cheesy to be put together, but I have to admit it’s super hard to produce high quality writing using the same style and similar content.

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For the complete list of books I have been reading, please click here.

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Found two trees filled with 4 seasons last weekend. (I realized having only trees in a shot makes photo boring, even though the trees themselves were beautiful. So I parked my car intentionally close to the trees to make my photo look better. #The art of parking for better photos..#)

1. I attended a seminar and the speaker was talking about predicting heart attack. Someone asked, “What would a guy do if he knows he will have a heart attack in a few minutes?”

1.1 Someone in the audience was like, “Maybe that itself will give him a heart attack..”

1.2 Another guy was like, “Maybe he will call a lawyer..”

2. LK requested Rama to do something in a meeting so that he could access data. After the meeting Rama told me he needed to do the thing right now, otherwise LK would conclude he couldn’t do any work. I was like, “Huh, that’s a bad conclusion…”

3. We were chatting and Jiankun claimed he would work out more. Right after that it came to him that he needed to submit resumes and therefore he told us that, “Oh I need to do some job hunting now.” I was like, “Is it your way of working out?”

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Sarah had her BD the other day and here was the present her friends gave her…

1, I asked Annand how his experiment was going and he said he got decent results. Mohsen was like, “Decent results are the worst results. They are not good enough to wrap up the project and not bad enough to give up the idea..”

2. Xiaopeng and Shaochen shared a 2b apartment for 2 years. Before they moved in they were wondering which floor to live on, 1st floor, so that their noise would bother nobody, or 3rd floor, so that nobody’s noise would bother them. They spent lots of time thinking about it and in the end decided to live on the 3rd floor…

3. Annand told me he has been rejected by some girls. I tried to comfort him, but he said those girls were not his type. I was like, “Obviously, whichever girl that rejected Annand was not his type..”

4. Lizzy shared an article talking about how good ex-roomies were on Hillary’s FB page and said she missed Hillary. I joked like, “You ladies are so girly. Grow up and be a man!”

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Notre Dame’s campus has a cafeteria offering pizza baked in a real stove. Really nice.

1.I asked Rama about one of my understanding about one research problem. He disagreed and joked I had a serious mistake. I was like, “No, I don’t have a serious mistake. I only have a theory mistake.”

2. I went to a series of seminars last Saturday. One speaker, who is the event’s organizer, started his talk like, “Hello everybody, I am the most important speaker, because I am the one in charge of pizza for lunch..”

3.1 I audited a course and the professor’s stylus was not working on her computer, so she asked us if we know why. I was like, “Maybe it is out of ink?”

3.2 Sadly nobody got my joke and everybody including the professor looked at me confusedly. Afeifei later asked me what I said. I was like, “Dude, you are asking me to explain my joke. That’s the biggest insult to me.”

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U of Northwestern campus offers free tools for student to maintain their bikes. Very thoughtful.

1. Six of us went to an Indian restaurant and ordered some Naan. All of a sudden, I told Annand my discovery, “Dude, you have a nan in your name…”

2. Annand told Keerthna some food was not good for health in the long run. I comforted her like, “Don’t worry, you won’t live long anyway…”

3. Jiankun bought us lunch out the other day. When we came back at 2pm, we told Ahmad we just came back from lunch and he thought that was too late for lunch. I was like, “Well, not for free lunch…”

4. I drove Jiankun to a mechanics shop and saw this on the door:

1, Afeifei introduced me to his fiancee last year. I met him and his fiance again the other day. Because his fiance looked different from one year ago, I asked Afeifei why she looked different. He told me they just got married. So I joked like, “Huh, maybe that’s why she looked unhappy…”

2. Annand told me girls liked to be called chicks. So when Keerthana walked in the office, I asked her, “Hey Keerthana, Annand told me girls like to be called chicks. Is it true?”

3. We told Annand he could take a shower in the gym if he liked, but he said he didn’t feel comfortable showering in front of others. I was like, “Dude, you eat using hands and wipe butt without using toilet paper in India, but you can’t shower in front of others?”

4. Rand Paul recognized the book of Hillary Clinton’s Memoir as his favorite fiction… (Click here for the news on The New York Times)

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The campus of University Of Chicago is beautiful.

1. Di returned to China eight months ago and worked in a government department. Someone told me for some reason Di can commute to work in a police car. I was like, “Huh, how long does he have to work? One year or two years?”

2. I watched an interview of Steve Jobs and John Lasseter hosted by Charlie Rose in 1996 for the grand release of Toy Story on Youtube. Rose was quite impressed by Jobs who started a computer company, got fired in a company politics incident but did some contribution in entertainment industry ten years later. In the end of the interview, Rose talked to Jobs like, “I am expecting to interview you again in five or ten years. Maybe you will be working in another industry.” Jobs was like, “You know Charlie, I like to stick around until got fired sometime…”

3. Ali got married to a Chinese girl a few months ago and offered to give me some suggestions on Chinese girls. I was like, “What are you talking about? I know everything about Chinese girls. They are insecure and like to be in control of men.” Ali was like, “Dude, it’s not just Chinese girls. All girls are like that…”

4. One spot on Grand River can view Bald Eagle Nest. Annoying people drove cops so crazy that cops have to put up this sign…

Eagle Nest reminded me of Adolf Hitler’s 50th birthday’s gift- Eagle’s Nest, a teahouse perched on a mountain summit somewhere in Germany. Just saying.

1. I saw an ad of Sprint on TV in which a guy made a time machine because he wanna get his iphone of 17 month later so that he can get out of the contract and get a new iphone. After the Sprint guy explained their promotion, the time machine made a Bing sound and the guy took something out of the time machine and ate it, which he claimed was the leftover of the next day’s dinner…

2. Jiankun was doing TA for Rama and had to do the answer for the homework. Because Rama was not happy with the answer, he made Jiankun redo it three times. Jiankun was like, “Damn, I am so busy this week.” Keerthana was like, “Whoever has to do the same homework three times is for sure busy…”

3. There is a lady in the building who is pretty nice to everybody and Jiankun likes to talk to her. And Jiankun joked she was his flirt buddy…

4. Following are the best designed spam mails I received ever. The first mail asked me to do survey for them and seriously put two $1 bills inside, promising another $5 if I do and return the survey.

Out of curiosity I did and returned the survey. They honored their promise. I am totally  impressed

1. JB asked me why a number of suspicious people who were my friends on Facebook requested to be his friend, which I didn’t know. He said, “I thought they may be little Chinese hotties that you wanted to share with me.” I was like, “No way. first of all they are not hotties. second of all even if they are, I am gonna keep them all for myself.. :)I think you made friends with the wrong guy…”

2. Jiankun and Keerthana were discussing about the food of Burma, a country which just changed its name from Myanmar. I was like, “Why did they change their name? Did they just get married?”

3. Annand said he left something in Ann Arbor and I joked with him by asking if he left his underpants there like, “Dude, if you wanna do it, you should do it right…”

4. Found this ad on the yellow book left at the door of my apartment. Looks like some business should never market itself by low cost…

1. Annand likes to hit on girls but doesn’t know how. So he talks only about cultures. I laugh at him. One day I asked him all of a sudden seriously, “Dude, talk to me. Talk some culture to me.”

2. Annand has many female friends. I joked with people saying “Annand has many friends with no benefits…”

3. When I was interning in Retia, a big amount of junk calls poured in all of sudden one day and people were wondering why. I made a guess like, “Maybe someone upload a hot photo on a porn site and left Retia’s number?”

4. I went to hospital a few months ago and first of all the nurse wanna measure my weight. I was like, “Damn, I just ate lunch..”

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Once upon a time in Chicago (the OhYeah version with no post procession)

74. Freakonomics -Steven Levitt 90%

A best seller of interesting topics and misunderstanding in daily life, including decline of US crime rate in 1990s was caused by the birth control decades before but not growth of economy, how to identify cheating teachers in public school, why some drug dealers had to stay with their parents and how and why the popularity of American first names fluctuate with time. Some critical thinking stuff to understand interesting phenomena.

73. Think like a Freak -Steven Levitt 90%

The same authors of the last book talking about suggestions of doing critical thinking to understand the world and make some use of it. Actually the authors have created a community of fans following their work including 5 millions of followers on podcast. I am not a super fan of the book, because some of arguments were not perfectly supported, but a big fan of the topics.

72. Fast Food Nation -Eric Schlosse 75%

A book talking about how fast food industry shaped American society. Fast food industry started with growth of auto industry and high way constructions in 1950s. It talked about not only the junk food, health issues and life styles, but also the farming industry, food process industry, restaurant industry and their employees and values toward life. A neat slice view of American society.

71. Blue Ocean Strategy -Chan Kim 85%

A business book of a fresh idea: the best way to compete is not to compete by not playing the old competition rules and creating some advantages in the measures not even in the horizon. I like the idea, but many examples fit the model too perfect probably of survival bias – meaning those who use similar strategies but failed can never be known. It might also be just one oversimplified explanation of complicated phenomena. At the same time, I wonder if the idea has any prediction values instead of simply good explanation of the past. Anyway the idea sounds neat and perhaps a new method to do the thinking.

70. Excellent Sheep -William Deresiewicz 85%

A book by a Yale professor contemplating current education system and the students who struggled to figure out their meanings of life. Credentialism pushed students building up things that help them get into schools as good they can or companies that pay as well as possible, even with no ideas the meaning of doing so. Many sharp opinions that make me think.

69. Elon Musk: Tesla, SpaceX, and the Quest for a Fantastic Future -Ashlee Vance 90%

An authorized biography of Elon Musk with detailed story about how Musk evolved into an unprecedented legend and still growing. Really nice read peeping into a iconic figure’s life.

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Click here for Books Written in English I have Read since 2011

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At Mackinac Bridge 3 months ago

1.1 There was a tennis ball in the office 3 years ago. We played it and made a lot of noise every day. Finally the professor downstairs had enough and came upstairs one day asking Jiankun politely, “Could you please do me a favor?” We were all puzzled until finally figuring what the favor is…

1.2 Annand joined the lab last year, found the tennis ball and started playing with it one day. Mohsen and I warned him of what happened 3 years ago but he didn’t believe it simply because we joked with him a lot. So I asked him, “If you don’t believe it, why do you think there is a tennis ball in the lab but nobody plays it?”

2. Hot Jordan was doing an internship in a construction company and he posed on FB like, “Well it’s 1:00 am and I’m off to go construct one last industrial sized manure pit” I replied like, ” I knew u r a good crap taker, but I didn’t know you are industrial good. I am impressed by your poop size, man.”

3. Sanaz asked Mohsen to open a container for her. Since I joked a lot about their marriage, this time I told Mohsen, “I don’t know why you wanna get married, but now I know why Sanaz does…”

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Yosemite, again, picturesque.

1.1 Annand was text chatting on his phone with a group of old friends, when I robbed his phone and found a girl thanked him for a birthday gift. I was so excited and told people Annand bought a girl a gift. Obviously that was not what Annand worried about, because that girl thanked him in the group chat…

1.2 We couldn’t help laughing and Annand looked upset. So I try to remind him of how bad it really was like, “Dude, is she the only girl in that group?” Finally he figured out, “Damn, now I need to buy every girl a gift in that group…”

2.1 Annand asked me to be his wing man in a public event so that he can talk to one girl, who he claimed was not attractive to him. So I asked him later, “Dude, if you don’t like how she looked, why did you wanna talk to her?” He was like, “I just wanna talk about cultures with her…” (It reminded me of Jiankun who wanna know a pretty Korean girl because he wanna know how to make Kimchi…)

2.2 I asked Annand further, “If you wanna talk about culture, why didn’t you talk to guys?” He went like, “I talked to guys.” I went totally crazy, “Dude, the only guys you talked to was me!!”

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New recruit: Pete who’s been bullied but still filled with sunshine.

1.1 Annand collected physiology data on me for his experiment and decided to buy me ice cream to show his gratitude for me “being a dot (a data point)” on his paper…

1.2 So we went to the diary store and both ordered a single spoon of ice cream. When we checked out, the girl cashier asked, “Two singles (spoon of ice cream)?” I was gonna pretend to hit on her by saying, “Yes, we are two singles…” but end up only saying “Yes, two singles”, because she was not my type…………… All right, the real truth is the punch line did not hit on me until 5 sec after the girl cashier asked. Next time..

2. Here is another psychology experiment I did before. I found: when two people either sitting face to face or on side of each other for a while during conversation, meeting or movie, if one of them changed his posture (for example start holding arms around himself or putting two hands on the back of his head), the other would tend to do the same. I actually did such an experiment on Marc (CEO of the company I interned last year) in a conference in NYC last year without informing him. The result confirmed my assumption. Sadly, that was the only experiment I did on this assumption.

3. I read a question someone asked a book’s author, “Did I miss a lot if I didn’t read your book?” The author answered like, “Independent study showed female readers who read my book tend to have greater sexual pleasure; male readers who read my book tend to have faster swimming sperms…”

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Laid back summer on Grand River

1. Annand showed me a girl’s photo and asked me what I thought of her. I told him, “Not bad, top 30%. But definitely good enough for you. You are top 95%…”

2. Chloe posted on FB like, “My cough and I are having the most dysfunctional relationship ever. One minute I thought it was out of my life for good, and the next minute it came running back to me taking my breath away.” I comforted her like, ” I hope your cough plays some hard-to-get…”

3.1 Annand likes to sing songs from time to time in the office. To be fun whenever he sang, I asked him, “Hey Annand, can you sing a song for me?” Unsurprisingly he said no and stopped singing. So I told him the truth, “Dude did you know what I just did to you? It’s a psychology experiment. When I asked you to sing a song for me, your feeling is that you are singing that song for me not for yourself, which is not worthwhile. So you stopped automatically.” And he couldn’t help laughing… #Psychology Experiment#

3.2 To be consistent, I also asked him later in the office like, “Hey dude, can you knock the desk for me?” and “Hey dude, can you laugh for me?” He did stop knocking the desk but not the laughing… Experiment failed… 😦

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Bike shaped bike racks. Good thinking.

68. Creativity, Inc.: Overcoming the Unseen Forces That Stand in the Way of True Inspiration -Ed Catmull 90%

Ed Catmull is a co-founder and longtime CEO of Pixar, a legendary computer animated film studio. This is Ed’s contemplation of how to build a culture in an organization that can cultivate creativity. This is not such a book that full of perfectly correct nonsense, but full of critically justified insights. Everybody can be creative from time to time. The question is how to deliver controllable and on-demand creativity and creation.

67. Crystal Magnates: Nick Saban, Urban Meyer and the Principles of Dominance -Truman Alexander %80

I’ve been fascinated with college football and stories of star coaches, because they seemed to know how to deliver controllable success. This is a third party’s book about the secrets that behind two current biggest star coaches . Most of told inside the book was not new and sometimes ill supported. But a solid reminder of some principles that made someone different.

66. Street Smarts: An All-Purpose Tool Kit for Entrepreneurs -Norm Brodsky 85%

A book about fundamental principles of business model and suggestions on non-high tech companies based on the author’s firsthand experience. This book reads sincere and offers quite useful guidance at least for me,

65. Moneyball: The Art of Winning an Unfair Game -Michael Lewis

This book is a best seller concerning a real story of one MBL’s team manager outperforming those with huge budget by using statistics analysis. A movie starred by Brad Pitt was based on this book. An interesting way to interpreting things in an unorthodox manner based on mathematics and modeling, which I am quite interested in understanding my surroundings.

64. The 11 Laws of Likability: Relationship Networking . . . Because People Do Business with People They Like -Michelle Tillis LEDERMAN 70%

I can’t say I Love this book, because I was expecting a thorough scientific research why people tend to like others. Most of the book’s conclusions are either perfectly correct nonsense or way too subjective. However I am inspired by two of the book’s conclusions that people tend to like those who are similar to themselves and those who they are familiar with. Sounds about right.

63. Losing My Virginity: How I Survived, Had Fun, and Made a Fortune Doing Business My Way -Richard Branson 85%

This is an autobiography of an unorthodox billionaire starting from scratch. Fun story and quite an adventurer in the sense that he did many cool things such as trying to cross Atlantic on a ball0on carrier. Fun and cool life, even though I am not quite sure what I can get out of this book.

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Click here for Books Written in English I have Read since 2011

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Life is like a dick. When it becomes hard, just fuck it. (Yosemite, May. Again, Yosemite is beautiful.)

1. Xiaopeng was on a bus back from Chicago on a heavy snowy night. Because of an accident on high way, the bus got stuck for a long long time. People were not happy. One lady on the bus called the bus company and the one answering the phone asked what they can do for her. The lady was like, “You asked me what you can do for me? I need a helicopter!”

2. Jiankun accidentally made some Oink noise when yawning in the office and we all laughed. He tried to make himself look less embarrassed like, “I was sleepy.” I was like, “So you decided to become a pig?!”

3. I read a book by Richard Branson, who got married with his wife when their two children were already six or seven years old. So when his son heard another couple was getting married a few weeks later, he was like, “They can’t get married. They don’t even have a kid…”

4. Annand was always talking about hitting on girls, but never made any moves. Finally he admitted to us that he didn’t know how. I kidded him like, “I thought you were good at hitting on girls. It turned out you were only good at talking about hitting on girls dude..”

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Found this nice designed soup spoon in a restaurant. I like it.

1. When I was still living in Phoenix, Hot Jordan’s roomie James was gonna be Paul’s roomie for the next year, while Paul’s roomie John was gonna be Hot Jordan’s roomie for the next year. Hot Jordan was excited about called it “Roomie Swap”… (Think about Wife Swap)

2. I was checking out some unsalted roasted peanuts in a grocery store. The cashier told me she never ate them before asked me how they tasted like. Since they basically have not much flavor, I thought a little bit and told her, “It tastes like nothing…”

3. Jiankun always claimed to do different things and changed his mind frequently. So I made a comment in the office to kid him the other day like, “The only thing predictable about Jiankun is he’s unpredictable…”

4. Rama introduced me to other committee members for my comprehensive exam two years ago and claimed he didn’t know I had an honors degree in college when he recruited me. I told the other committee members like, “Well, that’s the bonus I gave him.”

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The library on Mackinac Island, small but homy. I like it.

1. The last time I visited hospital I chatted with the doctor and asked her where she learned all the stuff. She told me she was once googling a disease of a patient using smart phone in the hallway and got caught by the patient… I couldn’t help laughing and pretended to be the doctor comforting the patient like, “Well, good luck with your treatment…”

2. When interning in Retia Medical, I said goodbye to people before leaving for home one day. Keerthana replied me like, “Goodbye, let us know if you wanna kill yourself…”

3. We were discussing about receiving money for wedding. Mohsen said it was too bad for him unable to make money in that way since he’s married. I reminded him like, “You can get divorced and get married again~”

4.I asked Hot Jordan why he went home to see his girlfriend every weekend when I was still living in Phoenix. He said because he liked her. I kidded him like, “It’s a lame lie man. You should have figured out something better…”

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Optimus Prime in action…

1. James and Beth have been dating for seven or eight years and announced their engagement on Facebook the other day. I replied and congratulated them like, “This relationship has been going too fast… You kids should take the time to know each other and slow it down~ 🙂 jk, congratulations guys!!”

2. My mum stayed with me for 6 months last year. A few months after she left, people asked me how I was doing. I told them like, “I am still recovering from the damage my mum’s done on me…”

3. I watched an episode of Friends when Phoebe walked in and pushed down a box of cereal standing on the table like, “Oh, I am a cereal (serial) killer…”

4. I told Jian I met a bear at Yosemite (click here for details) like, “The moment I saw the bear, I was ready to run.” Jian was like, “That’s useless. Bears run faster than you.” I was like, “Dude as long as I run faster than others, I will be OK…”

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What irresistible boxers…

1. Kim was my Phoenix housemate and is currently a PhD student in PSU. She told people on her Facebook that one student in her TA class made a comment on her semester assessment form like, “This woman is a FEMINIST. I felt trapped by her liberal ideology all semester long. Help.” …

2.1 I went to hospital and the doctor asked me if I was married? I joked with her like, “No, I am still happy…” (To clarify, I said that only trying to be funny and I still wanna get married.)

2.2 I was chatting with that doctor and she asked me if I can stand the winter in Michigan. I joked with her like, “Actually I like winter. I enjoy staying inside thinking about how much people are suffering outside…”

2.3 There was a skeleton model hanging in the hospital as below. I asked the doctor like, “Oh, what happened to that guy?” She was like, “Well, he didn’t do what we asked him to do…”

1. Diffusion of innovation -Everett M. Rogers 90%

It’s a mind blowing book and a systematic research report about how and why new ideas, technologies and innovations get accepted or rejected by a community. Many examples dissected why even good innovations are not welcome for some cases. Great book for people who try to understand people, sociology and psychology for future guidance in both career and life.

2. Pour Your Heart Into It: How Starbucks Built a Company One Cup at a Time –Howard Schultz 90%

It’s a history about how Starbucks started up and became a huge success worldwide by 1999 written by Starbucks’ founder and CEO. I was fascinated because it recorded how the founder built an emperor basically from scratch. It is inspiring since I am working on my scratch. (The author has another book “Onward: How Starbucks Fought for Its Life without Losing Its Soul” about how the author saved Starbucks from a series crises at the onset of 21st century, which is less attractive to me simply because I have no emperor to save..)

3. Swoosh: The Unauthorized Story of Nike and the Men Who Played There -J. B. Strasser 90%

It’s a history about how Nike started up, beat competitors such as Adidas and Puma and dominated the sport wears in the world from scratch. Quite detailed and exciting stories. I enjoyed it because of the same reason I like last book: The only thing I have now is scratch.

4. Uganda Be Kidding Me -Chelsea Handler 75%

Chelsea Handler is a wild female comedian and TV producer. It’s a travel log of her and her friends in Africa recording many hilarious episodes. This is an awesome book for fun and time-killing. I watched some of her stand-ups on Youtube which are funny and wild.

5. The Power of Full Engagement: Managing Energy, Not Time, is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal -Jim Loehr 95%

This is a great book to improve people’s performance in life and career. The idea is to work in the highest intensity and relax or regain energy to the maxim for life and next round of work. The best performers do not need to know how to exhaust all energy in greatest intensity during work but also how to relax and regain the energy efficiently. It is quite inspiring.

6. How Good Do You Want to Be?: A Champion’s Tips on How to Lead and Succeed at Work and in Life -Nick Saban 80%

Nick Saban is one of the current top two college football coaches. He wrote this book to introduce how and why he became elite in what he was doing. Most inside the book is just common sense, which turned out to be quite convincing because the author’s writing style and credits in his career.

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Click here for Books Written in English I have Read since 2011

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Haven’t been to many celebrated beaches before, but the one on Mackinac Island was the best I’ve got so far.I

1. I was at Qiong’s Phd defense 1.5 years ago, after which someone mentioned that USA was much restrictive with Irian men’s visas than women’s, because they believe women were less likely to be terrorists. I was like, “Well, never underestimate women…”

2. My mum lived with me for 6 months a few months before. One day she was making dumplings and asked me which of the two dumplings she just made looked better like, “If these two dumplings are girls, which one would you choose, son?”

3. For a while whenever people in the office were planning to say something bad to kid each other, we put a bunch of meaningless expressions beforehand just to make it more dramatic. For example, if I wanna joke with Jiankun, I would say, “To be honest, no offense, btw, just saying, FYI, I think your clothes look ugly today…”

4. I went to a class which we wondered if was given by Kallil, a distinguished professor of school. After I came back, Mohsen asked me if that was given by Kallil. I was like, “Well, I don’t know how Kallil looked. But he said he was Kallil. I assumed he really was..”

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Took a shot of the two cuties because of their cuteness, without being able to read between animals / lines: “Moo Shu Pork” … Obviously this is what Moo Shu Pork is talking about…

1. I was having breakfast at a hotel the other day. The lady serving the food was stirring the scrabbled egg and joked with me like, “Oh, I am making a mess here (referring to the scrabbled egg). I like to make a mess in my life.” I joked back like, “Well, my life is a mess already…”

2. I was at a seminar. The chair told us some of the presenters were not here and the session schedule has to be changed. However the chair still started the session on time by saying, “Anyway, let’s begin the session now and not ruin the schedule immediately..”

3. Annand owned me some money and he forgot. He apologized to me and I joked with him like, “That’s OK, man. It’s easier to forget owning somebody’s money than being owned..”

4. Before Keerthna joined the group for PhD, people discussed about where she should sit in the office. Since she had to sit behind me, I joked with people like, “Good, now it’s easier for her to put her knife on my back..”

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I saw this friendly sign reminding people of their children in a pie bar the other day. I like it.

1. I was watching the retirement interview of Shaq O’Neal on Youtube, on which he told people movingly, “I will miss my basketball, my fans and my free throws…” (He was well known as a really bad free throw shooter and missed tons of free throws in his career…)

2. Jian went to bed really late around 4am. Di was leaving for China and people asked Jian if he can see Di off at 5am the other day. Normal people who couldn’t do it would probably say it is too early, but Jian was like, “I can’t. It is too late…”

3. When I was still living in Phoenix, I kidded Lizzy by asking, “Lizzy, are you a lesbian?” (I have totally no offense to Lesbians at all, BTW.) She was like, “What are you talking about Barton? No. God No.” I was like, “Are you sure, Lizzy? Are you sure?”

4. I drove to Lancester PA and stayed in an old fashioned motel last weekend, which offered “Free Adult Videos” and claimed having delivered “hospitalities for over 50 years”…

1. Jiankun smokes cigarette and we tried to convince him to quit. One day he showed us a pack of “Organic cigarette” and told me that thing was totally healthy. I kidded him like, “So why don’t you eat some organic shit?”

2. I landed in San Franscisco Airport for an interview in Bay area one week ago and met a lady while waiting to take a train for car rental. The lady told me her husband got on the last train but she didn’t. She joked with me like, “After getting on the next train, I need to find a car and a husband, then I will be in good shape…”

3. I hiked Yosemite with Qing Yang last weekend and one of the trails has some horses’ defecation. For one small segment of trail we had to step on either dried defecation or wet ones. I told Qing, “Dude, I was just forced to make a decision between stepping on old crap and fresh crap…”

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I visited Yosemite with Qing Yang last weekend and here are the highlights.
a. Seriously met a bear who sat on the trail and looked at us 25 yards away for 10 seconds… Eventually it was scared away by people coming behind us and walked into the woods. Sadly we didn’t have a chance to take a photo.
b. Really picturesque
c. Learned how to shoot someone’ legs longer than they really are as shown below…

1. After the midterm exam Prof Radha asked and joked with people in the class like, “Anybody has any questions about the grading of the exam? Come and find me after class, I will deduct more points…”

2. We attended a seminar hosted by Rama and he asked us how we liked it later that day. I was like, “There were even no cookies or coffee.. That was definitely the worst seminar ever…”

3. We were discussing about other groups doing similar research to ours. Since Rama was impressed by one group in India and one group in MIT, he was like, “Yeah, Indians are good. MIT is also good.” I was like, “Come’n Rama, you are both indian and MIT…” (Rama is an American born Indian and got Phd from MIT.)

4. I was checking out at Meijier the other day. After I made the payment, the girl cashier gave me the following bunch of coupons and smiled at me like, “They are all yours…”

1. We were discussing about what we were doing in 2003 and people tried to pretend to be younger than others. Nan said he was still in elementary school in 2003 and someone said he was still in kinder garden. I was like, “I was still a sperm in 2003…”

2. I was watching a David Letterman Late Night Show on Youtube interviewing Tina Fey. Letterman said, “Tina has been on this show for over 20 times.” And Fey joked like, “That’s because people canceled on him a lot and I live just nearby…”

3. There was a blind date thing on campus the other day and Annand asked if I would like to go. Since I said no, he asked me why. I was like, “Because people can be ugly…”

4. I caught a cold, had had a running nose for days and used a lot of tissue papers. Earlier today I told people in the office like, “Based on the amount of tissue paper I used today, I think I am getting better now…”

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MSU’s basketball stadium looks a bowl…

1.1 I went back to Phoenix house to check people out and hung out in Cliff’s room, when Cliff told people Lizzy asked him to wake her up from a nap at 9pm which was right then. So we went to Lizzy’s room, opened the door and tried to get her up. Since she was so reluctant to get up, I was like, “Come’n Lizzy, get up. I wanna see you naked…”

1.2 We hung out in Lizzy’s room after she finally got up. After some catching-ups had been done, I wanna leave. Lizzy was like, “Good to see you, Barton. Sorry for not being naked…” I can’t help laughing and replied like, “That’s OK. Next time, Lizzy. Promise me…”

2. I live in Spartan Village near school with a small train station nearby. I was taking a nap yesterday at noon and a weak earthquake of 4.0 happened and woke me up. Since I never expected an earthquake in Michigan, all I was thinking was, “What kind of train is it? It’s pretty good…”

3. I have been cooking a lot for a while and bought about 10 lbs of beef at a Chinese grocery store the other day. When I was checking out, the girl cashier was like, “Do you seriously cook? I thought guys don’t cook.” I was like, “Well can’t find a GF without cooking…”

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Fresh Thyme a grocery store was grand open near my home. I love it. The variety, quality, freshness and price of the food are super good, while the store is decorated with tons of fun stuff like this.

1. I was watching a Youtube video, in which a buffalo was attacking a lion. Someone made a comment under like, “Just imagine getting attacked by your dinner…”

2. I read news on ESPN saying Philadelphia Eagles (a NFL team) decided to sign a contract with Tim Tebow (a quarter back). Meanwhile ESPN made a comment like, “With the addition of Tim Tebow, the Eagles have under contract three of the five worst Quarterbacks in the league over the past five years…”

3. Prof. Radha asked a question about something about variance and nobody bothered to answer. He was joking like, “If somebody doesn’t know the answer, I will call university and evict him from school right now…”

4. Jiankun saw Keerthana writing and commented like, “Oh, your writing looks similar to Rama’s.” I thought about it and was like, “Huh, it doesn’t sound a compliment…”

1. I was signing a lease last year before moving into the current apartment and the lady asked me to sign my initials at the end of every single paragraph of the lease. After I signed like 30 something initials, I complained to the lady like, “Oh man, I used up all my signatures for the rest of year…”

2. We were in the engineering symposium and Jinyao tried but couldn’t open the water bottle. So she asked her male friend to open it for her (it’s one of Chinese girls’ thing to be feminine). I was like, “Obviously your boyfriend spoil you too much. I think you shouldn’t squeeze the bottle lid using two fingers when trying to open it. If I were your boyfriend, I will buy a box of water bottle for you to practice…” And Jinyao was like, “I feel so sorry for your future girlfriend…”

3. MSU’s online learning web address became http://www.d2l.msu.edu, which means “Desire to Learn”. Prof. Radha told us he thought it was “Drink to Learn”…

4. Scott complained about being pulled over by police the other day on Facebook and I comforted him like, “Don’t worry, man. I am sure things will become worse…”

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Xiaoxing, Xiaofeng and I went to see the light house in Feb and here is another shot I took.

1. Buckeye Rebirth: Urban Meyser, an Inspired Team and a New Era at Ohio State -Bill Rabinowitz 85%

I love following various sports for a number of reasons. One of them is sports basically are a model of life. Both of them are about growth, collaboration, competition, control and influence. How some mediocre players can become super stars and how some supers stars become mediocre and even despised. It’s all happening in real life too. This is a book about Urban Meyser, an outstanding coach of Ohio State college football. I love him because after following his stories and watching him talk and behave, I kinda felt like that someone actually seriously know how to be outstanding, which for most people is a totally random process. This is book about him. I like it.

2. Quiet: The power of Introverts in a world that can’t Stop Talking -Susan Cain 85%

It’s a book explaining how some became introverts physiologically and why introverts should be valued as much as extroverts. To be honest, even though I am able to appear as extrovert as anyone, I am an introvert. I like this book. It helped me to understand myself more.

3. Zero to One: Notes on Startups, or How to Build the Future -Peter Thiel 95%

This is a must read by Paypal’s cofounder and series investor with great insights about how to evaluate business ideas, gauge their potentials and design the corresponding business strategies.

4. The Lean Startup: How Today’s Entrepreneurs Use Continuous Innovation to Create Radically Successful Businesses -Eric Ries 80%

I like the point which the book was trying to make about starting up: make a basic demo of the product and improve products adaptively to fit the customers’ needs. Obviously it is not the only ideology to succeed compared to what Steve Jobs believe (People don’t really know what they want, until you put the products in front of them; It’s not the customers’ job to know what they want.) But it’s another way to look at things and agrees with what Facebook believes (Finish is better than perfect.)

5. How to Win Friends & Influence People -Dale Carnegie 85%

It’s probably the first self-help book ever written over 60 years ago with millions of copies sold. The author and the book are without question legendary with most of the points made still insightful about how to make others like you.

6. Becoming Steve Jobs: The Evolution of a Reckless Upstart into a Visionary Leader -Brent Schlender 90%

This book is a Steve Jobs’ biography written by an unauthorized author compared to Walter Isaacson. However this book makes me feel like this unauthorized author may deserve more to write about Steve Jobs because of the closeness between him and Jobs. Many more details than the one written by Walter Isaacson. I like it.

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Here is the list of English written books I have read since 2011.

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A small pier at Houston

1. I visited the hospital for some reason and I didn’t hear the nurse calling my name because I was working on the phone. Finally I heard and the nurse thought she didn’t pronounce my name right and asked me how to do it right. I apologized like, “Oh you are doing fine. I was just looking at the phone. Sorry to make you feel bad about your pronunciation…”

2. On that nurse’s desk I saw this Einstein, which I like a lot.

3. A nurse came in and told me she was gonna run some tests on me, which based on her, may make me a little bit uncomfortable. I kidded her like, “That’s OK. I am uncomfortable all the time…”

4. When the physician came in, he told he needed to do something that “might make me not like him.” I kidded him like, “Don’t worry. I don’t like you any way…”

1, School sent all students a text message saying there is a natural gas leakage happening in one building on campus the other day. Keerthana was like, “OMG, it must smell really bad down there.” I was like, “Well, natural gas leakage doesn’t necessarily mean it’s gassy…”

2. Jiankun got a stationary bike and told us he would go home earlier the other day to bike in a park. I was like, “Dude, are you gonna ride your stationary bike in the park?”

3. Anand is from India and he ironically shakes his head whenever he wanna say yes. One day he was talking on the phone and shook his head again when he tried to express his agreement. I was like, “Dude, you don’t have to shake your head over the phone. People can’t see you…”

4. India people are crazy about cricket. There has been a cricket world cup and India lost in the semi-final playoff the other day. I am not a fan of cricket but still trying to kid Anand by claiming to people in the office that, “India lost in the cricket world cup. I don’t feel like working today…

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Obviously this sign makes me feel so much safer about this zone…

1. I changed my Facebook profile photo and here is the conversation between Hot Jordan and me.

2. There are five ex-Phoenicians currently living in Denver. During spring break, Zach, Tom, Jordan and John visited them and had a great time. Zach posted the following on his Facebook to show his gratitude, “Thank you to the fantastic Phoenix Force Five for taking us in, drinking us up, smoking us down, and booting us out of this wonderful state…” I replied like, “They must be the legendary Furious Five…” (From Kung Fu Panda)

3. Keerthana was complaining she had got an ear inffection the other day in the office. I kidded her like, “Maybe because you talked too much and your ears got tired of it. It’s a sign Keerthana. Take it…”

4.I was at an eye doctor’s to get contacts. Since I had been waiting for a while, the girl who accommodated me said, “Thank you for your patience.” I kidded her like, “No problem. I am a patient here anyway~”

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(Brighten the screen for a better look) First time to see the aurora, not as good as in Arctic area, but super enjoy the feeling of chasing the aurora to the north with friends. One thing crossed from the list for sure and save a trip to Alaska in winter to see aurora, a package valued around $2000…

1. Lauren described her experience being stalked by someone when she was walking on the street early in the morning on facebook. It was pretty intense story and at the end she encouraged herself like, “… Anyway good job not getting raped tonight…”

2. I asked Keerthana about something about the data. Since she is not sure about the answer, she told me, “I am not sure, but most likely it’s XXX.” I was like, “Most likely? That’s so scientific. I am sure you can publish a lot of papers in this way…”

3. Annand is a new student and I joked with him by telling him, “I am always trying to be first. Even to eat shit, I wanna be the first one to eat…”

4. I was trying to return something in a store and the lady asked me if I had the receipt. I knew I had it but still kid her like, “I hope so…”

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Water Wall at the medical center of Houston

1. Jiankun always claims he is hungry, sleepy or tired in the office. The other day all of a sudden, he claimed to Mohsen and me like, “I am not hungry!” I was like, “Is it supposed to be news?”

2. I went out bowling in an event organized by engineering school. When introducing each other, I told people what research I was doing. One of them was like, “Oh, that’s cool…” I kidded them like, “Well, it will be cooler if it works…”

3. Devin and Spencer are living in Colorado now and Devin posted something on Phoenix Alumni group like, “Just sold some legal weed to John, Zach and Jordan!!( Three previous Phoenicians who were visiting Devin). That’s all!” Teddy replied by asking, “Where is Spencer?” I was like, “I think he’s getting high, of course, legally…”

4. I was auditing a course and professor was introducing a theorem named after a Netherland mathematician – Hoeffding. After putting “Hoeffding” on board, the professor put two dots above each letter of “Hoeffding” saying, “I guess we have to make his name Netherland official in the way…”

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Ti’s wedding in my camera. Thinking about being a part time wedding photographer to spread joy..

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1.1 I visited Houston for Ti’s wedding and served as the best man of Chao, Ti’s Husband. During the wedding rehearsal the priest told Chao, “Next I am gonna say a bunch of word and ask you a question. You just need to say ‘I do’…” I was like, “Dude, this is cheating…”

1.2 Luke, another best man was super careful with his tie, redid the tie many times and was still working on it. I kidded him like, “Well. Luke needs another 20 times to believe his tie is perfect…”

2.   I visited NASA Houston Center and the tour to the Apollo Mission Control Center happened after people climbed a stair of 86 steps. So the tour guide started the tour by saying, “Well everybody, welcome to the NASA cardio program…”

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Super excited to visit NASA Houston Center carrying one of the greatest science and technology achievements of whole human beings.

Independence, one of the only two remaining space shuttles

Apollo Mission Control Center (in service in 1960s and 1970s as the control center for Apollo Moon Landing Program)

There has been a census in the men’s room which we use every day:

GIVE YOUR POOP A MOVIE TITLE
-The Green Mile; -Apocalypse Now; -a million smelly pieces; -the loudest yard; -8mile; -Napolean Dynamite; -Titanic; -the big lebowski; -stuart little; -children of the corn; -beauties and beast; -Harry plopper; -the big dirty; -olympus has fallen;  -here comes the boom; -Avatar the last shit sender; -star wars; -water world; -back door sluts; -the great blumpkin charlie brown; -chariots of fire; -terminator; – blade; -建国大业; -The Gravity; -Unstoppable; -Unbroken; -Fury

FYI, my poo’s name is -Fast and Furious…

1 Laurie is a department secretary. Saturday was Valentine’s Day and I saw her in department office on Friday. She reminded me like, “Don’t forget to get yourself a valentine, honey.” I was like, “Oh thanks. I am working on that…”

2 Meagan is another department secretary who sends out emails whenever there is free food in the department office. I dropped by the department office, saw some food to give out and therefore helped myself. Meagan saw me and kidded me like, “What are you doing?” I was like, “Oh, I am trying to get some food before you send out emails for people to come…”

3 Charli complained on facebook like, “dad’s the only guy to wish me a happy valentines day complete with spongebob candy. god bless.” I comforted her like, ” I did not get a valentine wish at all,,, even from a guy…”

4 I was checking out some Chinese vegetables at the Meijier. Since the girl cashier didn’t know some of their names and had a hard time to find their bar codes, she apologized to me. I comforted like, “Don’t worry. You are not Chinese. You are allowed to not know…”

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Sunset at St Joseph

1. We were in Chicago for a conference last August and walked in Downtown Chicago. Both Mohsen and I claimed if by any chance we got robbed as long as we ran faster than Jiankun, we would be OK. Jiankun was like, “I knew you guys so well and therefore prepared $300 in my pocket before coming to Chicago for the robbers just in case to buy my life…” Mohsen and I were so impressed..

2. Keerthna accidentally knocked over a bottle of water and the water was spilled on the carpet. I was like, “Oh, Keerthna just wet the carpet…”

3. We were discussing about someone was sometimes too optimistic and sometimes too pessimistic in a restaurant. I was like, “Yeah, that’s his period..”

4. I saw a post on internet saying, “When we were kids, we tried to be cool kids, even we were just cool aids..”

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We went to Grand Haven and St Joseph to see the lighthouse and I got some good shots. Here is one of them.

1.1 I audited a number of courses this semester. Annand said he couldn’t do that because it would be too boring. I was like, “Dude, you’ve got the wrong goal. The goal should not be to learn stuff, but to ask questions in the class and confuse the professors…”

1.2 In one class the professor said something funny and people all laughed. Since I didn’t get it and therefore asked the professor to say it again, when the professor told me, “Never mind”. I was like, “No, I mind…”

2. Annand finished his Phd Qualifier Exam the other day and asked me where he can buy a notebook the next day of the exam. So I asked him, “So you decided to start study now? No offense, but I think it may be too late dude…”

3. We were discussing about something and Jiankun said people in our area would think it was bullshit, but others may just think it’s useless. But what’s worse than bullshit?” I was like, “Useless bullshit?”

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Can’t resist the damage caused by aging and finally decided to use beauty mask… Hopefully it won’t be too late…

1. Open Heart: The Radical Surgeons who Revolutionized Medicine -David Cooper 80%

A book about the development history of open heart surgery. I read it not only because I wanna know more about cardio research status quo in hospital, but also try to understand how innovation takes place under different circumstances. The writer interviews most of the legendary surgeons who pushed cardiac surgeries forward. The book met my expectations.

2. Reinventing American Health Care -Ezekiel Emanuel 85%

A book thoroughly introduced the history and problems of American health care system as well as the introduction to ObamaCare. A little bit over thorough and over detailed to me.

3. Bad Or, the Dumbing of America -Paul Fussell 30%

Recomended by Yonghao Ruo. A big disappointment though. The book listed the dumb and irrational things done by Americans. Full of complaints without any constructive suggestions. Whiners are winners and so much easier to complain than to do something useful. So boring that I could not even finish the book.

4. Liar’s Poker -Michael Lewis   85%

A fun book to read about an insider look about what it’s like to work on Wall Street. The book reads depressing somehow due to the dark side of working on Wall Street depicted by the book, which I am sure about personally.

5. Thinking, Fast and Slow -Daniel Kahneman 95%

A Nobel Prize winner’s book about the author and his collaborator’s work interpreting the brain’s fast working mode and slow working mode as well as many irrationalities people hold in daily life. A must read. Because the book is pretty thorough, it may be somehow wordy. However a summary of the book is also available on http://www.amazon.com.

6. 100 Most Significant Americans Of All Times -Smithsonian 100%

A really awesome book for me to catch up with American History and culture. There is no better and easier way to understand a country’s history and culture than to follow each significant individual’s life. Really nice read and lots of information.

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For a complete list of The Books Written in English I have Read since 2011 please click here.

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Protective net at the MSU hockey arena~

1. Since I have done standup comedian show before and agreed to serve as Ti’s male maid of honor for her wedding, she asked me if I would like to perform at her wedding. I denied her request but didn’t tell her the real reason: “I only know about dirty jokes, which are probably not best jokes to tell in someone’s wedding…”

2. Yi’ou shared one photo of her new fitness bracelet on social media with her comment like, “If a woman can’t control her weight, how can she even control her life” trying to show people her determination to lose weight. I kidded her by replying like, “Actually I think you problem is not being unable to control weight, but being able to control weight so well that your weight has been maintained at a constant level…”

3. John asked me if I have a girl friend and I told him, “No, man. Life is tough..” He told me, “Often tougher with than without, buddy.” I know he’s joking so I replied like, “Don’t scare me, man.. people told me love is the most beautiful thing in the world..” Jack, John’s friend was like, “They lie, Barton! It’s hell on earth pal…”

4. I have a paper in waste water (It’s funny because I am doing research in cardiovascular signal processing). The other day people were complaining about the drinking water in the building. I showed my concerns by joking like, “I would like to help you with you guys, but I am only an expert in waste water…”

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Holiday of Downtown Detroit

1. Rama is American Indian, who just hired two new Indians students in the lab in addition to two Chinese and one Iranian student. I came to the conclusion to others the other day like, “I think Rama is trying to find his origin. The next student of our lab is probably gonna be a Chimpanzee…”

2. Anand kidded me by lying to Keerthana that I was gay. I kidded back like, “Don’t worry, dude. She knows…”

3.1 I was playing soccer and texting my friend. Since my team was losing and my teammates blamed me for doing that. I kidded them like, “Come on, I am texting my bf..”

3.2 Later that day, Shaochen hid my cell phone away just to let me focus on playing soccer. The next time we played soccer people kidded me by asking how my bf was doing. I kidded back like, “Oh he broke up with me because I didn’t reply his message on time because Shaochen hid my cell phone last time…”

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Craftsman’s shoe shop

1. I visited one Ford plant and the tour guide told me they used an electrical screw driver so that every screw used would be recorded for manufacture quality control reasons. I was like, “So that people will not screw up?”

2. Mohsen was quite surprised and insecure to know google had predicted info about him and listed the info on google’s website under his account the other day. So he deleted all the predicted info under his account. I was like, “Good. Now you don’t even know what they know about you…”

3. Qiong’s professor required her to start working at 9am every day and sent him an email once she arrived in the office. (I personally think this requirement is crazy.) Anyway one day, she was late and still at home at 9am, when she received an email from her professor asking where she was. She had to lie like, “I am in the lab.” Her professor was like, “Me too…”

4. I went to Detroit zoo and saw a punching bag hanging in the kangaroo area. So I asked the tour guide like, “Is it for the kangaroos to practice punching?” The guide was like, “Yes.. But they prefer to punch each other. There is more feedback from that…”

1. Anand is from India. Whenever expressing “Yes” during conversations, he hilariously shook his head in an Indian way… This is so funny and therefore I learned to do the same. Mohsen was like, “Even Rama does the same.” Anand was surprised like, “Really? I didn’t notice.” I explained to him like, “That’s because you were shaking your head at the same time and you guys just got synchronized!”

2. Charli asked if she could put me as her reference for job hunting. I kidded her like, “Sure Charli. You know I can lie for you, Charli. I can do anything for you (pause) including lying…”

3. Rama told us he worked at home on Sunday, because he needed a change from his office. So I kidded him by asking, “Did your wife know you need a change?”

4. Greg is a technician in ECE’s electronic lab. One day on his way back to the lab from the restroom, he saw someone looking around in the hall way and therefore asked, “Are you looking for one of the guys in the lab?”

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I visited Ford Rouge Factory on Christmas Eve. Amazing experience!

I visited a farm of 12,000 milking cows last weekend thanks to David who worked there. It was super cool and I loved it. The whole farm didn’t look fancy, but every bit of it was well designed. Most of the food for the cows was grown and processed on the farm land. The defecation of the cows was collected and returned to fertilize the land. The food is a mixture of various ingredients and nutrients optimal for the cows to milk. The baby cows were sold to other specialized farms to grow and the adult cows were bought back for milking. A huge facility to run, a complex project to manage and a balanced system to maintain. It is a peek of American agriculture. Super cool. I was excited to take a glance.

One of the barns holding 1000ish cows each

Cows eating inside the barn

Cows waiting to get on the milking stage

Cows on the milking stage with milk collected by the vacuum pumps

Half of the baby cows born for one day

Grinded corns for the food of the cows. The corns were grown on the farm. Normally the stored food is good enough feed the cows for two years.

Dried alfalfa for the food of the cows. The dried alfalfa doesn’t look fancy but smells really good. And they were also grown on the farm.

Dried grass for the food of the cows. Also grown on the farm.

Farm land to grow the food for the cows with an irrigation machine showing

A defecation collection truck pouring the defecation into reservoirl All the defecation will be returned to the farm land as fertilizer

1. We were discussing about the fact that people have to give money to the bride and bridegroom for their wedding. I told people that I would try to know as many people as possible before getting married to maximize the profit of the wedding…

2. I saw Anand hanging around in the hall way and asked him what he was doing. He told me he was fishing for girls. I kidded him like, “Good, but you are wearing a wrong outfit man…”

3. We were waiting in a restaurant for some people to come probably a couple of years ago. Yujing was a little bit annoyed by the waiting and ask me “What should we do?” I kidded him, “You can pay the bill if you like…”

4. http://www.163.com reported data from a top porn website about how long its users in each country spent watching the porn on average for each visit, titled “Who lasts longest…” Surprisingly users from China are among the top performers in the world with an average around 14 mins. One Chinese dude replied on http://www.163.com like, “Obviously that’s a mistake.. 10 out of those 14 mins were spent buffering data in China…”

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I went back to Phoenix for the classic secret Santa Party and I served as the Santa. As always super fun in Phoenix.

I picked my favorite jokes of past few years made by myself the other day. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do. Power of accumulation for the growth! (And here is the link~)

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Chilling with people in the office is one of the beauties for PhD. Lots of joy, relaxation and learning… (From left to right: my feet, Jiankun’s feet and Mohsen’s feet..)

Here are those funny during the speeches in UM I attended last week as mentioned in my last post.

1. BCG’s CEO got his bachelor degree from UM but MBA from Harvard. When the chair introduced him to the audience, she was like, “Mr. Lesser got his Bachelor degree from University of Michigan and MBA from (pause) another school…”

2. Twitter’s CEO Dick is quite funny.

2.1 When the chair introduced him to audience like, “Dick got his Bachelor degree from UM, started up a company XXX which was sold to Google. He is now serving as the CEO of Twitter…” The chair would like to continue but Dick interrupted him by talking to the audience like, “Now you can clap…” And people laughed and clapped.

2.2 During the Q&A session, people talked through the MIC. Because the sound was heard from all the direction in the auditorium and Dick had a hard time figuring out where the speaker was. Again, he couldn’t figure out where the speaker was even after the speaker started asking question.” So Dick looked around and was like “God, you are everywhere…”

2.3 A student asked a question about Dick’s opinion on another project of Jack Dorsal, Twitter’s founder. Dick was like, “Jack is my boss. Therefore I think that project was great…”

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Captain Penguin found his beloved daughter…

1. Hillary had used 90% of the phone data quota with nearly 2 weeks to go before the end of the billing cycle. The owner of the family plan kidded her by suggesting her “get her shit straight” on Facebook. I made a comment like, “I personally don’t think getting shit straight is an easy job…”

2. I was ordering some food at the cafeteria of a shopping mall and took out my phone to take a photo of the one Iranian food counter. One of the guys working there waved his hand trying to get my attention and make me take a photo of him. I kidded him like, “No man. You are too ugly for my camera…”

3. Harsha told me there are thousands of gods in India. I was like, “Is it because there are too many people in India and that’s the amount of gods needed to get you guys in order?”

4. In India, the bride family needs to give the bridegroom family a lot of money for the wedding. I knew Harsha had been married with his wife for a while, so I was quite surprised to learn he got married one more time with his wife. He explained to me later the difference between getting married legally and religiously. I was like, “Good to know… I thought you were trying to marry twice to make more money…”

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I attended two speeches given by Rich Lesser, BCG’s CEO and Dick Costolo, Twitter’s CEO at UM. Rich’s speech was somehow bla, while Dick’s speech was quite entertaining and inspiring. It turned out Dick used to be a standup comedian in Chicago before making contribution in Silicon Valley. I was quite impressed by their speech capacity. Need to improve my own for sure. (Many thanks to Wenkai’s info about the speeches and awesome lunch,)