1. Brian C, John and I went out jogging during lunch. Brian said he needed to change really quick. I asked, “How quick? As quick as John’s sex?”
2. Anahis said her parents would like to bury their bodies after death. Shreya thought it was a waste of land. I agreed and joked like, “Anahis, can I suggest your parents bury themselves vertically instead of horizontally?”
3. Brian C is very eloquent. I joked with him like, “Hey Brian, I like the way you talk. You sound like you know what you are talking about…”
4. Red Sox played World Series against LA dodger last year. On Oct 26th, the two teams played 18 innings and Red Sox lost. It was the longest game in world series in term of innings and made many records in MLB history for its lengthy process. The next day, ESPN website claimed the game to be the longest loss in Red Rox history…
Visited Smoky Mountains the weekend before the last. Totally unreal synchronous fire flies! In Absolute Awe! The meaning of my life has been temporarily fulfilled. Met many amazing animals too! So much fun!
1. Jeff’s daughter was coming to Boston from Texas for holiday. She asked Jeff what she could bring as gift. Jeff was not sure. I was like, “You can ask her to bring some gas…” (gas is way cheaper in Texas.)
2. Claire, the beer committee captain, emailed us asking who would like to choose the beer for next order.” Corey said he would like to do it if nobody else would like to lobby for their libation. I was like, “Ordering beer is huge responsibility. People will judge based on the beer I chose. Too risky for my reputation. I hereby decide to judge Corey instead of being judged…”
3. Corey mentioned a movie which is about another movie. Manish was like, “Because meta-data is data about data, that movie should be a ‘meta-movie'”
4. The Art of Computer Programming is a long but classic book in programming written by a legendary professor. It was actually Bill Gates that wrote its preface, in which he said: “You should definitely send me a résumé if you can read the whole thing…”
Took my very first boat in life to see the foliage during fall. Totally in awe..
1. John wore turtle neck shirt to work and I told him Steve Jobs liked to do the same. He asked me why I did not do so. I joked with him by saying, “I don’t have the over-confidence..”
2. I paid a visit to the dentist’s and overheard one customer representative say, “I am losing my mind”, because she couldn’t remember where she placed some stuff. One minute later she found the stuff and I told her, “I am glad you found your mind…”
3. Moham’s head phone’s microphone was not working, but the ear pieces were. I told him, “I think it is suggesting you speak less and listen more..”
4. We hired someone with a name Sandy couldn’t pronounce. She complained about it. I was like, “We should put in the job description that ‘Candidate should have a name easy to pronounce. A candidate named Sam or John is a plus..'”
A house Albert Einstein lived for 20 years
1. Will said my jokes were not funny. I was not happy. Therefore I asked Anahis for a favor, “Anahis, can you tell Will his jokes are not funny?” She did. And I was happy.
2. At the end of Will’s internship, people went out for lunch together. I asked him, “Will, tell us what have you learned from us, especially from me?”
3. We were watching the penalty shoot out between Denmark and England. I joked with people, “I like watching penalty shoot out. I enjoy seeing people under pressure…” John joked back saying, “You can be a good boss..”
4. David was from Britain. I wore England’s jersey on the day of world cup game between England and Croatia to give David emotional support.
Meanwhile, I joked with Rishi like, “You should cheer for England too. India used to be part of Britain.” Vishal explained radically like, “No, they were just their slaves…”
Meteor Shower on the ocean.#100 days old BBQ party of Lipin’s baby
1. Will and Sameera walked towards me in the hall way. I formed fake a gun using my hand and joked to shoot them twice. Will pretended to get shot but Sammera appeared as if nothing had happened. I questioned Sameera like, “What happened to you? You just got shot. I shot twice. ” Will explained for Sameera like, “You are a terrible shooter and twice were both on me.”
2. I visited the zoo a few years ago, saw an elephant sucking dirt from the ground using his nose and spraying the dirt on his back. My friends asked why the elephant was doing that. I was like, “Maybe he is trying to get himself dirty and keep people away from riding on them?”
3. I was at Shaochen’s graduation ceremony a few years ago and happened to sit between a lady and her daughter, named Sara. For some reason the lady was trying to hook me up with her daughter and firstly asked me, “Are you single?” I went, “Yes.” The lady kept asking, “Are you gay?” I went, “No.” All of a sudden, she introduced me to her daughter, “Sara, this is Barton. Barton, this is Sara..”
(For more about this lady, please click my post on 2015.12.27 )
4. (The punch line of this piece has to be delivered in Chinese)
Washed Jerry the other days, which reminded me of many good times we shared in the past 5.5 years.
1. We were having work lunch and Christine teased me by staring at my food as if she was gonna eat it. I was totally freaked out, “Come on, Christine, you are making my food very uncomfortable!”
2. Montana and Christine told me a cheesy pick up line by performing. Christine pretended to be a guy asking Montana, “Hey are you a vegetable?” Montana went, “No, why?” Christine hit the cheesy pick up line like, “because you look CU(TE)cumber..”
3. Christine asked me which previous intern did I miss the most. I was like, “Come on. It’s like ask me who I should save first if my girlfriend and my mum both drop in the water.” Montana went, “You should save your mum.” I joked like, “which was why I still don’t have girlfriend.”
4.Christine told a joke. I teased her like, “OMG, Christine your joke is so funny, I almost missed it…”
Sameera was testing a phone app. For some reason I saw a hammer on her desk and got totally amazed by how she tested the phone app…
1. I bought a condo and talked to an insurance lady for insurance premium. She asked me about the approximate value of the belongings in my condo. I thought about it and told her, “Around $10,000.” She was like, “Oh, that means you are still single…”
2. We were having lunch and one lady had a strong and correct opinion about something. Some guy joked like, “Don’t we miss those days when women are still properties!?”
3. We went out for lunch. I recommended a restaurant and told people my reputation was on the line. Jason joked like, “If we don’t like it, you give us your paycheck.” I was like, “My reputation was invaluable but still not worth my paycheck…”
4. I went snowboarding at Killington 10 days ago and air b&b in a house. I boiled some Chinese food and joked with people that whoever said I was good looking could take one piece.
Since I had to leave early, Baozi teased me like, “Hey the good looking guy is leaving!” I was like, “Hold on for a second”, took out the phone, open the voice recorder app and told her, “Say it again. I need to keep the evidence…”
John showed me a protein bar he has been eating the other day. No B.S. … (I looked it up and the company claimed B.S. means Bad Stuff..)